Lebanese Mobsters Reportedly Involved in Conquerer of Roy Jones' Victory

The Western Australian Professional Combat Sports Commission is expected to soon reveal in a report that a Lebanese street gang known as the “Sword Boys” corrupted “The Green Machine” Danny Green’s first round knockout victory over “Hurricane” Paul Briggs July 21 in Perth, Australia.

The examination will reportedly document how the “Sword Boys” completed hundreds of gambling tickets worth in excess of $100,000 mere hours before the bout at two separate betting agencies.

Virtually all of the bets wagered involved Green winning in the prizefight’s opening round.

Green (30-3, 27 KOs), who demolished faded legend Roy Jones, Jr. (54-7, 40 KOs) in 58 seconds last December, struck Briggs (26-3, 18 KOs) with a glancing and feathery left jab that curiously left the “Hurricane” on Queer Street after a measly 29 seconds of “action.”

“This is the most farcical thing we’ve probably seen in many years in this country,” Centrebet media director Neil Evans said after the debacle occurred this past summer. “We probably held more individual wagers on a one-round knockout in this fight than we have in combined fights in this country in the last 20 years.”

The Western Australian commission said its inquiry would address a section of the Professional Combat Act which states: “Where in relation to a contest the commission is of the opinion that the contest is a sham contest the commission shall inquire into the promotion, arrangement and conduct of the contest.”

Initially, Green was forthright when he labeled Briggs “less than a canine” and recommended the “Hurricane” not receive compensation for his ring mockery.

Unfortunately, Green ultimately cowered like a clown pocket and claimed his punch was actually powerful.

“I caught Briggs on the soft part on the skull on top of the head,” said Green, 37. “To the naked eye it appears it hasn’t…(landed) but this is proof he’s been felled by a legitimate blow to the head and actually a brain stem kind of injury has occurred. It’s almost like a collision.”

Granted, prior to the Green debacle, Briggs had not fought since 2007 due to neurological problems.

Nevertheless, in this instance, that actualization is moot.

Briggs disgraced the sport of boxing and Green subsequently accepted the “Hurricane’s” actions like a weasel.

“Boxing is the most corrupt sport in the world,” said Brad Sherwood, 30, a South Boston resident who works as a personal trainer at Gold’s Gym in Medford. “At this point, it’s not even a sport. It’s like watching WWE.”

Sadly, Sherwood is correct.

Boxing is simply wrestling without the tights.