Facebook's New Sports Feature (Satire)
Coinciding perfectly with today’s release of the movie The Social Network, Facebook has introduced a new feature of its own—certain to become every sports fan’s favorite.
Filling an urgent need on the web’s most celebrated social site, Facebook’s new Dis-Like button combats the shameless self-promotion of the sports world’s biggest unbridled egos by affording frustrated fans the opportunity to stem the Internet’s newest STD (socially transmitted disease, that is) of tasteless sports celebrity hype.
Certain to become the web’s latest viral sensation, Facebook’s limited edition Dis-Like button is patterned after Homeland Security’s color-coded threat advisory system and reserved only for the most overblown egos in sports world.
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Facebook’s new sports-specific, multi-tiered feature allows users to display their personal distaste of self-absorbed jocks using the brilliantly simple annoyance alert system.
Wanna KO T.O.’s mindless chatter? Press the new yellow Dis-Like button for elevated annoyance and choose a complimentary Bag of Hot Air emoticon to appear next to the Bengal receiver’s name and picture.
Wanna deep six Ochocinco and make Chad go a little poco loco? Press the new orange Dis-Like button for high annoyance, which will automatically attach a Thumbs Down icon next to Chad’s photo, so your Friends can share with all of their Facebook Friends...up to 85 times apiece!
Wanna short-circuit Shaq? Press the red Dis-Like button indicating severe annoyance, which immediately shuts down this shameless self-promoter on your Wall and automatically reports Big Diesel’s boorish behavior to Facebook’s online police.
Social network experts predict that Facebook’s new sports feature will quickly emerge as the perfect antidote for overblown egos of overconfident athletes whose excessive self-promotion is crying out for curtailment.
Liking Facebook’s new Dis-Like button—soon to be every sports fan’s favorite.
This is MIKE—thee American-made voice on sports!
