No Passion Please, We're British: The Problem with English Football

English football fans often question their teams' desire to win—and criticise players for failing to show enough passion on the pitch.

In truth, though, it's no wonder that most of our superstars keep their emotions in check—especially when the only reward they get for cutting loose is a rollocking from the FA.

Remember when Gary Neville was handed that ludicrous fine for "over-celebrating" in a match against Liverpool a few seasons ago? What on Earth is "over-celebrating" anyway?

If a player were to follow a goal with a victory lap of cartwheels and flips—fair enough. But booking a player simply for removing his shirt?

If the FA have such a huge problem with naked male torsos, surely every footballer who indulges in a bout of shirt-swapping after a big game should be shot at 10 paces.

And then there's the subject of managers. Who in God's name ever thought that instituting a "technical area" the size of my left foot was a good idea?

Not that modern managers would have it any easier if they were allowed to roam the sidelines at will. It was little more than a week ago, after all, that Sir Alex Ferguson became another casualty of the ridiculous protocol that calls for banishing a coach to the stands should he—God forbid—disagree with the almighty and all-knowing referee.

As far as I'm concerned, then, the problem isn't that the players and managers lack passion—it's that the morons in charge fail to allow that passion to flow.

Last season's Carling Cup Final between Arsenal and Chelsea was proof that the players do still care. Yes, tempers flared, and yes, there was a red card or two—but at least fans got their money's worth.

It's a shame that English players and coaches fail to bring that sort of zeal to our national side. Had Steve McClaren been sent to the stands for shooting his mouth off against Croatia, we may have been able to forgive him for his monumental failure.

Instead, the manager stood in the rain under a brolly looking like he'd just burnt his pizza in the oven.

Not that England's new manager should have any such problems.