Linda McMahon: WWE Stars We'd Like To See on Her Senate Staff
Politics is dirty business.
But who better to clean it up than Mrs. McMahon?
She and her husband have kept some of the most wild guys around in place for years, so certainly she can straighten things out in Washington.
Especially if she embraces her past and brings along her "staff".
These are the members of the WWE who she needs to bring with her to make sure she doesn't get filibustered.
Senate Staff Assistant: Miss Hancock
Miss Hancock has managerial skills and a beautiful resume of work.
She would definitely be an asset to Senator McMahon at any speaking engagement.
I guarantee it will be standing room only if her staff assistant shows up at her side wearing this outfit.
Assistant To the Head of Security: Iron Sheik
This man would be able to tell you where any attacks might come from, because he probably knows every enemy you might have.
Though he is getting up there in years, to this date very few people have escaped his "Camel Clutch".
He's prone to colorful outbursts, so she might want to keep mics away from him.
And though he lives in Georgia, she should check his paperwork.
Other than that, I think he's her guy.
Head of Security: The Macho Man
She's going to need someone to watch over Sheik.
And she can trust Randy "Macho Man" Savage.
Seems like a stand-up guy.
And stays with the job.
She can call Miss Elizabeth and the makers of "Slim Jim" for references.
Communications Director: He Hate Me
I know he technically wasn't a wrestler, but her husband owned the football league that made him a household name.
As a member of the Las Vegas Outlaws of the XFL, Rod Smart promoted himself as "He Hate Me" and made headlines everywhere for the moniker that he so smartly placed on the back of his jersey instead of his last name.
And as a member of her staff he can promote her issues just as well.
And if anything goes wrong, she can blame it on him.
Press Secretary: Torrie Wilson
It doesn't matter what bill she is trying to pass; let her present it.
Legislative Directors: Degeneration X
These three could argue whatever bill she needs in front of the Senate.
And they will follow proper "Standards and Practices", as evidenced in this video.
Deputy Chief of Staff: John Cena
He's an American hero, an action star, a hip hop musician (according to Wikipedia), and a nine-time WWE World Champion.
She wants him on her staff. She needs him on her staff.
And if others ever disagree with her on any bills, he could just use his catchphrase on them:
"You can't see me!"
And then elbow-drop them.
Chief of Staff: Vince McMahon
I don't need to tell her that the man knows how to get things done.
And he has her back.
Not to mention they work so well together.
Personal Assistant: The Undertaker
To really make a splash in her freshman year, she is going to need a big entrance.
What better way to enter the Senate Hall than with the Undertaker and his theme music?
They will fear her!
District Representative: The Rock
I don't need to say much here to push Mr. Johnson as her District Rep.
I'm sure she smells what the Rock is cooking.