Portland Trail Blazers Bloggers: The Search for Sheed

Busta BucketCorrespondent IJuly 31, 2010

PORTLAND, OR - APRIL 29:  Brandon Roy #7 of the Portland Trail Blazers in action against Jason Richardson #23 of the Phoenix Suns during Game Six of the Western Conference Quarterfinals of the NBA Playoffs on April 29, 2010 at the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon. The Suns defeated the Blazers 99-90. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

It has come to this. Bustabucket celebrity and noted shakedown enthusiast Sheed has gone underground, and nobody seems to know why.

Perhaps his reclusiveness is the inevitable result of overexposure. We see it with actors all the time, being too famous for too long is hard on one’s mental health.

Is Sheed enduring a self-imposed exile on some tiny Tahitian atoll, desperately clinging to whatever shred of sanity his mind can capture?

Or is he, as T-Mac’s (the famous bustabucket commentor, not the obscure basketball player) journey implied, locked away in a cabin in northern? Is Cdub with him?

As of now we have only unsubstantiated rumors picked up from encrypted international e-mail chatter and anonymous internet message boards.

The following is what we know.

April 29, 2010: Sheed’s last post - " Game 6 Preview: Blazers v. Suns "

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This entry wasn’t written by the same Sheed that we had come to love; the enthusiastic young man (?) with undeniable flair and unending charisma. This was a passionless vampire robot copy & pasting clichés from the How Sportswriter’s Suck trifold informational pamphlet.

“Do or die time” and “buckle down and win one at home” both make cameos, as does “terrible offensive game plan and bad defense,” which must be played out because it has been used to describe every single game ever coached by Nate McMillan. Sheed didn't even have the heart to call this a shakedown.

Maybe Game 6 finally broke Sheed. It was an inglorious end to a frustrating season of injuries and power struggles. If this entry is evidence that Sheed’s enthusiasm was on life support, Game 6 could have pulled the plug.

July 11, 2010: Sheed deletes twitter account

Over 1,000 Sheedophiles cut off without warning. In a search for answers some call out my name , but I too am in the dark. I too am floating in empty space. The night grows colder, my blogs less coherent.

J uly 13, 2010: Sheed comments, or does he?

A comment is left by an individual named “Sheed,” three days after the post has been written and two days after anyone else has bothered to read it. Is it the Sheed? If so, why surface in a place guaranteed to be ignored? The mystery deepens.

July 25, 2010: Reported Sheed sighting

Commenting legend Scotty B uses awful Chris Paul entry as platform to announce a Sheed sighting at a wedding. No further details are provided, making triangulation of Sheed’s possible hideout locations impossible.

July 27, 2010: Mysterious E-Mail

I receive an e-mail from an anonymous sender with an agenda. The subject line reads “Scotty B” and the contents consist of only a YouTube video, which I’ve embedded below. Clearly, someone is running a smear campaign aimed at discrediting Scotty B. Is it Sheed himself?

Whoever the culprit it’s clear that their plan backfired. All this video does is make me want to hang out with Scotty B. That guy owns the dance floor and is by all accounts awesome.

Considering the recent spike in Sheedtivity I believe that he is close. When and if he surfaces again, we must be ready. Send me any tips regarding his whereabouts or plans. Or drop them in the comments, if you dare.