Cleveland Cavaliers' Fans Survival Guide: Life After LeBron James

Initially I was going to write a humorous diary about the craziness that was the Lebron James announcement. Before I could start the TIVO and write, I found out he was going to Miami.

There's no humor in that. An egomanical star decided to take a No. 2 on the city that has showed him massive support from his teenage years to now. Turning his back on his home state is one thing, he was a free agent after all.

Doing so in a televised middle finger to a city that is so desperate for anything positive, much less a championship, is vile. He spent an entire week contriving an event years in the making, giving false hope to Cleveland, a smaller city that has been hurt so much by sports.

Being from Buffalo, I understand the pain sports can bring to a diehard fan who lives off of hope and then sees it crushed. I know it's going to end badly, but just do it quickly. Don't build up false hope, don't start a season 5-1 if the season ends with no playoffs (thanks Bills), don't string along the people who packed Quicken Loans arena to see and celebrate the king.

Before Lebron was the jolly hero throwing powder in the air as a visual display that he is ready. Thursday night, he should have worn a tuxedo and top hat and thrown salt into the eyes of random Cleveland fans, and called himself King Fuji.

Lebron went to Miami because it gave him the best chance to win a ring, because being the No. 1 seed in the NBA two years in a row doesn't really leave you much chance of even making the championship round much less winning a title.

Face it, the King legacy was a fraud perpetrated by marketing companies, ESPN and regular season greatness. Lebron is the Marty Schottenheimer of football (sorry, some of this article will hurt Cleveland.) Lebron may be great, but for now Kobe is king. If Lebron wins five titles, he can get take his throne back.

Sadly, Cleveland fans are way too good as coping with hurt feelings, yet this night stings worse than others. Lebron was one of them.

An Akron boy, Ohio was his home, and Lebron decided home wasn't where he would win a title. Keep that last sentence in mind as I provide the Cleveland fan some solace and comfort, from a fan with no vested interest yet one who has felt the pain before.

1. Even if Lebron came back to Cleveland, he wasn't going to win a title there—If Cleveland was the No. 1 seed two years in a row and couldn't make the finals, that provides a good road map for what would have happened in future years. Lebron and others blamed a mediocre supporting cast, and they weren't great, but they also helped Lebron be #1 twice. Come playoff time, some of the cast played poorly, but they also followed in their leader's footsteps. In multiple instances recently, in huge playoff games, Lebron wilted under the pressure. A true leader would take sole responsibility for the loss or step up and win the game. Lebron walked off the court like a baby. Keep game 6 of Orlando last year in mind when you miss him.

2. Lebron quit—Maybe it was the Delonte West rumor, or an awful Panda Express experience, but game five against Boston defied logic. He was terrible. No reasonable explanation existed to what happened, until tonight. His last home game, in Cleveland, he mailed it in. The King gave you Cleveland fans the middle finger without you even knowing it. He knew he was leaving then, and his performance in the most important game of the year showed it. Sometimes breakups hurt, but this is the beginning of the healing process.

3. Dan Gilbert is still the owner—Some Cleveland fans may blame Dan Gilbert for not getting the Lebron deal done. Lebron knew he was leaving two years ago. Gilbert got toyed with and blindsided by a liar. Gilbert kept Lebron three years ago, and spent a lot of resources to do whatever was needed to make the best run at a title that they could, and the Cavs did. Gilbert is probably in the top echelon of owners in the NBA and will make moves in the future to try to help the team stabilize and build. I know fans of the Knicks, Suns, Clippers, Timberwolves, Sixers, and many other teams would teams would take Gilbert in a second. Add to that the absolute thrashing Gilbert gave Lebron after the announcement and know you are in good hands.

4. The Cleveland Cavaliers are still a playoff team—Obviously not a No. 1 seed, but after all they are in the Eastern Conference, which is very top heavy. Charlotte and Milwaukee made the playoffs last year, it's not that difficult of a proposition. No non-playoff team got substantially better since Amare for David Lee is almost a wash. Mo Williams or Jameson can step up and score 19-20 a game. No Shaq will probably help increase the flow of the offense. Byron Scott has to be at least as good as Mike Brown. A superstar like Lebron is probably worth 15 wins minimum, if that is true the Cavs are a 46 win team. They obviously need some help but now have some money freed up. It's not much but it's a start. Enough of the passive thoughts, let's get vengeful.

5. Lebron, along with Wade and Bosh have incredible potential to get injured—From past history and commercials, we know that if Wade gets knocked down six times, he gets up seven. Unless he injures his shoulder, then he needs to leave the court in a wheelchair. Cleveland should hand out three signs the first night Miami is in town. One that reads "King Coward", one that has a picture of Wade in the wheelchair, and one that reads "Chris Who?"

Before the trade, I thought one of the three would have been injured at the hands of Michael Beasley, as he went crazy and attacked one of them randomly and strangely. Without Beasley, now I know that the three will have injuries because they will have to log massive minutes just to get home-court in the first round.

The rest of their roster right now is Joel Anthony, Da'Sean Butler, Kenny Hasbrouck, Mario Chalmers, Jarvis Vernado and Dexter Pittman. Chalmers will play decent minutes, but the rest of them are massive unknowns, with Pittman literally being massive. The Heat have no cap space to sign anyone else. The three are going to have to play huge minutes before the playoffs hit and then make it through a physical Eastern Conference against the Bulls, Magic, Celtics, and for your sake, hopefully a new mean Cavs team. Someone is getting hurt.

6. For once, Sports Karma is one your side—Sports Karma appears to have a violent war against the cities on Lake Erie, torturing their fans with new and unique methods that are currently prohibited under the Geneva convention. Buffalo spawned two NBA teams, and the stench of Buffalo still lingers in the Hawks and Clippers to this day.

Cleveland has too many awful sports pain moments to mention here, or anywhere for that matter. Lebron was the best chance Cleveland finally had to win a title, yet he couldn't do it. Now in the matter he left, Cleveland for the first time since who knows when has sports karma on its side.

Sports karma is a bitch, and it just moved into a third bedroom condo overlooking South Beach. It's seductive, flirtatious, yet will attack those that have done wrong at a moment's notice when they least expect it. As long as Sports Karma is hovering over Miami, they aren't winning a title. Just ask the 18-0 Patriots, John Calipari or France soccer what sports karma can do if you anger the Sports Gods. As long as the Cleveland fans do their role, sports karma will act like Snookie drunk at a club.

7. You can make a difference Cleveland fans—It's psychological warfare now, and a bit petty, but so what. As a customer who help make Lebron James rich (in fairness, you did get a lot in return), you got ripped out and should be angry about it. Sports Karma does not reward wishy washy tepid fans who embrace those athletes that scorned them.

A-Rod got booed at first when he went back to Seattle in 2001, and the Mariners started off on fire. As the regular season went along, the Mariners were still awesome, but the A-Rod reaction became more mixed, with some cheers mixed in. Despite 116 wins in the regular season, sports karma turned against Seattle and they didn't make the World Series then, or since.

Atlanta Falcons fans actually cheered Michael Vick, and the Eagles won handily and made the playoffs because of that game instead of Atlanta. As Cleveland fans (other fans can join in also, the more the merrier), you need to boo Lebron during intros, after he scores a basket, during free throws, whenever he gets the ball, whenever he enters Ohio. All the time. Every time.

Although Lebron is a fantastic ball player and has marvelous physical skills, you can get in his head. The voices at Quicken Loans Arena, more than any other, can send a clear and constant message to him. He screwed his legacy big time.

8. Lebron is a superstar athlete moving to South Beach with his posse—Scandal here we come - Some crime or scandal is in the not too distant future. With a crazy ego and the world is about me attitude, the crash is always harsher than the accent. Especially with the media on board building him with with "Witness to Greatness" Messiah like moments. One thing the media does well is ravage the same people they elevate.

Will it be a woman issue, a posse fight, drugs, steroids, gambling, or a combination of multiple things? I have no idea, all I know that this free agent reality show how big is Lebron's head exhibition has made him the star he always wanted to be. Maybe Lebron should visit Central Florida and ask Tiger how much fun media scrutiny can be.

Thursday night was awful for Cleveland, but the spectacle does have one silver lining, one that can unify a lot of fans around a city so mired in defeat and misery.

For fans of Cleveland can start a new chant that can resonate just as loudly in Orlando and New York and Washington and Oakland and Portland.

"Beat LJ, Beat LJ, Beat LJ, Beat LJ"