The Klitschkos Would Arrange Funeral Services for Evander Holyfield

Delusional WBF heavyweight champion of the world, Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield publicly claimed he could beat either Klitschko brother this past week.

"I think that I could beat them now," said Holyfield, 47, who captured a bronze medal in the light heavyweight division at the 1984 Summer Olympics and is the only boxer to win the World Heavyweight title four times. "I really think so."

Holyfield (43-10-2, 28 KOs), whose been more spent as a prizefighter than Paris Hilton's bed since he slithered passed a bum named Vaughn Bean by a controversial unanimous decision in September 1998, was once a truly great pugilist to be admired.

Now, he is another example of all that is wrong with boxing.

In August 2005, the New York State Athletic Commission rightly and compassionately banned Holyfield from fighting in "The Empire State" due to his diminished skills.

Because boxing is a corrupt and loathsome sport, Holyfield found ways to get sanctioned elsewhere to continue his suicide by boxing.

Both WBC champ Vitali (40-2, 38 KOs) and his brother, IBF, WBO, IBO, and Ring Magazine titlist Wladimir (54-3, 48 KOs) would absolutely maim Holyfield at this stage.

"The brothers use more cautious tactics in the ring," said Holyfield, a longtime reputed abuser of steroids.

Ed LaVache is the owner of Boston Boxing Club in Allston.

LaVache contends that Holyfield is simply another example of a finished pugilist trying to hang onto glory and riches.

"Holyfield is a classic case of not letting go," said LaVache. "For a lot of these guys, boxing is all they know and it's the only way for them to make money. So, they keep fighting until the fight is lost in them."

If Holyfield fights a Klitschko, he could lose more than a bout.

At best, versus either Klitschko, Holyfield would lose whatever minimal intelligence remains in his head.

At worst, a funeral would need to be arranged to honor "The Real Deal."