FIFA World Cup 2010: Why The U.S Will Never Be Good at Soccer

First off, that's right I called it soccer, why?  Because I'm an American that's why and to us "real" football is played by giant sweaty men, who we call athletes but in reality most of them can barely get out of their Lazy Boy recliners.

Secondly, the U.S. didn't even coin the term Soccer, guess what the British did.  It's what the classy folk called the game.  Only the commoners called it football.  That's right England, we're classier than you.  Suck it!

Now on to the actual meat and potatoes of the article.

The reason why the U.S will never ever be good at soccer is simple, our elite athletes play real sports.

I know what you're saying, "oh but soccer is the most popular sport around the world." 

Yeah, thanks to third world countries.  All you need is enough money for masking tape and you can just roll it up into a ball and kick it around a dusty field for hours while you try to forget that you're starving to death. 

Thanks third world.

Here is a serious thought, could you imagine what the World Cup would be like if Lebron James and John Cena played soccer?  That's right I just said Pro-Wrestling was a "real" sport.

The U.S would be unstoppable.

However, because we generally dominate the important world sport of basketball and even the lesser ones like both summer and winter Olympics, I guess we have to throw the rest of the world a bone every four years.

So whoever wins the World Cup this year, enjoy it, the next day you'll still suck at everything else.