2010 NBA Playoffs: The Final, Empty Thoughts of a Cleveland Fan

Take a deep breath, Eric.

Ok, before I begin, let me say something. To all of the LeBron haters and people who take joy in the Cavaliers failing yet again...you've already won. Your point has been proven. So please just turn back now; there's no need to continue reading.

Game over—and you're the victor. Once again, we're the losers.

If you don't want to hear another fan complaining about how his team didn't win, it's not necessary to read this article. By the end of it, you'll probably either hate me and my brethren or feel sorry for us...and that's not the purpose of this piece.

And if you don't want to listen to the overly-obsessive thoughts, complaints, and whines over a seemingly meaningless sports game that should have zero ramifications on the future...don't waste your time.

Really, this article/piece/blog, whatever you want to call it, is directed at one demographic: the Cleveland sports fan. Though those from Seattle, Buffalo, or Minnesota might be able to relate.

All right, here goes...

I've only been writing at Bleacher Report for less than five months. I've only frequently contributed to the site for less than two months.

During that time, I've gathered nearly 50,000 reads of my articles. Might not seem like a lot, especially compared to the other great, insightful writers we have on this website, but I live in a town with about 6,000 people.

To think that (in equivalence, of course) each person in my city has read each of my articles eight times blows my mind.

That being said, only a few people on this site know me personally.

Outside of sports, I'm probably the exact opposite of what you'd expect. When it comes to my day-to-day life, I'm pretty emotionless—I don't smile a lot, I don't laugh a lot, I don't tell jokes a lot, I don't share my thoughts a lot...I pretty much keep to myself.

One of the reasons I love writing so much is that it's a chance to share my emotions and thoughts in ways that I would never think to express in my daily life.

Maybe it's a chance to get over my shyness.

Maybe I just feel comfortable reflecting on what goes on in my head instead of blurting it out loud.

Whatever the case, I feel like it's important you know this about me.

Under normal circumstances, I would never even think of writing something at this moment. After my team suffers a devastating loss (and you'd think I'd be used to it, but I'm not), I go into what I call the "sports coma."

I lock myself away from the outside world and, when I'm good and ready and a substantial amount of time has passed, decide that it's once again time to start watching ESPN, to start reading my favorite bloggers, and ready to actually watch and evaluate games...whether it's basketball, baseball, football, whatever.

Don't believe me? Ask my roommates Eric B., Eric J., Dave, and Sean from last year. When the Cavs lost to the Magic, I basically went into catatonic shock.

I spent about two months in my room, ignoring everything that happened in the world...even our own graduation.

During our graduation night, I popped out of my room only to say hi to a few old friends and to watch the Lakers close out the Magic (the only game of the series I watched, by the way)...then I retreated to the place that was my solace.

I only stepped out of that sanctuary to get food or use the facilities. I kept my head low, said no more than two words to people at a time, and dealt with the pain in my own manner, no matter how strange or disturbing it might seem to those around me.

Why bring all of this up now?

Honestly, it just felt like I should. Instead of just being another voice, another opinion, another masochist viewpoint on the Internet, it's important you Clevelanders know there's a face behind the story.

I know what you're feeling. I've been there with you...for the last 23 years, at least. I'm not as familiar with the first half of the story, but I know how it ends.

There's no need to re-live the history...but don't tell that to the genius producers at ESPN, who must think it's hilarious to constantly run the "Cleveland Sports Heartbreak" highlight reel at the most opportune times, like during the fourth quarter of tonight's loss.

But the last week in the Cavalier kingdom was unlike any experience I've ever been apart of. If six days ago you would've told me that I'd be writing an article like this, I would have thought you were nuts.

And yet, here we are.

Another year, another disappointment.

Another year without a championship.

Another year without finally conquering something that's weighed over the city's shoulders, like a squat thrust that's gone horribly, horribly wrong and has crippled anything that's stood underneath it.

But there's something about this debacle, this defeat, this heartbreak that stands apart from the other ones.

I hate doing this, because I hate self-loathing exhibitionists as much as you do. Whenever ABC runs that highlight reel like they did tonight (at the most appropriate time by the way, when Cavs fans knew the inevitable...I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure a tear ran down my cheek after watching all of it and encompassing the unavoidable result), I boil with anger and exasperation.

But with "The Drive" in '86, it was simply a matter of a legend stating his claim as one of the league's best. Similar to what LeBron did against Detroit in '07...yea, they both lost in the finals, but the message was sent: We're superstars that are here to stay.

"The Fumble" in '87 was just staggering and unimaginably bad luck...but even if Byner would have gotten in the end zone, it just would have forced overtime. Knowing our luck, something bad would have happened in the OT session that screwed us over anyways.

The 2007 NBA Finals was a learning curve that all teams must go through in order to become champions.

And the '97 World Series...oh who are we kidding? Even I can't come up with a justifiable defense. The Sports Gods just wanted to f**k with us on that one.

But this year...this year...this effing year...I've never, not once, seen a Cleveland team keel over because they didn't have the heart or will to win.

For God's sake, even the 2009 Cleveland Browns, a team that I once dubbed the worst team in the history of the NFL, showed some heart after a 1-11 start to win four in a row to end the season. They had nothing to play for...but they still found something to fight for.

But for the Cavs, in the playoffs, in the biggest year of the franchise's existence, to lay an egg like they did in this series? It's just...it's disgusting, disheartening, and utterly disappointing.

Sure, they laid it on the line for a majority of the final game. But in the marathon that is the NBA playoffs, you have to maintain a steady pace throughout—you can't just walk through miles 10-15 and 19-22 and expect to win.

It's exactly what the Cavs did this postseason. Look, I'm not making excuses; the Celtics were the better team in five of the six games. But if the Cavs were to bust their asses off in games two and five, then maybe, just maybe, things could have turned out different.

But even if it did, would it have made a difference against Orlando? Against Los Angeles?

Like the great Brian Windhorst said in his final blog tonight , this team was far from a championship team...no matter what the regular season success would suggest.

To quote Denny Green, "they are who we thought they were." Which is, specifically, a team designed to beat the Magic and not the Celtics.

I said it during the first game of the regular season (not to be one of those arrogant a******s who rubs it in your face), but I thought this team was built specifically to beat Orlando, and ignored Boston in the process.

During the Celtics indifferent run from Christmas to April, I kind of forgot about it. Especially when the small-ball lineup we used on Feb. 25 ran them out of the gym and, at the time, seemingly out of the playoff contention hunt.

Look, I don't have to rehash what happened in this series. Cleveland fans are intelligent enough to gather their own conclusions.

If anything, our fault is too much loyalty—once we grasp that a potential title is in our reach, we cling and grab so hard that the once-firm grip seemingly slips through our fingers.

This one carried expectations beyond anything we as fans could comprehend. There was no "plan B" or second guessing; it all ended with LeBron winning the title...this year . No one imagined any circumstances beyond that.

But what makes it abominable is the last two minutes of the game. Down by seven with two minutes to go, the Cavs give up an offensive rebound (their Achilles heel of the postseason) to give Boston another possession. After another miss, they do the same again.

Then, after missing a shot and being down nine with a minute to go, they don't even try to foul. They give up another offensive rebound and don't foul again.

They quit.

They gave up.

They basically said, "we have no chance of winning this series, nor do we care if we win or not...let's just get the f**k out of there."

Now, we must deal with the consequences.

There's no need for me to sit here and throw the same old clichés in the air; you guys are Cleveland fans, you're intelligent, but also well aware of what's at hand.

There's no need for me to say, "well, there's always next year."

There's no need for me to say, "good things come to those who wait."

And there's no need for me to falsely comfort you by saying, "it's ok...LeBron will be back next year, and we'll be right back where we started."

That's why this year's loss is extra painful, extra numbing, extra mind-blowing. Because, quite literally, with no room for interpretation, LeBron James' decision on free agency will the most important decision made by one man in Cleveland sports history...even more important than the decision that the heartless b*****d Art Modell made after the '95 season.

If he comes back, it's a fresh start. A chance to do it all over again at the King's discrepancy; his choice for coach, for role players...basically, he owns the franchise.

If he leaves, it's the end. Bill Simmons and the rest of the sports media world would be right—it would be the death of professional sports in Cleveland .

How could our city possibly recover?

How could the Cavs possibly lure in another big-name free agent who would want to play in the shadow of LeBron James, knowing that every single failure would (fairly or unfairly) be placed on their shoulders?

And, perhaps most importantly, how could any single Cleveland fan have faith in anything ever again?

We've been through enough.

We've suffered enough.

We want to win more than any other fan-base in the country...only, if you were to watch the final minutes of Thursday's Game Six, you would have thought it was the Celtics starving for a championship and the Cavs ladled with the complacency that comes with winning a title.

Now, we sit and wait. And if you think LeBron is announcing his decision on the first day of free agency, you're crazy—he's going to drag this thing out to make himself the center of attention.

All we can do is hope. And pray. And believe that maybe the "Chosen One" will fulfill his destiny as the savior of all things Cleveland.

Because if he doesn't...well, we're on the same wavelength. Draw your own conclusions.