Ask Dieter: David Beckham's World Cup Dream and Achilles Injury

Ask DieterContributor IMarch 21, 2010

Daveed Beckhams has contacting me because he is soo sad. A few weeks ago he was injured playing for AC Milan over-65 team.

Halloooo, I am Dieter, the residente agony aunt to de starz of fussball.

Hello Dieter,

I am so sad. Fabio said he saw a role for me in his World Cup squad. Now I am injured and so sad, because I will not be able to go. I was really looking forward to going to Bloemfontein. It is such a funny name it always makes me laugh. Just think of all the fun we could have had laughing at those funny names!

I can't even sing any more, and Posh is so sad that she has started singing again, I really need to get out of the house. She follows me everywhere, and doesn't like me going over to John Terry's house to play Call of Duty, I just don't know why.

What can I do Dieter, everything is falling apart. You helped me before, please, help me again?


Halloooo Daveed, eet ees zo nice to hearing from you again. How long has eet been? Zo many years. You have been very naughty not calling on your Unkle Dieter.

But I forgive you because I love you zo much. Remembering, ze last favour zat I deed for you? Ho ho ho.

Liking I said to you before, beeld eet und zey weel come. You geet the West Ham fans to sing about Posh, und wallah, she ees experimenting like never before.

Thees time Daveed, you mussen accept dat you were never going to play. Fabio need someone experience to making ze tea at half time, just liking you jolly Englanders do. Du are old Daveed. Du ees no stamina, no tackling, und keine goals in zo long, even the leetle Shawn Wright Phileeeps ees more better than you now, und he ees no good. Even worser than David Odonker und that ees saying something.

Du are like a fallen God baby, only Achilles could halt your dream.

You mussen alzo remembering zat Engerlund are wanting to host a World Coop und du are zer most famous son, und always in der newspapers und zo, zey need your popularity. You weel go, as an adviser I theenk.

Ze plus side ees, you willgo zo ze World Coop, eef you want eet. Alzo, du weel bring ze Posh zu Sud Afric alzo.

Zat ees gut und not zo gut I know, aber just do not geet her pregnant. Bloemfontein Beckham ees not zo nice I am thinking. You can always try ze West Ham tecknik. Eet might even halt her singing fur einen moment.

Don't be a stranger Daveed, I eem always here.

Vielen Danke meine freunde.

Guten tag, I am Dieter, the residente agony aunt to de starz of fussball. You may contacting me if I am liking you.Β 


The latest in the sports world, emailed daily.