L.A. Sparks Clearing Cap Space, Making a Play For LeBron (Satire)

In a bold and unprecedented move, the L.A. Sparks of the WNBA has decided that the only way to beat the Connecticut Sun is to acquire LeBron James through free agency.

To enable such a move, the Sparks have waived 11 of their 12 players, keeping only Candace Parker. The plan would be to have LeBron playing positions 1-4, and have Parker play center.

The Sparks know their gamble is a long shot since the team is only allowed to spend $825K on player salaries. This would mean that James would have to be willing to accept a sizable cut in pay.

When asked about the Sparks joining the Knicks, Clippers, Bulls, and other NBA teams vying for his services when his current contract runs out, James was non-committal. However, he was cryptic enough in his response to give hope to the Sparks. James was quoted as saying, "LeBron James needs to think about what is best for LeBron James, but I have already told you all that LeBron James is not going to address this particular topic until the day comes." He continued, "That being said, Candace is cute as hell and LeBron James is getting sick of playing in the winter...but that is all I'm going to say."

Some in the WNBA are fearing the possibility of such a move. Seven year WNBA veteran and part-time ESPN analyst Kara Lawson said that LeBron's joining the Sparks would certainly shift the balance of power. "You have to figure, that with his length and strength, James could pretty much average as many as 30 points per game," said Lawson.

The Cleveland Cavaliers, James' current ballclub, refuses to admit their fear of LeBron leaving. Cleveland GM Danny Ferry, when contacted for this article, said "I don't much pay attention to these rumors. We're going to do what we always do, and that's do our best to build a team that makes LeBron happy."

In an unrelated move, the Cavaliers have just announced that they have signed Connecticut Sun F Aisha Jones. When asked about the move, LeBron was quoted as mumbling "damn man, she fine too."