NBA Power Rankings (24 Style) Part 2

My apologies for not getting this out on time, the last couple of days have been crazy for me. However, better late than never as I always say, so here we go with part 2 of my NBA Power Rankings, 24 style. Actually, a couple of quick tangents:

1. I finished Part 1 Wednesday afternoon, Wednesday night the Detroit Pistons win pretty convincingly over the Boston Celtics. I will take complete blame for the loss. In Part 1, I indirectly called the Pistons a train wreck and slammed them for signing two bench guys for $100 million. It just so happened that one of those bench guys, Charlie Villanueva, came alive in the second half and couldn’t be guarded by anybody on the Celtics. Can anybody say reverse jinx? I didn’t mean to, I swear!! My reverse jinx was so bad it even affected the referees. Apparently you can call a timeout without having the ball now. Who knew?

(Quick mini-tangent. Do you think that Tommy Heinson’s doctor watches Celtics games on Comcast Sports Net? I would hope not. Because if he did, instead of giving Tommy the numbers on how high his blood pressure is, the doctor can just pop in a tape of Tommy calling the game and turn up the volume.)

2. To any Charlotte Bobcats fans reading this, (It’s okay, you can come out now, they’re winning.) you’re welcome for Thursday night’s thrashing of the Miami Heat. A day before I put them in Nina Myers division, and the next night they put a Jersey Shore type beat down on the Miami Heat. Note to Michael Beasley, don’t ever talk junk before a game ever again. See what it did to your team?

Charles Logan Division- By far one of the shadiest characters 24 has ever had. Did I mention at one time he was the president of the United States? Seeing that Logan is shady, the following teams I don’t trust, no matter how good they’re playing or how much talent they (supposedly) have.

(Another quick mini-tangent. The only thing that the writers of 24 didn't do to make Charles Logan resemble Richard Nixon was at sometime make Logan pose with both hands up in the air and giving peace signs.)

Utah Jazz (24-18)- I trust this team like any girl could trust their boyfriends or husbands not to gawk at Christina Hendricks during the Golden Globes. (Can we name an award after her so we’ll see her EVERY year at the Golden Globes?) The Utah calling card is being put into effect again this year, almost unbeatable at home, bad on the road (16-6 at home, 8-12 on the road). It’s almost like they’re petrified of stepping on an opposing team’s court. Deron Williams (19 points and 10 assists per game) and Carlos Boozer (19 points and 11 rebounds per game) are having solid years again for the Jazz and this tandem, I feel, is the best pick and roll combination in the league right now. However, it doesn’t matter how good this team is playing, I just don’t trust them. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re awful on the road, the fact that Carlos Boozer might be one hangnail away from sitting out the rest of the season because he doesn’t like being in Utah, or the fact that Jerry Sloan might not be the best coach for this team, but I don’t trust this team whatsoever.

Orlando Magic (29-15)- Going into this year, I really wanted to believe that Orlando was a legitimate team and that I could trust them making a run at a number 1 or 2 seed in the east. They could very well still make a run at a #1 or #2 seed, but I don’t trust the Orlando Magic as far as I could throw Dwight Howard. I’m sorry to all you Vin-sanity fans out there, but one of my top ten rules is never trust a team with Vince Carter on it. He plays when he wants to and you can’t do that on a team that depends on your scoring to take the load off of Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard. A lot of people going into this year were saying that Vince would play hard every game because he has people around him now to help carry the load, well, that hasn’t been the case. I could go back further but I’ll go back to the last three games; January 20^th vs. Indiana, 6 pts, January 21^st vs. Sacramento, 11 pts, January 23^rd vs. Charlotte, 21 points. It’s unfathomable to me how someone as talented as Vince Carter has 17 combined points against the Indiana Pacers and Sacramento Kings. Last time I checked the Pacers and Kings were not defensive juggernauts. My next beef is with Dwight Howard; I thought this guy was supposed to have some post moves by now? Where’s Patrick Chewing in all of this? I thought he was working with Dwight? Haven’t we had the “When He Gets Some Post Moves” conversation enough, HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY!!!!! He can rebound, and he can dunk, he can block a shot, that’s it. If you think I’m wrong, why do you think the Magic brought in Vince Carter in the first place? They got Vince to get some more scoring because they can’t rely on Dwight to score on a consistent basis. They’ll beat up on the crappy teams in the East, but I think once it comes to playoff time, Vince being a Houdini act at times and Dwight having the post moves of a freshman in high school, they won’t go far.

Aaron Pierce Division- These teams, like former Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce, don’t have a real flashy personality, but are pretty consistent in their respective conferences and will be there come playoff time.

Portland Trail Blazers (27-18)- Right now the Blazers have the #4 seed right now in the Western Conference and are trucking right along. I honestly thought that the Andre Miller signing was going to blow up in their faces, but as of right now he’s played well for them. He’s the third leading scorer on the team, averages around 5 assists per night, and his assist/turnover ratio is around 2.5 to 1. I also thought that the Blazers signing LaMarcus Aldridge to the contract they did (5yr, $65 million extension) was risky. Giving a lot of money to a relatively young guy (24), early in his career might have caused him to go in hibernation. But so far he’s done well, averaging 16 points and 8 rebounds a game. Lastly, how much can you say about Brandon Roy that hasn’t already been said? The guy is a bonafide superstar and is definitely one of the top five closers in the league. He’s having a great year again this year, averaging 23 points, 5 assists, and 5 rebounds a game this year. The best thing I like about Brandon Roy, his mentality. He just goes out and plays, period. No big out of basketball projects, he’s just all about basketball and I love it. Sorry to end on a poor note Trail Blazer fans, but it’s just really sad to see Greg Odon on the bench. I really want to see that guy succeed, but it just seems like his body won’t allow him to. All over again, does Portland take Kevin Durant?

Miami Heat (23-20)- I know it might seem like an insult not to call a team “flashy” when they have a guy who’s nicknamed “flash”, but the Heat are really a grinding team. Not grinding as in style, they like to get out and run, but grinding as in personnel. The Heat have to grind, night in and night out because they don’t have a dominant team. It’s Dwayne Wade, and that’s it. Wade’s averaging 27 points per game this year, with the second leading scorer being Michael Beasley, who’s averaging 16. As Dwayne Wade goes, this team goes. However, that’s a heavy load for him to handle. He has to do everything for this team to even make the playoffs. That definitely takes a toll on him, as we saw in the playoff series with Atlanta last year. Beasley has been consistently getting better and the almost corpse of Jermaine O’ Neal has been playing well, but again this team is all about Dwayne Wade. I really see this team making a deal at the trading deadline to try and make a run at the Eastern Conference. I would see them like to go after Amar’e Stoudamire. The Heat could give up Daequan Cook, Quentin Richardson, Udonis Haslem, and picks to Phoenix for Amar’e. This would allow Beasley to play at the 3, (he’s a matchup nightmare at the 3), Stoudamire to play at the 4, (Can you name me a Eastern Conference power forward who can guard Amar’e?), and O’ Neal at the 5 (I got nothing.). That a very dangerous team in my opinion and could make a deep run if this trade were to happen.

Toronto Raptors (23-22)- This team always flies under the radar but they’re always very dangerous. The Raptors are currently 6^th in the Eastern Conference and have adapted pretty well to the acquisition of Hedo Turkoglu. Currently he’s the third leading scorer on the team. However, he hasn’t shot the ball with consistency like he did for Orlando last year, I expect him to pick it up after the All-Star break and take some of the load off of Chris Bosh. Speaking of Bosh, he’s putting together a monster year. Right now he’s averaging 24 points and 11 rebounds a game, and he’s playing with a fire this year that I’ve really never seen before out of him. Perhaps it’s due to the potential ridiculous payday he’s going to get in the summer, but regardless Bosh is playing great. Definitely should have started for the East in the All-Star game over Kevin Garnett in my opinion. A nice surprise for them has been the play of Andrea Bargnani. It seemed for a while that he want going to be another Darko Milicic, but he’s play great this year. Currently he’s averaging 17 points and 6 rebounds per game and is giving them another force inside in addition to Bosh. I’m still hearing rumors as to a possible trade with the Raptors and Lakers, where Andrew Bynum goes to Toronto and Chris Bosh gets rented out to LA for 5 months or so. If this were to happen, I actually think would be great for the Raptors. Bosh’s game, for the most part, is outside in. He likes to shoot jumpers first, and then go inside. But with Bynum, his game is all inside. With him in the middle, shooters like Turkoglu, Calderon, Jack, and Bargnani can spread out around Bynum. Interesting to think about if you’re a Toronto fan.

Bill Buchanan Division- I always rooted for Bill Buchanan when he was on 24. He always stood for the right things and did what was best for the country as a whole. The following teams are the teams (minus the Lakers) that have a special place in my basketball heart and I hope they do well.

Phoenix Suns (26-19)- I root for this team because of what Fat Daddy Shaq did to them the past year and a half. He selfishly and moronically tried to make them a half court team because he couldn’t get his overweight behind up and down the court to keep up with them. Now that he’s gone, and clogging the middle in Cleveland, (not in a good way) I find myself rooting for this team. In addition, I love watching Steve Nash play. My brain goes into beauty pageant mode, like mush, when I try and think how Nash is playing so well at 36. Right he’s averaging 18 points and 11 dimes per game, he’s shooting an insane 53% from the field and 42% from behind the arc. Watching Nash play is better than reading those stats, it doesn’t look like he’s lost a step at all. He runs with the same shiftiness and purpose that he had during his MVP years. Amar’e Stoudamire’s having a solid year again, but I say that while holding my breath because he’s been injury prone his entire career. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see if Phoenix tried and moved him during the trading deadline and get something for him because he’s a free agent this summer. Perhaps to the Heat (see above) The surprise for the Suns this year has been Channing Frye. For the Blazers and the Knicks he was nothing short of disappointing, but he’s had a rebirth in Phoenix (11 points and 6 rebounds a game). Right now they have the 7^th seed in the West, and could definitely give headaches to some of the upper teams in the conference come playoff time.

Houston Rockets (24-19)- I honestly have no clue how they’re doing it, but the Rockets are above .500 and playing well in the West, even though Yao Ming is a walking injury report and Tracy McGrady took his ball (pun intended) and went home. Most of the credit needs to go to General Manager Daryl Morey, he’s put a team together who is tough and gets after it. Point guard Aaron Brooks has definitely stepped up this year for the Rockets; he’s leading the team in scoring and assists, and has hit a lot of big shots for them so far. Believe me, I know how good he’s doing; he’s on my fantasy team. The second leading scorer on the team is Carl Landry, who’s averaging 16 points and nearly 6 rebounds a game as a 6’9” power forward. I’m also not sure if there’s a tough guy award in the NBA, but he needs to get it this year. Earlier this year he donated three teeth to Dirk Nowiski’s elbow and PLAYED TWO DAYS LATER!!! WTF?! He gets my infinite respect for as long as he plays in the league. Trevor Ariza is still getting adjusted to being a scoring option, but he’s played lock down defense for them so far and was definitely a great signing for him. I’m not sure how long this run is going to last for the Rockets, but it’s definitely and entertaining one and I hope they do well.

Chicago Bulls (20-22)- I hope this team does well because their coach is an idiot. I know they’ve been playing a lot better as of late, but Vinny Del Negro is the wrong guy to be coaching Derek Rose. He needs a guy who was a facilitator during his career, perhaps like a Byron Scott. Look at what he did for Chris Paul in New Orleans. Vinny Del Negro came off the bench and was a shooter during his career, he has no idea about get other players involved. Regardless of his incompetence, the Bulls started off horrible but have found their groove. It all starts with Derek Rose. His points per game (19.4 this year to 16.8 last year) are up from last year but his assist totals are down (6.3 assists last year to 5.7 this year). Luol Deng has been a pleasant surprise for the Bulls this year, averaging close to 18 points and 7 rebounds a game. He’s been a sufficient #2 option to Rose. The most important thing for this team is their defense. If they’re able to create turnovers and run, look out. I watched them in their game at Phoenix on Friday night; it was a track meet from the opening tip. Derek Rose, Deng, and company were able to run up and down the floor on the Suns and make fast break points look easy. I know that running up and down on the Suns isn’t exactly tough, but still the Bulls looked impressive. For them to be successful, the tempo needs to be fast paced.

Oklahoma City Thunder (24-20)- This team is one of my favorite teams to watch on television, period. It’s a complete travesty that the NBA didn’t give them more nationally televised games this year. Whether they win or lose, it seems as though they’re always competitive and definitely make it entertaining. If the top group of stars in the NBA is Kobe, LeBron, Wade, and Melo, I would say that Kevin Durant is close, maybe even in that group. This year he’s definitely come into his own, averaging 29 points per game, and is definitely getting more and more comfortable with being THE GUY down the stretch. I’m already not watching the All-Star game because Allen Iverson is starting, but if Kevin Durant doesn’t make it, I’m protesting. Point guard Russell Westbrook is having a breakout year, being the quarterback of this exciting offensive unit and facilitating the ball quite well. This year he’s averaging close to 16 points and 7 assists per game. Watching him and Durant play off each other is riveting television. Jeff Green has been a nice #3 option and rookie James Harden has definitely been the “glue” guy that the Thunder thought he would be when they drafted him out of Arizona State. If there are basketball gods, they need to make this team enter the playoffs, whether they win or lose, it’ll definitely be uber entertaining.

Tony Almeida Division- During the show, Tony always played second fiddle to Jack Bauer. He was always great, but it was always Jack Bauer who saved the day and got all the credit. The following teams are definitely a force to be reckoned with, but might not have the buzz, or talent, that the teams in the Jack Bauer Division have.

Dallas Mavericks (29-15)- I honestly laugh every time I read, say, or write the word “Maverick” because I hear in my mind all of the Tina Fey sketches on SNL where she made fun of Sarah Palin. Now, onto basketball. I don’t think you can put me in the “Dallas Hater” category because I think they have a talented team, but I will never put them in the top tier teams of the league and here’s why, during big games they seem to choke, a lot. For example, last year’s playoff game against the Nuggets where they didn’t foul Melo and then let him hit a soul-crushing three to practically win the series for the Nuggets. Next example, not stepping on the throat of the Dwayne Wade and the Heat during game five of the 06’ finals, when they could have gone up 3-2 with the series heading back to Dallas for games 6 and 7. Lastly, when they were getting a lot of buzz early in January and a win against the Lakers would have definitely put them in the discussion of favorites in the West, they then laid an egg and got blown out at Los Angeles, 131-96. This team is loaded with talent. Leading the charge is Dirk Nowitki, who’s having another stellar year, averaging 25 points a game. Jason Kidd is playing against father time yet again, averaging 9 assists a game and controlling the high powered offense of Dallas. I think the surprise for this team has definitely been Shawn Marion. He seems energized, flying all over the court, blocking shots and playing great defense. We’ll see how long it lasts. It seems as though wherever Marion goes, eventually he gets mentally incompetent and starts creating problems with his team. So far so good for Dallas. This team should make a deep run into the playoffs, but I’m not on the bandwagon yet until they play well in a big game.

Denver Nuggets (29-14)- Again, a very talented team, but until they beat the Lakers, I don’t think they’ll be put into the top tier team discussion. Has anyone started out as hot as Carmelo Anthony did the first 10 games of the season? Lordie, he looked about as good as he ever has coming out of the blocks. The Chauncey Billups trade is still paying off for the Nuggets. He’s the consistent leader of that team and will never let them get too far off track. Him and Melo average about 49 points a game between the two of them, and is a pretty awesome one-two punch to watch. Kenyon Martin is still giving them occasional scoring and rebounds on the low block, and Nene has had a mini-breakout year so far. He’s like Amar’e, you just saying he’s doing well while holding your breath because you can almost feel and injury coming on. I think the big thing for this team will be not overlooking their competition to get to the Lakers. The Western Conference Finals lost for them stung hard and they want to get back. The key for them is will they have focus enough to beat the teams in front of them and not look ahead. In a conference that’s as stacked as the West is, doing so will get you eliminated early from the playoffs.

San Antonio Spurs (25-17)- Before everybody freaks out because I didn’t put the Spurs in “The Main” category, let me explain myself. I understand that the Spurs always start out of the gate slow, but there’s been other red flags that have popped up signifying that this team might not be that good. The first one is Richard Jefferson’s sluggish start. So far this season, he’s averaging only 13 points per game, whereas his career average is somewhere around 20 points per game. Needless to say, he’s not adapted well to the San Antonio offense and he needs to be more productive for them to go anywhere in May and June. Next there’s Manu Ginobili, I’m not exactly sure where his head’s been. Word is that Manu’s been Pop’s whipping boy as of late, and I don’t blame Pop for doing it. Manu’s averaging around 13 points per game and is not attacking the rim the same ferocity that he has in the past. I don’t know if he’s injured, but something is definitely wrong with him. On top of those two things, Tim Duncan looks old and Tony Parker definitely doesn’t look like himself. A nice surprise for them has been DeJuan Blair, which I think it’s unbelievable that the Spurs were able to get him in the second round. He dominated Big East play for Pittsburgh for three years, and he falls all the way to the second round. I know the Spurs have been able to flip the switch to playoff mode before, but with all the red flags, they might be making an early exit come May with everything that’s happened so far.

Since I'm already up to 3800 words already, I've decided to extend these rankings to a third part. Should be up later on in the week.