Sundays From the Cellar: The Return of Sloth Incognito

Record: 1-12

Sunday’s Inevitable Outcome: Titans 47, Rams 7

The Line: Titans -13

Week 14 Viewing Strategy: Close my eyes and pretend it’s January 2000 and I’m watching the Super Bowl.

It may be difficult for Rams fans to fathom, but it has indeed been almost a full decade since the franchise’s one shining moment since moving to St. Louis – the Super Bowl victory over Tennessee.  It what may seem to be a recurring theme in this column, before we delve into the torture that is following the 2009 Rams, we pause for a minute to reflect on the beauty that was the 1999 version…

Thoughts from the Rams Message Board – Incognito Edition
After drive killing unsportsmanlike conduct penalties by Richie Incognito on back-to-back series, the message boards were needless to say a little upset at our man, Richie.

Incognito is just an hill billy incested version of the hulk, only dumber. He was probably in the movie “the hills have eyes”

I am sick of Richie, if his sorry — shows up at TGI Fridays tomorrow, then he better swing first, I dont care how big he is, only a real wuss, cant put his team first. I dont care if they arrest me, or he pounds me, I am standing up to his fat a$$

Incognito needs to take his helmet off and go head butt a brick wall

Incognito needs to get his a$$ beat by his own offense. he ruins everything. ###MORE###

Simple NFL Math
Patriots 59, Titans 0 (Week 6)
Titans 47, Rams 7 (Week 13)
Theoretical margin of victory if the Patriots played the Rams: 99

By the Numbers…
Steven Jackson rushing yards – 47
Keith Null’s QB Rating – 37.8
Richi Incognito penalty yards – 30

The Moment of “This team is horrible”
With 3:00 minutes left in the first quarter, I actually wrote down a note about how it was a small victory that the Rams defense had gone an entire quarter without allowing a lengthy run by Chris Johnson.  Roughly ten seconds after that was written down, Johnson ran 39 yards for a TD to make it 7-0.

The Moment of “This team is even more horrible than I thought if that was possible”
With six seconds left in the first quarter, Johnson takes a screen pass 66-yards for another touchdown to make it 14-0.  I went from “hey at least Chris Johnson hasn’t broken one yet” to watching 105 yards and two touchdown runs in the span of three minutes.

Let’s just say it didn’t get any better from there.

Competition for #32
#27 Oakland (L 34-13) – Bruce Gradkowski goes down…JaMarcus Russell comes in = disaster
#28 Kansas City (L 16-10) – When you get outquarterbacked by Ryan Fitzpatrick, as Matt Cassel and his four picks did Sunday, things are pretty bleak.
#29 Cleveland (W 13-6) – Their shocking victory over the Steelers on Thursday night dealt a serious blow to their chances of locking up #32 through the end of the season.
#30 Tampa Bay (L 26-3) – I may harp on it regularly, but if the Bucs think they’ve got their “QB of the future” in Josh Freeman, then the future is going to look about as depressing as it does in Blade Runner
#31 Detroit (L 48-3) – All things considered, this team isn’t all that much better than last year’s.
#32 St. Louis (L 47-7) – A thrashing by the Titans, a start by their third string QB, Steven Jackson finally collapsing after carrying the offense for 12 weeks.  Everything has fallen into place for the Rams to reclaim their spot as the worst team in the NFL.

Up Next: vs. Houston

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