Celebrate, New Jersey: Nets Win!

It's history at its finest, folks. The New Jersey Nets, former (actually, permanent) owners of an NBA-record 0-18 start to their 2009-10 season, finally have their first victory .

And the crowd collectively exhales.

Go-go gadget heart strings. If you're a New Jersey fan (I'm not, and God rest your soul), this is the Super Bowl-winning kick, the comeback drive for the game-winning score, or the NBA Finals-clinching basket.

Enough about how awful this Nets team is. We don't want to hear about how depleted the roster is due to injuries, how despite Lawrence Frank coaching his arse off and getting all he could out of this team, they still couldn't get him one measly win.

As true as those things are, as sad as it is to jump and cheer over one, and quite possibly only the first of five wins this year, this moment needs to be embellished.

The papers need to bleed New Jersey red, grey, and blue. Or something close to it.

Devin Harris needs to get off his high horse, accept that the playoffs left with Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson, and that rebuilding mode began when he was traded for Jason Kidd.

Yes, it's just one win. And yes, it was only a 97-91 victory over a Charlotte Bobcats team that isn't all that much better, but like they say: a win is a win.

And to that, all the fans and members of New Jersey turn to each other, tearful gazes galore, and mouth, "Indeed."

Now comes the interesting part.

We're done with the mockery. All the jabs that could possibly be thrown have landed. The Nets are rivaling the worst of those horrible L.A. Clippers and Denver Nuggets teams.

The fledgling Toronto and Memphis expansion teams of yester-year ain't got nothing on this (not quite King Kong) Nets squad.

And I do apologize, Devin Harris. Great game, Brook Lopez. Way to do your part, Courtney Lee.

Again, I do apologize, but this doesn't mark the ending.

This was one hump. One battle that was more staved off than won.

You, Nets of New Jersey, are 1-18, and staring straight into the face of a 63-game schedule from hell.

And like with all people, groups, and especially sports teams that we know with all our hearts have no chance in the world, I say, "Good luck."