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B/R Exclusive: Meet Danhausen, Wrestling's Hottest (and Most Unique) Free Agent

Graham GSM Matthews@@WrestleRantFeatured ColumnistJanuary 12, 2022

Danhausen just might be your new favorite wrestler you weren't already aware of.
Danhausen just might be your new favorite wrestler you weren't already aware of.Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

It's as exciting a time as ever in wrestling right now, with several top talents set to hit free agency soon if they haven't already, yet the one up-and-comer with the biggest buzz and arguably the brightest future is Danhausen.

The 31-year-old, allegedly emanating from "someplace far away," has made quite the name for himself over the last year-plus. Despite the business being hit hard by the pandemic, he still managed to gain traction and build upon his growing popularity through conventions, signings, the occasional independent show and, most of all, his eccentric online antics.

In the past, Danhausen has described himself as a demonic version of comedian Conan O'Brien—someone he has been inspired by immensely. According to Danhausen himself, the two have plenty in common: both have great hair and very tall, powerful, wonderful, very famous, and very rich.

Elvira is another inspiration for him along with CM Punk because of his tendency to do whatever he wants and pursue multiple passions. Danhausen stands out by always remaining in character, talking in the third person and adding "hausen" to the end of random words.

One thing The Rock, CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Renee Paquette and even Jim Cornette all have in common is that they've become big believers in Danhausen's dedication to his craft, his in-ring psychology and logic, and his appeal to his masses.

"[Jim Cornette] loves that Danhausen for some reason," Danhausen told Bleacher Report. "Baffling turn of events, but Danhausen will take it. Chris Judas [Jericho] is a Fanhausen as well."

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The Danhausen phenomenon can be summed up in four simple words: very nice, very evil. In referring to himself as such, he hopes to throw his opponent off before forcing them to endure human teeth (that aren't their own) without having to worry about getting disqualified because teeth already reside in their mouth.

If you haven't heard of him yet, odds are you will in 2022 if his popularity continues to climb at a rapid rate.

Danhausen is among the most beloved stars in wrestling today who aren't currently contracted by a major promotion. He most recently wrestled under the Ring of Honor banner before the promotion temporarily closed its doors in December, freeing him and many others to sign anywhere they want at the onset of the new year.

Unfortunately, though, a leg injury he sustained at Halloween is going to keep him out of action for the foreseeable future.

"All of January is taken off to do physical therapy and hopefully getting this muscly leg back to being muscly," he said. "It's going OK. I had my first day of physical therapy [last month] on this robotic leg Danhausen has now and doing easy things are quite hard to do now such as stretches and body weight squats. We shall get there and get even stronger like The Terminator."

Although he intends to lay low until February, he has kept himself busy lately. He took part in ROH's farewell Final Battle pay-per-view, managed Rock 'N Roll Express at an independent event, appeared on the Jericho Cruise and linked up with Punk for a dual signing at Chicago's C2E2 convention in December.

"It was like two Macho Mans coming together to form The Mega Powers," Danhausen said about his long-awaited interaction with the All Elite Wrestling star. "It was great. It was my first time meeting CM Punk. We ate Starbucks together, it was wonderful. We had catering together. We got to meet Fanhausens and there were lots of people taking pictures with Danhausen and CM Punk, which was pretty surreal for Danhausen. We also rode around on my scooter because I needed a scooter to get around that weekend.

“Somebody should buy him Amazing Fantasy #15 because he loves Spider-Man," he added when asked about something fans may not know about his close confidant CM Punk. "It's a very expensive book and would be a very nice gift. Danhausen would do it, but he's busy buying all of them for himself.”

That was in addition to his experience meeting John Cena at New York Comic Con two months prior: "We had a force field between us. Here's the thing: There was a force field between us because you cannot have the power of John Cena and Danhausen collide. There was a force-breaker and it kept all of our powers in check because otherwise the universe would've gone boom."

At this time a year ago, far fewer fans were aware of Danhausen and his desire to get a big blimp. His work on ROH TV was largely going under the radar due to it being a smaller platform, but from starting up his own Patreon and Pro Wrestling Tees store to filming Cameo videos and vlogs on YouTube, he's managed to not only remain relevant but also become an underground sensation.

He has attempted to use the internet in every form to generate a passionate following, create compelling content and find new ways to reach his Fanhausens.

"[The internet] is a free tool. Well, it's not free, but pretty much everybody has it," he said. "Why not use it to make money? Why not use it to spread your name? So, Danhausen has used this free tool, or whatever, and followed in the footsteps of Zack Ryder, who really hammered home the use of the internet to get his name out there and make fame and money.

"I've followed that blueprint, along with Ethan Page's blueprint to use the internet, and it has seemed to work quite well," he added. "When you're backed into a corner and can't do physical shows, you have to do what you can and it was quite successful."

As noted, getting injured didn't hinder his momentum in the slightest, but ROH announcing a hiatus until April and its intention to release all talent from their deals caused him to question where his "monies" will come from next.

His primary goal at the moment is to get back on television, at which point he can attain the fame and fortune he longs for. There is no shortage of options when it comes to companies to choose from, but he has his sights set on one in particular: All Elite Wrestling.

"There is a certain place, and I don't think it's been a secret, that Danhausen would like to have wrestling matches with lots of people because they are all there," he said. "We can try to team with MJF or punch him in the groin if he tries to betray Danhausen.

"Danhausen has unfinished business with Corey [Cody Rhodes] from, like, three years ago. Danhausen needs to team with 'Pepsi Man' CM Punk, obviously. He needs to face Adam Page because he's calling out Danhausen at comic cons in Chicago. There seems to be only one place for Danhausen."

With AEW specializing in stables, Danhausen is open to the idea of finding a partner or joining an existing group. Given his history and chemistry with many members of the roster, the possibilities are endless.

"Danhausen could be CM Punk's legend like how Darby [Allin] has Sting," he said. "We could do that and give him some advice as to how to take the championship. Danhausen has a lot of good friends there. Orange Cassidy is one of them. The Dark Order seems pretty evil. Britt Baker seems to deal with teeth. Chris Judas, perhaps I can join [Inner Circle]. Santana and Ortiz are looking quite evil nowadays. There's a whole list of people Danhausen loves at that company. We shall make enemies with them or make friends with them or whatever."

AEW President Tony Khan, who Danhausen admitted to having no talks with as of late December, has been known to give wrestlers entrance music they used in another promotion, with Jungle Boy, CM Punk and reDRagon being prime examples. Danhausen would like the same to happen to him as he owns the rights to his current walkout song produced by Two Minutes to Late Night, an obvious parody of "Tequila" by The Champs.

"Danhausen owns it now, they gave Danhausen the rights to it," he said. "Danhausen tried [to use it in Ring of Honor]. They wanted Danhausen to use their house music or whatever it was. Danhausen tried to push it... but they said, 'meh.' Danhausen would love to get John Carpenter or Danny Elfman to make him music, too. One of the two would be cool."

WWE NXT 2.0 shouldn't be considered completely off the table as a potential landing spot, either. Not only does he have good friends there, but he'd also fit right in with a brand now focusing on more cartoon-ish characters.

"Danhausen would love to wrestle Sami Zayn," he said. "He'd love to team with The New Day, he's good friends with Xavier Woods. He's great friends with Shotzi Blackheart. Who knows? Cesaro is there, he's a wonderful wrestler. There's a lot of wonderful wrestlers there. Kevin Owens just re-signed it seems. Danhausen would love to wrestle him."

Aside from securing that elusive "all elite" graphic or earning a big bag of monies from another company, Danhausen has set many goals for himself in 2022 including appearing on a television show that isn't wrestling-related and getting his own comic book along with a full-scale action figure.

Above all else, Danhausen will not rest until his evilness is felt across the world. Whether it be a blimp or a spot on the AEW roster, anyone who fails to deliver on his demands will risk being cursed for eternity.

         

Graham Mirmina, aka Graham "GSM" Matthews, has specialized in sports and entertainment writing since 2010. Visit his website, WrestleRant, and subscribe to his YouTube channel for more wrestling-related content.

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