Viagra Is the New HGH

No joke, kids. Viagra is so damn hot right now, it’s ridiculous. There was the initial wave of Viagra heat way back in the day, when Phizer had the market cornered, and then Cialis and it’s 10 hour erection rolled along, hogging the airwaves as various competitors popped up. It’s the standy rounds for pharmy development. But suddenly, the old timer, Viagra, is back in the heat of things.

And in the strangest places — baseball and cycling, as it relates to steroid use.

First, there is the story from the Miami Herald that reveals the possibility that cyclists are using Viagra to cheat. And people are testing for it. With boners. Kidding. About the boner part.

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Scientists at the University of Miami are studying whether sildenafil citrate can improve the speed of cyclists riding at altitude. The World Anti-Doping Agency is funding the two-year project to determine if Viagra should be added to the list of banned drugs in sports, joining steroids, human growth hormone and EPO.

At a lab on the Coral Gables campus, cyclists swallow a 50-milligram Viagra pill or placebo, step onto a stationary bike, warm up, then pedal at race pace for 3.6 miles while breathing oxygen-reduced air that simulates the effect of riding on a 12,800-foot mountain.

The Tour de Romance? No. None of the subjects has had an erection.

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Makes sense. From what we “hear”, Viagra doesn’t actually give you a chub for four straight hours. Rather, it gives you the ability to get said chub quickly and for an extended period of time. But you need something that actually piques your interest, like say, anything other than a bicycle seat rammed up your ass.

The other splash Viagra made in the news today is in Major League Baseball. Roger Clemens, according to some sources, has been popping Viagra for years. And so has Raffy Palmerio, obviously. But it turns out neither were using it because they lacked the ability to get it up. They used it instead because the little blue penis helping pill helps deliver PED’s to the bloodstream.

Victor Conte, BALCO buzzard extraordinare, said that “All my athletes took it. It’s bigger than creatine. It’s the biggest product in nutritional supplements.” Wow. To say that you saw this coming — the possibility of an erectile dysfunction drug being one of the primary steroid enhancers — you would be lying. And probably need to see your doctor if the delusion lasts more than four hours.

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