The Golden State Warriors wanted to make their third championship parade of this era more interactive Tuesday.
Suffice it to say, they got the job done.
There were crowd Henny sips. There were champagne sprays. There were sprints into the crowd. There was everything that was Swaggy P and trolling LeBron James and basically everything you could possibly want in a celebration.
In essence: The Warriors are as good at parading at this point as they are at playing basketball.
*takes a deep breath*
OK, so where to begin.
Let's start with the Battle of the Littest between Nick "Swag Champ" Young and Jordan Bell. Because—*takes another deep breath*—it was more of a battle than the entire NBA Finals.
The day started with Mr. Swag Champ himself showing up in a bathrobe, setting the tone for an afternoon of hilarity.
Then he plowed his way into the crowd, holding up a fake championship trophy and embracing the massive group of fans on hand:
That was followed by him taking his shirt all the way off. Which was followed by JaVale McGee taking his shirt off. Which was followed by Swag Champ and McGee—excuse me, Pierre Two Times—giving out a sensationally "beyond lit" interview:
Jordan Bell? Well he didn't give himself a nickname. But that dude was on top of the world.
For all his trying, Swag Champ could not top Bell's complete enthusiasm for getting as drunk as humanly possible during the parade. The funniest moment of the whole afternoon came when Bell ran out of Henny, found someone in the crowd with Henny and then proceeded to drink said Henny.
OK, as for the non-first-time champs. Having won three titles in the last four years, you can understand Steph Curry, Draymond Green and Klay Thompson taking a bit of a backseat to the more enthusiastic role players.
Green, who was the star of the first two Warriors parades, was almost disappointingly subdued. He stayed in his bus for almost the entirety of his ride as the final Warrior in the parade, sticking with his family and drinking out of his red cup.
When Green did get off the bus, though, he made the most of his time and threw shade all over Tristan Thompson.
Draymond also continued his trend of throwing shade directly at LeBron James:
Curry fully embraced the fan interaction portion of the program, slapping hands and engulfing himself in the Bay during the celebration. He also gave his daughter Riley some time with the Larry O'Brien Trophy.
Klay and Finals MVP Kevin Durant were a bit more subdued, though they did give us a couple of moments of unintentional comedy. Thompson led the crowd in "sweep" chants and broke out his dance moves when spraying champagne.
Durant, meanwhile...had a bit more trouble with his bottle popping.
Intentional comedy. Unintentional comedy. Unabashed drunkenness. It was nothing short of a perfect parade for a team that ran through the Cleveland Cavaliers a perfect 4-0 in these Finals.