Charlie Weis Prepares for USC, Deals with Trojan Scumbag Mocking His Daughter

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish will host the University of Southern California (USC) Trojans Saturday afternoon in South Bend.

Notre Dame (4-1) currently has a seven-game losing streak to USC (4-1) and has been humiliated by the Trojans in the teams' last two contests by a combined score of 76-3.

“I think that our university really, really could use this win,” Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis said in the understatement of this millennium.

The portly Weis, 53, who was given $40 million and a five-year contract to coach the Irish, has been roundly criticized for the ineptitude he has displayed on the sidelines since he was hired by Notre Dame in 2004.

Weis, whose Irish are currently ranked No. 25 in the nation, lost a school record 15 games over a span of two seasons in 2007 and 2008 and has been defeated in his last six consecutive contests against top-10 teams.

“USC is one of the best teams in the country,” Weis acknowledged. “They’ve beaten us seven times in a row. Some of them have been ugly. So I think winning this week would do wonders for my spirits. But it wouldn’t just be my spirits; it would be everyone affiliated with Notre Dame.”

The Trojans are presently the No. 6 team in the country and are 10.5-point favorites this weekend to again slaughter the Irish.

If Notre Dame somehow manages to trump USC and improve its record to 5-1, it will skyrocket in the upcoming polls.

On the flip side, if Notre Dame again succumbs to the Trojans and descends to 4-2, Weis and the Irish can ill afford to lose another game for the remainder of this regular season.

Considering that Notre Dame has been afforded with a uniquely easy schedule this year, it would be unacceptable for Weis to allow his team to squander three games before the bowl season even begins.

Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen is the one player who can most ensure that the Irish complete their 2009 campaign with fewer than three defeats.

Clausen, 22, leads the nation in passing efficiency and he has thrown for 12 touchdowns and 1,544 yards to date.

At this juncture, Clausen deserves to be awarded the Heisman Trophy as much as anyone else on the collegiate gridiron.

“I think he’s had a heck of a year,” Weis said of his much-ballyhooed 2007 recruit. “I mean, you look at what he’s done through these first five games, there couldn’t be anyone in the country playing better than him.”

Saturday Clausen will encounter a Trojan defense that has not conceded a scoring pass to date through five games.

“He (Clausen) is going against the best defense that he’s seen all year long,” Weis said. “He’ll be judged by what he does against USC.”

If Clausen is able to dissect the Trojans defense, it is a virtual guarantee that he will forgo his senior year and declare himself eligible for the 2010 NFL Draft in the spring.

“It feels great this year knowing that whenever we get the ball, we can make plays,” Clausen said. “If we don’t score, we at least get three points.”

Life at Notre Dame hasn’t always been quite so rosy for the former star signal-caller at Oaks Christian High School in Westlake Village, Calif.

Clausen, who never lost a football game he started in his prep career (42-0) and also holds California state records for career touchdowns (146), was an absolute mid-air collision in his first two seasons behind center for the Irish.

“It’s different coming from high school into college,” admitted Clausen, who was named the “Offensive Player of the Year” by USA Today as a senior in high school in 2006.

“You think you’re good and you think you can step right in and play, but it’s just something that’s extremely tough and something I’ve had to work on to get to this point. It’s taken me two, three years to get to this point, and I’m just handling myself like I did when I was a veteran in high school. I know everything now; I know the offense. I know how to handle myself on the field, off the field, and handle my teammates and be a leader and a captain of the team. It’s just something I’ve had to evolve into being here at Notre Dame.”

Clausen has evolved to such a degree that it is feasible that the Irish, despite their porous defense, could beat USC this weekend in an offensive shootout.

A Notre Dame victory over USC would elate Weis on both a professional and personal level.

It was recently revealed by Weis that a malignant and worthless scumbag who cheers for USC sent him a hat that reads “USC owns Notre Dame.”

The “present” was accompanied by a note that mocked Weis’ daughter, Hannah, who suffers from global development delays.

“With the cap came a letter from somebody with a very derogatory comment toward my daughter. So until we win a game, I’ll hold onto that cap,” said Weis, who added that the hat is prominently displayed in his office.

“When we’ve won a game, that cap won’t be around anymore. It’s kind of a refresher for me, and rather than share the derogatory comment, I’d like to just keep that private.”

The individual who sent Weis that message should be tarred and feathered in front of Touchdown Jesus.

Sadly, such a circumstance likely won’t occur.

“This year, I think our players believe they are going to win,” said Weis.

However, an Irish trouncing of the Trojans would suffice just fine instead.