5 PPV Name Suggestions Better Than WWE Great Balls of Fire

Great Balls of Fire.

One can only assume Vince McMahon was jamming out to some Jerry Lee Lewis when he conceived the name of the upcoming July 9 pay-per-view event from Dallas. After all, that phrase has not been popular, hip or otherwise relevant since the 1960s.

For a company almost always a step (or 12) behind popular culture, though, the name is almost fitting.

Still, for a show headlined by what should be an extraordinarily intense war between two legitimate badasses in Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar, Great Balls of Fire seems a bit...unfitting.

Perhaps the show would benefit from one of these gems, instead.

The Man Comes Around

Brock Lesnar rarely comes around.

Like, super rarely.

Sticking with the song theme, why not pay some royalties to the Johnny Cash estate for "The Man Comes Around?"

It's a menacing, if not melodic, song that could very easily serve as a warning to Samoa Joe and the rest of the WWE locker room that Lesnar is coming on July 9 and that means very bad things for anyone who opposes him.

Leaving out the religion at the core of the song and taking the words at face value, it would seem the perfect way to make an otherwise uneventful show seem that much more significant with the impending return of The Beast Incarnate.

Here Comes The Pain

Brock Lesnar's original catchphrase was the tagline for a SmackDown series video game way back in 2003 but has never been used for a pay-per-view title.

Considering Lesnar is back, and his match with Joe is sure to bring all kinds of pain, it is fitting.

At its core, Great Balls of Fire is a show that is a vehicle for Lesnar. The universal champion is the top star on the Raw brand and his return to the ring instantly elevates the significance of the show.

Booking the entire show around him, including the name, is not an entirely terrible idea.

Malice In Dallas

If we are really going the hokey route with the name of this pay-per-view, go all-in. Rhymes, a 1970s feel to it and a play on the host city are absolutely necessary. 

"Malice" fits the tone of the show, especially given the main event of Lesnar vs. Joe and the Ambulance match in which Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman will bring their long-running rivalry to a conclusion.

A cartoon graphic depicting two cowboys squaring up for a fight in front of an old saloon and the promise of entirely over-the-top homages to the Lone Star State would give the show personality if nothing else.

Painus In Uranus

Thanks to The Rock and an epic, pre-Armageddon 2000 promo for this one.

Zero percent chance of happening, 99.4 percent guarantee of a laugh or 12.

Great American Bash, Fully Loaded, Bash At The Beach, etc.

All kidding aside, why did WWE forego one of numerous classic wrestling show names it already owns the rights to for a laughter-inducing (not for the good reasons) name of a song only a small portion of the audience is even old enough to remember?

A very small portion.

Like, minute.

Great American Bash, despite being a name that was not drummed up by Vince McMahon and his stooges in some office in Connecticut is still, without a shadow of doubt, one of the greatest and most recognizable event names in wrestling history. Throwing a red, white and blue scheme together and bringing back some of the cheesy all-American gimmicks from the mid-2000s incarnations of the event would surely have introduced some fun to the broadcast.

Ditto for Bash at the Beach, an event synonymous with World Championship Wrestling but has been gone long enough for WWE to dust it off and recreate it to great nostalgia and success.

One of the better shows from 1998 through 2000 was Fully Loaded, an event that played up immature undertones during the height of the Attitude Era but also could be re-established as Raw's answer to Battleground.

Both have war themes and could play up the intense disdain the Superstars have for each other leading to heading grudge matches.

There are a wealth of options at WWE's disposal without McMahon having to fire up a Walkman (because you know he doesn't have an iPod) and seek out Jerry Lewis tunes for his next pay-per-view offering.