Maradona: "I'll Quit Argentina If Conditions Aren't Met."

Just 72 hours before a pair of crucial must-win matches against hapless Peru and a desperate Uruguay, Argentine icon and embattled manager Diego Maradona played another round of ridiculous head games, threatening to quit the national team unless "certain conditions aren't met."

"There are things that I didn't like and to continue my conditions will have to be met," insisted Maradona. So what are those conditions, Diego? That the AFA continue to stroke your out-of-control ego while you recklessly hurtle the national team into the very real possibility of missing out on the World Cup for the first time since 1970?

Great. Argentina clearly needs two positive results in order to avoid the embarrassment of not qualifying for South Africa. So what's El Diego doing to get his squad motivated for two of their most important matches of the year? He's dispensing ultimatums, seeming more fixated on his future as a clueless head coach than ensure Argentina gain much-needed results.

This week's excursion into the paranoid delusions of Maradona now involve him picking a fight with Carlos Bilardo, no less, the man who guided Maradona and the Albicelestes to a memorable World Cup triumph in Mexico 1986. It's no secret Maradona and Bilardo do not get along, primarily because Maradona disapproves of the AFA's insistence that Bilardo serve under Maradona as a "technical advisor." Maradona's ego clearly chafes at the notion that he must look to someone like Bilardo, obviously experienced as a coach and tactician, qualities Maradona simply lacks.

Maradona's beef stems from Bilardo's "inability" to prevent Carlos Tevez and Pablo Zabaleta from playing for Manchester City before the crucial World Cup qualifiers. What is Bilardo supposed to do, put a gun to Mark Hughes' head, or threaten to kill Man City's billionaire owners, if they field Tevez and Zabaleta? Of course, Maradona has every right to be upset over Zabaleta's injury he suffered during City's draw against Aston Villa, but, come on! Blaming Bilardo for Zabaleta's injury is just childish.

And it's these kinds of childish displays that have so far epitomized Maradona's rocky reign as Argentina's manager. From his skirmishes with the Argentine media to his idiotic assumption that only local talent (read: anyone who plays for Boca Juniors) have any real desire to play for the national team, to his running off stellar playmaker Juan Roman Riquelme from the squad, to his refusal to consider (until now) real-deal talent like Gonzalo Higuain, to his calling up a whopping 72 players to the squad have only served to shed negative light onto what was the worst fears of every Argentine everywhere: Maradona's elevation to the highest post was clearly a publicity stunt, and not based on any real assumption of tactical skill or imagination. He's more concerned with playing needless mind games.

Case in point: Rather than field the best team for that key showdown against Brazil last month, he pitches a major hissy fit over where the match should be played. He strong-armed the AFA to relocate the match versus Brazil to Rosario—to the smaller, more intimate Gigante de Arroyito—because he deemed the pitch at El Monumental (the official national stadium, which also happens to be the home pitch for Boca's hated rivals River Plate) to be inferior.

That kind of weak chess move bit Maradona in the rear, along with his questionable on-field choices against Brazil. Yes, Argentina fielded more scoring chances, but when Brazil converts three goals on four scoring opportunities, it doesn't take a genius to figure out how and where Brazil took advantage of Argentina's defensive weaknesses.

Most distressingly, is Maradona's inability to unleash superstar Lionel Messi. The heir apparent to Maradona's legend has been stifled by his manager's lack of tactical acumen. The hot-and-heavy rumor that circulated a few weeks' back regarding the AFA openly courting Barcelona's Pep Guardiola for the Argentine top spot, in the hopes that the Barcelona coach can put together a game plan that emphasizes his Blaugrana's top scorer shouldn't have come as a surprise. Desperate, yes. Surprising, no.

The best that Argentina can hope for is a crushing and comfortable defeat against Peru and a draw against Uruguay in Montevideo. If the cards fall right, meaning that Argentina beat both Peru and Uruguay, Los Albicelestes may end up fourth, and automatically qualify for South Africa. If they end up fifth, which is likely, they'll face off against the fourth-place CONCACAF seed, likely Costa Rica. Even in a playoff spot, Argentina should beat any of the CONCACAF teams and earn their spot for the World Cup. But it's the concept of having to face a playoff against a team like Costa Rica that's giving all of Argentina a massive case of out-of-control nerves. La Seleccion should never have been in that position in the first place.

Once Argentina does qualify, and they will, Maradona should do the right thing and offer his resignation. No more head games. No more questionable call-ups. No more ridiculous spats against players, coaches and the media. Clearly, El Diego should have never been offered the head post. Even more clearly, Diego should not have the right to coach Argentina in the World Cup.

So if you're going to quit, Diego, quit. Argentina won't cry for you.