The Celtics: Bartered Bastards of Boston

They don't stand a chance.

They were put together as an instant 'ready-made' team. They are playing together in the play-offs for the very first time. They don't have a consistent go-to guy. Their offense has been inconsistent. They don't close out games well. Their second year point guard is inconsistent. They have a center you throw a party for when he pulls down 10 rebounds. Their bench has been a model of futility, with a rare good performance here and there.

They struggled with Atlanta, a 37-45 team in the weak East. They struggled with a one man team, the Lebron-aliers. They played poorly in portions of games against Detroit.

They are facing Kobe Bryant, the best offensive machine and player in the game today.

Like 1944, they are massing at the (G)Ardenne(s).

They are on Boston's very doorstep. The Lakers have sliced through the very tough Western Conference playoff competition like a hot knife through butter. To wit: 4-0 against the 50-32 Denver Nuggets, 4-2 against the 54-28 Utah Jazz, 4-1 against the 56-26 defending champion San Antonio Spurs. They boldly snatched away games at both Utah and San Antonio, two teams that lost 11 games combined at home all season.

If ever there was a Generals (coaching) mismatch, this is it. Phil Jackson is tied with Red Auerbach for the most titles ever. He’s facing  a guy named Doc Rivers, who got coach of the year for playing .500 ball.

Though the outcomes are enormously different, we live in a world where sports and war often use each other for analogy.

My message board buddies let it be known that nine out of 10 “experts” picked the Lakers to win the NBA Title this year. Nine out of 10. That many experts don't even agree water is wet. They're almost unanimously sure about who is winning this year's NBA Title.

The league's best 66 win regular season be damned! This is the play-offs pal. 66 wins and a needle and thread will sew that hole in your sock.

The Celtics multiple series of drawn out play-off battles has not impressed the pundits. The seemingly unimpressive March through Atlanta, the ever-so narrow victory over King James in the Surrender of Cleveland and the early Destruction of Detroit did not register high enough on the Champion meter for anyone to think they can beat back the approaching Laker juggernaut. The Purple and Gold Are Coming! The Purple and Gold Are Coming! Run for your lives.

Like the Battered Bastards of Bastogne, call them the 'Bartered Bastards of Boston'.

Like Easy Company of the 101st Airborne Division, the Celtics are being sent in by the Eastern Conference Allies to stop the devastating march by a rampaging Lakers' team that three strong western conference teams were decimated by.

Like the Allies 'opponent' in 1944, the Lakers regrouped, and renewed their efforts this year. They struck out with force, speed, surprise, precision attacks and heavy artillery. Their offense is awesome. Only one thing stands in their way on the push to the title. Welcome to the Eastern Front.

Memphis' Chris Wallace made the trade that made everyone forget about McHale's handing over the family jewel to the Celtics. Until then, the Lakers were merely a bump in the road to this year's Finals. Enter Pau Gasol. That theft 'Gasoled' them up for a title run.

The Lakers went from a pretty good, middle of the road team to being a very dangerous opponent. Gasol Vulcanized that team in a way that many did not predict.

Only one writer has the Celtics being able to delay their own death until the 7th game. Not a single prognosticator thinks Boston will beat LA. Oh yeah, one does. Like Winston Churchill, Tim Legler stands alone in saying that the Celtics will win the battle against their opponent. Way to go, Tim.

What the Germans didn't know in 1944, and what the Lakers and the current pundits don't know now is..... who they are about to fight.

The 101st had been in every major battle of the war since D-Day. They were used to going in against the toughest Germany had to offer, and often against overwhelming odds.

The Celtics have beaten every team in the league on their own courts. They swept the Texas triangle and narrowly lost to New Orleans to end the trip. They have won without Ray Allen playing well. They have won without Paul Pierce playing well. They have won without strong bench support. They have won without consistent point guard play. They have won while having key players in foul trouble. They have won two game sevens. They have beaten arguably the 2nd best team in the league, Detroit, twice on their own court, the vaunted Palace of Auburn Hills. They beat them in 6 games. They were underdogs by most pundits in that series as well.

When the 101 Airborne Division was called in to stop the march of the Germans in the Ardennes in Belgium, they knew they were short of ammo and guns. Other soldiers were literally running the other way in retreat and told them to do the same. "Run! They'll kill you all!” they cried. The 101 Airborne said “give me your gun and ammo if you're going the other way.”

In a short time they were completely surrounded in a small town named Bastogne.

When they were told they were surrounded by the enemy, they had the audacity, or perhaps the assured confidence to say, "Good. We've got them right were we want them."

The Celtics are moving to the front to fight an opponent where others have failed miserably and no one thinks the Celtics can beat. Like a Band of Brothers, the Boston Celtics have melded since training camp, and been through an awful lot.

The Boston Celtics have them right where they want them.