NFL Report Cards: Team-by-Team Grades for Week 6
The NFL's undefeated teams looked vulnerable Sunday. Yes, even the Patriots. Yet they all remained undefeated; only the Falcons fell off the pace, and that happened Thursday night.
There is nothing wrong with looking a little vulnerable; it's all a matter of how you respond to the challenge. The Packers produced red-zone stops when they couldn't get a stop anywhere else. The Panthers looked into the heart of the Legion of Boom and found Greg Olsen wide-open.
The Broncos leaned on their defense and kicker yet again but also found hope in the form of a functioning running game. The Patriots tuned out a noisy crowd and chatter about "revenge" and went about their business.
The Bengals? They didn't look all that vulnerable.
The weekly report cards are about more than just the final score, however, and the undefeated teams don't walk away with straight A's this week. Even those with glowing grades will find some unfamiliar faces around them in the honors class.
Reminder: These are the weekly report cards, not the power rankings. Every week is a clean slate. The season-long report card is in the final slide.
Cincinnati Bengals: A
1 of 29
This Week's Result: Bengals 34, Bills 21
Offense (A): Marvin Jones (9-95-1) is the most underappreciated receiver in the NFL, a deep threat who adjusts to bad balls and concentrates to haul in tough passes. The Bengals' red-zone strategies remain exceptional; only the Patriots can match them when it comes to varying concepts and pinpointing mismatches. This week's signature red-zone wrinkle was motioning Tyler Eifert wide right so he was covered by a smaller defender, then tossing a touchdown to his back shoulder.
Defense (B): The pass rush was held to two sacks, and the run defense was porous early: LeSean McCoy had 61 first-half yards. Overall, however, the Bengals defense provided plenty of stops and looked better on paper before some meaningless late Bills drives.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): Adam Jones was a factor on returns: A long punt return that ended with a facemask penalty set up an early Bengals touchdown. Mike Nugent made two field goals. The offensive game plan was smooth and assured, with everyone getting a touch and the Bills unable to play that attacking style of defense they always seem to be ranting about.
Looking Ahead: A bye week. The Bengals will enter November undefeated!
New York Jets: A
2 of 29
This Week's Result: Jets 34, Redskins 20
Offense (A): The Jets combined for 221 rushing yards. Ryan Fitzpatrick threw just seven incomplete passes and was not sacked. Only a pair of fumbles at the ends of receptions kept the Jets from scoring well over 40 points and earning a full A-plus.
Defense (A+): The Redskins couldn't run the ball or throw downfield. They did not have a drive longer than 40 yards until garbage time.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Nick Folk missed a makeable field goal. The Redskins' blocked punt had minimal impact, but blocked punts are never good. Other than a handful of mistakes, the Jets were in complete control of the game all afternoon.
Looking Ahead: A trip to Foxborough. The Jets look good enough to make it interesting.
New England Patriots: A-
3 of 29
This Week's Result: Patriots 34, Colts 27
Offense (B+): Raggedy by the Patriots' exacting standards: a pick-six, a few glitches in the redesigned pass-protection matrix, three-and-outs during the traditional run up the score to 54 portion of the game. On the other hand, about 29 other NFL franchises would give the stadium naming rights to a nonprofit organization in exchange for a weekly performance like this one.
Defense (B+): It bent pretty far but didn't quite break in the first half. The defense clamped down with three sacks and some clutch stops in the second half.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): There was a lot of cute talk about the Patriots wanting to score 98 points against the Colts to avenge Deflategate. A team on some pointless quest to humiliate its opponent would have lost Sunday night; the early mistakes would have gotten inside their swelled heads. The team that calmly went about its business and didn't start pressing after every miscue pulled away in the second half.
Looking Ahead: The Jets provide the Patriots with their toughest test of the season. Yes, that's saying something.
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Pittsburgh Steelers: A-
4 of 29
This Week's Result: Steelers 25, Cardinals 13
Offense (C+): The Steelers threw for exactly one passing yard in the first half. Landry Jones' arrival perked things up a bit, but the Steelers' second-half offense still consisted of one 88-yard Martavis Bryant video game highlight, a short drive after a turnover and lots of off-tackle plunges by Le'Veon Bell.
Defense (A): It produced three turnovers, forced two fumbles the Cardinals managed to pounce on and held the running game to 55 yards and 2.8 yards per carry.
Special Teams/Coaching (A+): The coaches always deserve a nod when a third-string quarterback plays well enough to engineer a win, let alone a comeback win against a quality opponent. No one would have been surprised if offensive coordinator Todd Haley switched to all-Bell Wildcat dives when Jones entered the game. The Cardinals certainly looked surprised that he didn't.
Looking Ahead: The Steelers may have no idea who their quarterback is, but the Chiefs have no idea who their quarterback will hand off or throw to.
Miami Dolphins: A-
5 of 29
This Week's Result: Dolphins 38, Titans 10
Offense (B+): The Dolphins spread the ball around and used misdirection to take control of the game early, then enjoyed some garbage-time production late. A pair of Ryan Tannehill interceptions while the game was still competitive served as a reminder that not all problems have been solved.
Defense (A): Cameron Wake took over the game with four sacks and two forced fumbles. Reshad Jones provided a pick-six. This was the overpowering Dolphins defense we were expecting this season.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): The Jarvis Landry end-around and some Tannehill-designed runs, plus some other plays (Lamar Miller ran some outside zone from shotgun), looked suspiciously like Bill Lazor wrinkles that former head coach Joe Philbin never let him use on offense.
The defense appeared to respond well to the coaching changes, but Olivier Vernon got flagged twice for roughing the passer. One of the fouls was a little tacky, but the other should result in a fine. It will take a few weeks to determine if interim head coach Dan Campbell has made the Dolphins hard-nosed or just ticked off.
Looking Ahead: The Dolphins host the Texans; the winner gets to claim it has turned the season around.
Houston Texans: B+
6 of 29
This Week's Result: Texans 31, Jaguars 20
Offense (A-): Brian Hoyer looked excellent. Type that sentence into an Internet translator, change it to Russian or Icelandic, then convert it back to English, and it will read "Jaguars head coach Gus Bradley is going to be fired."
Defense (B): The Jaguars moved the ball fairly well early, but Andre Hal intercepted a pass at the goal line before halftime to kill a scoring opportunity. Hal added a pick-six to turn the game into a rout. In between, Whitney Mercilus recorded two sacks, and Brian Cushing (nine solo tackles) made sure the Jaguars running game was a non-factor.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Head coach Bill O'Brien has taken a lot of heat over the past few weeks, and beating the Jaguars doesn't get him any Coach of the Millennium trophies. But the Texans won a game in which an illness made J.J. Watt ordinary and the offense had to compensate for the defense for a change. That's a sign of progress.
Looking Ahead: The Dolphins weren't about to roll over and quit this week. Let's see if they're about to roll over and quit next week.
Carolina Panthers: B+
7 of 29
This Week's Result: Panthers 27, Seahawks 23
Offense (B-): Cam Newton was terrible early: 4-of-12 in the first half and two interceptions to help the Seahawks take control of the game. Then Greg Olsen (7-131-1) helped Newton regain control in the second half.
Not seen on the highlight reel: The offensive line helped the Panthers grind away at the Seahawks with pistol formations and interior runs, and everyone from Ed Dickson to Fozzy Whittaker contributed a third-down conversion when the Panthers needed to keep the game in reach.
Defense (B): Luke Kuechly (14 total tackles) kept Marshawn Lynch in check with the help of Kawann Short (two sacks, lots of double-teams) and the defensive line. Other than the double pass and some productive early plays, the Seahawks were forced to generate most of their offense through scrambling. Just because that is a typical Seahawks problem doesn't mean the Panthers deserve any less credit.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): The decision to challenge the Legion of Boom instead of settling for a field goal in the fourth quarter was brilliant. Head coach Ron Rivera and his staff only got into that position because they managed the clock well, avoided penalties (just five) that would have crippled their station-to-station offense and made sure every red-zone appearance resulted in a touchdown.
Looking Ahead: The Eagles on Sunday night. The NFL's quietest good team faces its loudest mediocre team.
New Orleans Saints: B+
8 of 29
This Week's Result: Saints 31, Falcons 21
Offense (B): Drew Brees found all the gaps in the Falcons' underneath coverage, connecting with tight ends Benjamin Watson and Josh Hill for 13-165-1. The blocking got shaky when third-string tackle Tony Hills entered the game, but Brees and the rest of the offense compensated well.
Defense (B-): Defensive coordinator Rob Ryan wants you to know that his awesome scheming forced the Falcons to snap the ball incorrectly and bump into each other in the backfield on 4th-and-1 (and that he's also a part-time special teams coach, no matter what Greg McMahon's business card says). Ryan benefited from many unforced Falcons blunders in the first half but also generated plenty of pressure and stymied the Falcons passing game in the second half.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): McMahon gets a shout-out for the nifty stunt rushing that led to Michael Mauti's blocked punt. The Saints committed just three penalties and played the way a veteran team should against a divisional rival.
Looking Ahead: Saints-Colts. Super Bowl grudge match. Battle Royal of embattled coaching staffs.
Green Bay Packers: B
9 of 29
This Week's Result: Packers 27, Chargers 20
Offense (C+): Another week, another set of injuries. Eddie Lacy barely played because of a nagging ankle injury. Ty Montgomery left the game early. James Starks (112 rushing yards, two total touchdowns) provided another fine supporting performance off the bench, but Aaron Rodgers is starting to run out of things he can do when Jeff Janis and Justin Perillo are receiving regular playing time and targets.
Defense (C): The Chargers threw for 503 yards and controlled the clock for 38 minutes. Every Chargers drive seemed to start with a pair of receptions that moved the ball 25 yards or so downfield. Even after rewatching the game, it's hard to figure out how the Packers held the Chargers to 20 points. Yes, red-zone stops were a huge part of it, but it felt like two Chargers touchdowns were secretly erased from the tape or something.
Special Teams/Coaching (A): Field position, field position, field position! The average Chargers drive started on the 18-yard line thanks to some Mason Crosby touchbacks, consistent Tim Masthay punts and great coverage on Jacoby Jones' sometimes ill-advised return attempts. On a day when the Packers needed tiny advantages and clutch performances from role players, they got them.
Looking Ahead: Two weeks in the whirlpool and the trainer's office, guys—the bye week has arrived.
Philadelphia Eagles: B
10 of 29
This Week's Result: Eagles 27, Giants 7
Offense (C+): Inconsistent but dangerous. Sam Bradford still skips too many throws to open receivers, and the Eagles can go three-and-out in the time it takes to check your phone. But DeMarco Murray (109 rushing yards, one TD) is starting to figure out how head coach Chip Kelly's blocking scheme works, and Riley Cooper slowed down to haul in a pair of Bradford under-bombs, one of them for a touchdown.
Defense (A): The front four controlled the line of scrimmage and applied consistent pass rush. Byron Maxwell had to clutch and grab a little, but he held (heh-heh) Odell Beckham Jr. to just one early-game big play.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Eagles play calls still alternate between predictable and baffling, but uptempo tactics are starting to get defenders on their heels again—or on the ground, flopping for a clock stoppage.
Looking Ahead: An intriguing Sunday night matchup with the Panthers.
Detroit Lions: B
11 of 29
This Week's Result: Lions 37, Bears 34
Offense (A-): Completely bonkers. Calvin Johnson, Golden Tate and Lance Moore combined for 17-312-3 against a secondary that looked like it belonged in Conference USA. Matthew Stafford scrambled creatively and productively several times, which is something you don't see every Sunday.
A six-lineman wrinkle helped the running game produce some positive plays, though scrambles and a fake punt inflated the 155-yard rushing total. Take away an underhanded forward pitch for an interception by Stafford, and the game film would play like a fantasy for head coach Jim Caldwell.
Defense (C): It gave up too many easy receptions and yards after the catch and got sloppy in the fourth quarter. But the unit was also undermined by the Stafford interception and a muffed punt that gave the Bears great field position for two quick touchdowns.
Special Teams/Coaching (C+): A 30-yard fake punt run by Isa Abdul-Quddus was impressive. A muffed punt by T.J. Jones was nearly disastrous. The Lions were aided by an interception-turned-touchdown officiating call that was strange even by the standards of Lions touchdown calls.
The offense produced pinball numbers, but the Lions also kept squandering opportunities to take the Bears out of the game. It's hard to overflow with praise for Caldwell and his staff for beating a team with inferior talent in overtime with the help of a weird call.
Looking Ahead: The Lions hope to force a season split with the Vikings. Lance Moore is jealous and wants his own chance to inspire a new interpretation of the rulebook.
San Francisco 49ers: B
12 of 29
This Week's Result: 49ers 25, Ravens 20
Offense (B): It played efficient, "on-schedule" football for most of the game, mixing runs and passes on early downs to avoid 3rd-and-long and set up deep shots. Colin Kaepernick (340 passing yards, two TDs) is starting to look more like the budding star of 2012 than the guy who was slowly fading into oblivion at the start of the season.
Defense (B): The unit hid the weaknesses from the Ravens for the better part of three quarters. NaVorro Bowman and Michael Wilhoite combined for 24 solo tackles and an interception.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Geep Chryst has tweaked the offense for the better. Kaepernick looks much more comfortable, and the game plans are well-designed. Head coach Jim Tomsula's staff has blown the desperation stench off the franchise in the last two weeks, which is a first step toward being truly competitive.
Looking Ahead: Thursday night against the archrival Seahawks.
Denver Broncos: B-
13 of 29
This Week's Result: Broncos 26, Browns 23
Offense (C-): Ronnie Hillman and C.J. Anderson combined for 152 yards, so the "no running game" Peyton Manning excuse coupon is no longer valid. Demaryius Thomas (10-111-0) dropped some catchable balls, and Hillman bobbled an interception into Karlos Dansby's hands, so those count as semi-excuses. Manning's other two interceptions were just passes that defenders were able to make plays on. This pile of excuse coupons is getting mighty thin.
Defense (B+): Another week, another pick-six and plenty of late-game stops to prevent disaster, though the Broncos did suffer a handful of the kind of lapses a defense makes when it is forced to generate nonstop big plays to cover for the offense.
Special Teams/Coaching (C+): Brandon McManus missed a 51-yard field goal but made four others. The Broncos were terrible on third downs (4-of-18) and weak in the red zone (three field goals in three trips), issues that Manning and head coach Gary Kubiak will share as long as it's clear neither has the other's full confidence.
Looking Ahead: Peyton Manning is not going to Vegas on his bye week. His defense has already given him enough comps for the last month-and-a-half.
Minnesota Vikings: B-
14 of 29
This Week's Result: Vikings 16, Chiefs 10
Offense (D+): Adrian Peterson had one 23-yard run but averaged 1.5 yards per rush on his other carries. Peterson got hurt late in the game, and Matt Asiata (5-27) was actually more effective in clock-munching duties.
Teddy Bridgewater started the game well but committed a pair of dumb interceptions and started spraying the ball late in the game. Stefon Diggs (7-129-0) has come from nowhere to become a factor for a team whose top three projected receivers have been injured or quiet.
Defense (A-): It harassed Alex Smith all afternoon and shut down the Chiefs' wisp of a running game. The defense produced some clutch short-yardage stops in the red zone. It got sloppy late in the game, when stopping Travis Kelce should have completely stopped the Chiefs. But the weak offense was forcing the defense to play too perfectly in the fourth quarter.
Special Teams/Coaching (B): Blair Walsh has survived the Bubonic Kicker Plague: He connected on three short but critical field goals after spending all of training camp coughing up shanks. The Vikings really need a better Plan B when Peterson is ineffective. He carried 17 times for 16 yards in the first half, yet Asiata and Jerick McKinnon were each only given a token carry, and Bridgewater always seemed to be throwing on 2nd-and-10 or 3rd-and-16.
Looking Ahead: A rematch with the Lions should straighten Peterson out.
Cleveland Browns: C
15 of 29
This Week's Result: Broncos 26, Browns 23
Offense (C-): You live by the Josh McCown-to-Gary Barnidge connection, you die by the Josh McCown-to-Gary Barnidge connection. Barnidge caught two more touchdowns in his pursuit of Jerry Rice (Rice still leads by 189 touchdowns, but the gap is narrowing), but putting the ball in McCown's hands and telling him to beat the Broncos defense is getting carried away.
Defense (C-): Karlos Dansby (two interceptions, one touchdown) had perhaps the best game of his long and eventful career. Poor Pierre Desir had to cover Demaryius Thomas because of Joe Haden's injury and was lucky that Thomas dropped a few passes. The Browns pass rush recorded seven sacks against the Titans in Week 2 but three in their other five games and zero against the Broncos. Maybe Barnidge should play two ways.
Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Andy Lee and the punt and kick coverage teams forced the Broncos to start several drives around the 15-yard line. Both game plans made sense: When Barnidge is your touchdown machine and Desir is covering a Pro Bowl receiver, yet you force overtime against an undefeated team, you've coached a decent game.
Looking Ahead: The Rams, like the Broncos, have a tough defense and a turnover-prone quarterback. Yep, we just compared Peyton Manning to Nick Foles. The world is a crazy place.
San Diego Chargers: C
16 of 29
This Week's Result: Packers 27, Chargers 20
Offense (B): Philip Rivers could do whatever he wanted until he reached the Packers' 20-yard line, where he somehow switched from Tom Brady mode to Ryan Mallett mode. Keenan Allen (14-157-0), Antonio Gates (9-95-0) and Malcom Floyd (5-95-0) did everything but punch the ball in the end zone. Each running back got exactly seven carries, which each squandered in a different way. That sounds like a parable from the Bible.
Defense (C): It gave up three early scoring drives but played fairly well for the rest of the game against the depleted Packers offense. Another just-good-enough-to-get-beat effort.
Special Teams/Coaching (D+): Jacoby Jones' misadventures on punt and kick returns forced the Chargers to start too many drives around their 15-yard line. The Super Bowl was almost four years ago, Jacoby; stop bringing it out from seven yards deep. Now that the Chargers are relatively healthy, it's fair to ask why head coach Mike McCoy's team rarely puts together a complete game against a quality opponent.
Looking Ahead: The Raiders arrive. If Rivers throws for 600 yards, he doesn't have to move to Los Angeles.
Chicago Bears: C
17 of 29
This Week's Result: Lions 37, Bears 34
Offense (B-): The Bears offense was the healthiest it has been all season, and Jay Cutler seemed happy to deliver bombs to Alshon Jeffery (8-147-1) and tunnel screens to Eddie Royal (5-49-0) while the Josh Bellamy types watched from the sideline. The Bears made eight trips to the red zone but settled for four field goals and a Cutler interception to go with three touchdowns; 27-yard field goals will break your heart in a shootout.
Defense (D): Harold Jones-Quartey, an undrafted free agent from the proud Scandinavian nation of Finland—oops, from Findlay, a small private university in Ohio—was pressed into service at safety. Jones-Quartey was a disaster; he can be seen guarding nobody in the back corner of the end zone during Lance Moore's touchdown. But he has the excuse of being an undrafted rookie from a small college.
Tracy Porter, Sherrick McManis and others were pretty terrible, and they have been around the NFL for a while. Long story short, it was really cruel of the officials to turn one of the few positive plays by the Bears secondary from an interception into a touchdown.
Special Teams/Coaching (C): Robbie Gould kept hitting those short field goals. This entire game was cuckoo bananas, and while the Bears deserve credit for a late comeback to force overtime and all that jazz, this was really just a pair of bad teams bumping into each other until one of them fell over.
Looking Ahead: Bye week. Did you know Findlay University is known for its equestrian program? Maybe the Bears secondary should ride on horseback...
Atlanta Falcons: C-
18 of 29
This Week's Result: Saints 31, Falcons 21
Offense (C): The Falcons gained 265 yards in the first half but ended their drives with fumbles and fourth-down bumbles. The pass protection buckled when the Falcons were forced to abandon the run in the fourth quarter.
Defense (C): The Falcons don't have much of a pass rush and paid the price against the Saints. They got a few hits on Drew Brees when left tackle Andrus Peat left the game, but Brees often had too much time to throw in the second half.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): The blocked punt changed the course of the game. That play, a fumbled snap that killed a promising drive, and several other bobbles and mistakes were composure errors by a young team playing in a hostile environment, so we're laying them at the feet of the coaches.
While the Falcons played from behind throughout their winning streak, this was the first time they had to abandon the run completely and rely on defensive big plays late in the game. The Falcons line is not the same without a run threat, and their defense lacks the top-end talent to produce many big plays.
Looking Ahead: A trip to Tennessee kicks off another relatively easy stretch of a relatively easy schedule.
Kansas City Chiefs: C-
19 of 29
This Week's Result: Vikings 16, Chiefs 10
Offense (D): If you expected head coach Andy Reid to forfeit immediately when Jeremy Maclin left the game, you were wrong! If you expected Reid to order Travis Kelce to play quarterback and throw passes to himself, you were close, but still wrong!
The Chiefs engineered a touchdown drive out of passes to James O'Shaughnessy, Chris Conley and Albert Wilson, which was the least Chiefs thing they have done all year. Unfortunately, it was 13-0 in the fourth quarter before Reid decided to give the rookies and the ostensive No. 2 receiver some opportunities.
Defense (A-): The run defense rendered Adrian Peterson ineffective all day. Marcus Peters and Ron Parker provided clutch interceptions. Teddy Bridgewater was able to make some big third-down throws early, but the Chiefs defense clamped down when it realized it was completely on its own, not mostly on its own like most Sundays.
Special Teams/Coaching (C-): The Chiefs started nearly every one of their first-half drives with a holding penalty: If you think their Jamaal Charles-less offense is sad in normal circumstances, it will make you cry on 1st-and-20.
Reid's mental block about using secondary weapons had better crumble soon, especially if Maclin misses any time. Maybe watching Stefon Diggs, Jarius Wright and Matt Asiata come through in tough situations for the Vikings reminded Reid that he used to manufacture playoff offenses around Todd Pinkston.
Looking Ahead: The Chiefs host the Steelers and their three-headed quarterback mystery.
Arizona Cardinals: C-
20 of 29
This Week's Result: Steelers 25, Cardinals 13
Offense (C): The offense kept stalling or turning the ball over around midfield. Chris Johnson looked less like the guy from 2007 and more like the guy we have seen for the last four years. The Cardinals offense looks very different when it isn't playing with a two-touchdown lead for three quarters.
Defense (C+): It shut the Steelers completely down in the first half, then gave up a short touchdown drive to Landry Jones and began suffering a case of "gotta be perfect" because the offense was struggling. The Cardinals defense looks very different when the opponent doesn't straight-up spot them a few early turnovers.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Cardinals committed nine penalties for 111 yards, with lots of roughness fouls in that mix. The lack of adjustment to Jones was troubling; if the Cardinals are who they claim to be, they should be able to force some sacks or turnovers when a third-stringer enters the game.
Looking Ahead: The Ravens travel to Arizona, giving the Cardinals another mistake-prone opponent to feast upon.
Seattle Seahawks: C-
21 of 29
This Week's Result: Panthers 27, Seahawks 23
Offense (C+): Marshawn Lynch is back, and Jimmy Graham (8-140-0) has figured out that no one will gripe about his blocking as long as he races to the right sideline to catch passes at the end of Russell Wilson scrambles. The Seahawks offense looks a little more like it did last year, red-zone sacks and all.
Defense (C): Blown coverage assignments like the one that led to Greg Olsen's game-winning touchdown happen to even the best defenses. But a lot of guys named Jerricho Cotchery, Fozzy Whittaker and Corey Brown made meaningful receptions in the second half to get Olsen into position to win the game.
The Seahawks also had some trouble with the Panthers' simple running plays coated with read-option gingerbread, which is not something that should happen to a defense that practices against Russell Wilson and earned part of its reputation by beating the Jim Harbaugh 49ers.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Seahawks now have no idea how to close out a game on either side of the ball.
Looking Ahead: Kam Chancellor and Richard Sherman are already bickering about who gets the blame if they lose to the 49ers.
Indianapolis Colts: D+
22 of 29
This Week's Result: Patriots 34, Colts 27
Offense (C): The offense delivered a slightly above-average performance when a brilliant one was needed.
Defense (C): Like the offense, the defense produced some big plays in the first half. Then the Colts played the second half like they hoped everyone was watching how good they were early and knew what a moral victory it was to be playing so hard against the Patriots after getting hammered so many times in the past.
Special Teams/Coaching (F): I close my eyes, and all I see is that Griff Whalen/Colt Anderson Laurel and Hardy routine of a fake punt. It's seared into my retinas. It must be what Tony Stark saw when he flew that nuclear missile into the wormhole in The Avengers.
That fake punt gave me PTSD. It will probably ruin football for me for the next month or so. It was a case of a coaching staff overengineering a solution to a problem that didn't exist while putting several players in situations they were clearly uncomfortable with. If head coach Chuck Pagano is fired at the end of the season, that fake punt will play in an endless loop in the television coverage.
Looking Ahead: The Saints arrive. Another chance to exorcise playoff demons...or ensure they keep on haunting.
Baltimore Ravens: D+
23 of 29
This Week's Result: 49ers 25, Ravens 20
Offense (C-): Meh.
Defense (D+): Meh.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): Does this slide read like it is going through the motions? The Ravens play like they are going through the motions! Even ugly road Ravens games used to have a tone: sacks by the defense, a 60-yard Joe Flacco bomb or two, a sense the Ravens were purposely forcing a low-scoring sludgefest they could win with a big play and/or long field goal at the end.
The 2015 Ravens start flat, wake up for a little while, then fade at the end. Against other opponents, they could blame injuries, but they faced a team whose starters all took an early-retirement opt-out in the offseason and still looked like they didn't know how to string a coherent game plan together.
Looking Ahead: Please be the bye week; the Ravens are brutal to watch and write about...(checks schedule)...on the road at Arizona? D'oh.
New York Giants: D+
24 of 29
This Week's Result: Eagles 27, Giants 7
Offense (D+): The Giants' streak of low-mistake football games ended emphatically. Eli Manning threw a pick-six, Rashad Jennings fumbled and failed on a 4th-and-1 conversion and the offensive line buckled repeatedly.
Defense (C): Most of their defensive highlights were interceptions thrown directly to defenders who did not have to move and had no Eagles receivers in any position to play the ball.
Special Teams/Coaching (D+): Brad Wing shanked several punts, causing head coach Tom Coughlin's Matt Dodge ulcer to flare up. The early game plan was sound—the Giants marched downfield on the opening drive—but the team displayed a complete lack of comeback capability.
Looking Ahead: More NFC East excitement as the Giants host a rematch with the Cowboys. Hooray?
Buffalo Bills: D
25 of 29
This Week's Result: Bengals 34, Bills 21
Offense (D+): The EJ Manuel offense looked a lot like the Tyrod Taylor offense against the Patriots in Week 2. It had a misleadingly sharp opening drive, lots of stat padding late and little besides sacks and three-and-outs in between.
Defense (D): No sacks. No turnovers. The Bengals were 7-of-12 on third downs and 4-of-4 in red-zone opportunities.
Special Teams/Coaching (D): Eight penalties for 93 yards. Adam Jones enjoyed several productive returns. Dan Carpenter's kickoffs barely reached the goal line. The Bills barely put up a fight as the Bengals slowly seized control of the game in the third quarter.
Looking Ahead: The Jaguars are easy pickings. The Bills need a gimmie right now. The term they might use is "restore their swagger." Ever notice the Patriots never use terms like that?
Washington Redskins: D
26 of 29
This Week's Result: Jets 34, Redskins 20
Offense (D-): The offensive line featured names that looked like they were spat out by a random character generator. (Ty Nsekhe?) The running game, understandably, was nonexistent. After another two-interception game by Kirk Cousins, Washington's quarterback situation has been elevated to GriffCon 3.
Defense (D): Bashaud Breeland intercepted a pass and gobbled up two of the fumbles that Jets receivers kept giving away. The rest of the defense got steamrolled.
Special Teams/Coaching (C-): Dustin Hopkins kicked a 54-yard field goal, and a late blocked kick helped the Redskins preserve a little dignity. These grades are curved slightly to account for just how injury-plagued the Redskins are right now. The handling of the Redskins quarterback situation, as usual, will be judged on a plane of existence far above a mere weekly slideshow.
Looking Ahead: The Buccaneers, against whom the "Kirk Cousins is inexperienced" excuse won't hold up very well.
Jacksonville Jaguars: D
27 of 29
This Week's Result: Texans 31, Jaguars 20
Offense (C-): Blake Bortles made a lot of impressive plays but also threw three interceptions. When you attempt 53 passes as well as lead your team in rushing the way Bortles did, you have plenty of opportunities for both good plays and awful ones.
With T.J. Yeldon out, the combination of Toby Gerhart (prized free-agent selection last year) and Denard Robinson (exciting collegiate option quarterback-turned-mediocre halfback) combined for just 45 yards and 2.8 yards per carry.
Defense (D-): No pass rush. No big-play capability: The Jaguars only have one interception this season. Minimal run defense. The Jaguars defense is going backward.
Special Teams/Coaching (F): When the Texans rip off 21 straight points against you in the fourth quarter, it's time for some organizational soul-searching.
Looking Ahead: The Bills. Then a bye week that's like an old Roach Motel: If they check in at 1-6 after a string of losses to beatable teams, some members of the coaching staff might not check out.
Tennessee Titans: D-
28 of 29
This Week's Result: Dolphins 38, Titans 10
Offense (D): Opponents have figured out the dink-and-dunk, the screen game and the little option wrinkles that aren't really options or wrinkles. Ten-play, 61-yard field-goal drives full of teensy-weensy passes are about all the Titans are capable of lately.
Defense (D): The Titans defense excels at making Johnny Manziel and Tyrod Taylor look very good and Ryan Tannehill look unstoppable.
Special Teams/Coaching (D-): Red alert, Ken Whisenhunt: Marcus Mariota's development is starting to go sideways with these four-turnover games and nasty hits in the pocket. Hear the sirens, Coach? Whoop, whoop, whoop! Do something, Coach. Wait, Zach Mettenberger? Abort! Abort!
Looking Ahead: Mariota is banged up. The Falcons are coming. Try to preserve a little dignity, Titans.
Year-to-Date GPAs
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Here are the year-to-date GPAs after six weeks.
You know how GPAs work: 4.0 is an A, 3.0 is a B, and so on down to the 0.0 that made you switch from organic chemistry to sports journalism in college (and by "you" we mean "us") and makes NFL teams resort to drastic Dan Campbell measures.
1. New England Patriots: 3.90
2. Cincinnati Bengals: 3.74
3. Green Bay Packers: 3.39
4. Carolina Panthers: 3.18
5. Atlanta Falcons: 3.05
6. Denver Broncos: 3.04
7. New York Jets: 2.95
8. Arizona Cardinals: 2.91
9. Minnesota Vikings: 2.76
10. Pittsburgh Steelers: 2.73
11. New York Giants: 2.42
12. Philadelphia Eagles: 2.22
13. Cleveland Browns: 2.18
14. New Orleans Saints: 2.18
15. Oakland Raiders: 2.18
16. Chicago Bears: 2.17
17. Buffalo Bills: 2.15
18. Seattle Seahawks: 2.15
19. San Diego Chargers: 2.14
20. Washington Redskins: 2.01
21. St. Louis Rams: 1.95
22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 1.92
23. Detroit Lions: 1.92
24. Baltimore Ravens: 1.91
25. Tennessee Titans 1.90
26. San Francisco 49ers: 1.83
27. Indianapolis Colts: 1.74
28. Kansas City Chiefs: 1.70
29. Dallas Cowboys: 1.62
30. Houston Texans: 1.59
31. Miami Dolphins 1.29
32. Jacksonville Jaguars: 1.26
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Texans Football")
.jpg?w=480 "Indiana Pro Day Football")
.jpg?w=480 "Jaguars Raiders Football")
.jpg?w=600 "Roseman on Makai Lemon Call 📞")
.jpg?w=600 "Claypool Gets NFL Tryout")
.jpg?w=600 "Malik Willis' Wild 1st Pitch ⚾")
