5 Rounds with Jonathan Snowden: The Best and Worst of UFC 191

"Look at my face," flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson demanded of UFC announcer Joe Rogan after his five-round dismantling of challenger John Dodson on Saturday night at UFC 191. "I look prettier than a motherf--ker. And that's what technique gets you right there."

It was a telling statement, one that quite cogently divided the battle lines in the MMA world's constant war between sport and spectacle.

Johnson, without question, is one of the most skilled fighters in UFC history. His style is a dizzying combination of technical perfection and flawless tactics—the cerebral and the physical thrown together in a way few fighters can manage.

But, it turns out, many UFC fans aren't really interested in whether the sport's champions can emerge from a five-round fight looking "pretty." In fact, that's the polar opposite of their desires.

Johnson isn't for those fans. He can't be. 

The problem? 

They are legion.

Johnson's box-office fate matters, because it's a referendum on the sport itself, not just Johnson as an individual. Johnson represents MMAs future. Most fans, it seems, would rather stay in the present.

While the title fight did its best to rescue what was an incredibly dull main card, the UFC's continued expansion reflected in a collection of monotonous and uninspiring bouts. Looking at the card as a whole, we'll choose the five best and worst moments—the handful of things worth talking about on Twitter in the event's aftermath.

Want to extend the bout from five rounds into infinity? That's what the comments section is for. Make your voice heard.

Round 1: Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots

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Things tend to happen fast in the bantamweight class. What else would you expect from 135-pound men bouncing around like concussive pinballs, with brain trauma their ultimate goal?

While that's generally true, it was especially true in the John Lineker and Francisco Rivera fight on the Fox Sports 1 prelims. By the time Joe Rogan managed to say "Rivera's in trouble. Rivera's in big trouble," the Californian was already on the ground, with more than a dozen punches cascading off his head in the most brutal fashion. 

And that was just the beginning.

When Rivera struggled to his feet, he planted them. Lineker did the same. What followed was an old-fashioned slugfest. Both men threw haymaker after haymaker, tossing any regard for self-preservation right out the window. 

If Demetrious Johnson represents the best of tactical MMA, this best represents the sport's id. Technique and strategy disappeared, replaced by machismo and pure firepower. And it was glorious.

Round 2: Joe Rogan Fails to Keep It Real

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There was certainly nothing wrong with the Ross Pearson vs. Paul Felder fight that topped the Fox Sports 1 prelims. Pearson, the veteran, fought intelligently against the stronger and more explosive Felder. Using constant movement and higher volume, he kept the younger fighter so busy he didn't really have time to do anything impressive.

I respect that kind of solid, professional fighting. It's not going to wow anyone, but sometimes winning is better than wowing. No one is going to put that on a T-shirt, but it's a combat sports truism. 

The disconnect for me came after the fight. Announcer Joe Rogan followed Pearson over as he commiserated with Felder and spoke to both of them at the same time. 

"This is going to go down in UFC history, us two," Pearson said. "We're going to battle to the end."

They treated the moment like the fight had been Forrest Griffin vs. Stephan Bonnar or, heck, Lineker vs. Rivera. It was neither. It was the most basic kind of prizefight, one that will immediately be relegated to the dust bin of combat sports history.

For announcers to truly impact viewers, they have to be truth-tellers first and foremost. Rogan and partner Mike Goldberg failed to live up to that implied pact with their viewers here.

When something is great, I want the announce team to enjoy it with me. But don't take a ham sandwich and tell me it's filet mignon. That doesn't benefit the fighters, the promoter or the audience.

Round 3: Anthony Johnson Is a Bad Person

As expected, Anthony Johnson put the stamp on an overmatched Jimi Manuwa, once again proving to be the scariest one-punch knockout artist in the light heavyweight division. His is the kind of power that makes anything possible—even a win against light heavyweight kingpin Jon Jones if things fall just right.

But as great as Johnson is in the cage, he's every bit as appalling out of it. After the fight he went barking by press row, shouting words like "b--h" and "s--t" as he chastised the media for the crime of writing about his behavior. 

If his goal was to quell reportage, we'll have to wait and see whether he was successful. If it was to prove the counseling the UFC provided after his latest outburst worked for him, well, it was an abject failure.

Watching Johnson is like watching a car crash in extreme slow motion. You can see the tragedy coming and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I hope he can yank the wheel and move off this collision course—for all our sake.

Round 4: Andrei Arlovski and Frank Mir Redefine "Lumbering"

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On a radio spot before the show, I told some gregarious Canadian hosts I was afraid we were all a little too excited about Andrei Arlovski and Frank Mir. I wasn't entirely sold on either man being entirely rejuvenated and suspected the bottom would fall out of their comebacks sooner rather than later.

While my words were dire, they weren't nearly dire enough. Mir and Arlovski didn't just fail to meet expectations—they set a new standard for futility. Over and over again Arlovski threw the same predictable combinations. Over and over again Mir avoided them and pushed his opponent into the cage. It was like Groundhog Day, except with aged MMA fighters instead of Bill Murray. 

Arlovski emerged from the morass the winner—if anyone can really win a fight that embarrassing. At least he had the courtesy not to pretend he deserves a title shot after that disaster.

"It’s totally up to the UFC," Arlovski told the UFC's Megan Olivi on Fox Sports 1. "...I’m going to take lessons from this fight. I'm going to study that fight against Frank. We need to do some changes."

Round 5: Demetrious Johnson Still Pretty, Still Winning

At this point I've given up on figuring out why the UFC has failed to sell Demetrious Johnson to fight fans. Is it his height? His normality? The frenetic motion that is a bit dizzying to watch?

Worrying too much about it is the path to madness. 

I'm content to simply enjoy Johnson put on a master class of martial prowess. His bouts are as psychological as they are physical—a display of his ability to systematically annihilate his opponent's will to win.

Just look at poor John Dodson. When the rematch began, he hoped to build on his success in their first fight. Instead, Johnson stymied him, using a lead right hand and single-leg takedown attempt to push him into the cage. It happened again and again.

And then the real work began.

Using techniques like they were building blocks, Johnson constructed his brilliant game plan over 25 long minutes. As soon as Dodson got used to the rhythm of his attack, Johnson would add a new block. "Right hand to single leg to cage" became "right hand to single leg to cage to elbow."

Any time Dodson felt comfortable, the champion would hit him with something new, adding to an increasingly complicated structure of technique. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

Johnson isn't going to be for everyone. But for those who enjoy fighting as science, he's the most interesting lab experiment in MMA history.