The Premier League Monday Figleaf

The Figleaf is back after the international “break”. And on the subject of that international break, I found myself at Hampden Park last Wednesday and what an experience it was. I’ve heard the stories about the “Tartan Army”, the tens of thousands of diehard Scots following their team to all four corners of the World often in pursuit of completely lost causes. But it was another thing to experience this unique group of sporting fanatics up close. I arrived to Glasgow in the early-evening and walked the three miles to Hampden through back-streets so riven with poverty and despair that words can’t really describe it. Then as we picked our way through the haunted Queen’s Park suddenly the noise started to build. I was reminded that there is no more vocal group of sports fans in the World than the Tartan Army. Enjoying a pre-match pint not far from the famous old ground I was the only one of hundreds crammed into the pub not wearing a Scottish shirt. An Englishman in a Scottish football jersey just wasn’t the done thing I thought. When suddenly from a plastic bag hidden from view a Archie Gemmill ’78 replica shirt was presented to me by my the Scots I was accompanying. I had been deemed worthy of becoming an honourary member of the Tartan Army for the night and it was a touching moment. Or maybe the Scots just didn’t fancy my chances of getting out alive dressed in my “fashionable” London shirt? But this brings me onto a key observation about the Tartan Army: there is no undercurrent of intimidation or violence at all. They are passionate in the extreme but respectful with it. Compare that to the Italian “Ultras”, the various “firms” from London football clubs and the intimidation Turkish fans so happily rain down upon visiting support.

As we entered Hampden I briefly thought we had missed the kick-off as the din was overwhelming. But we hadn’t. You see, the singing of favourites such as “We Are Coming” and the incongruous “Doh a Deer” starts long before the match does and never stops, the noise level varying from loud to ear-splitting. And this noise (the famous “Hampden Roar”) was something I’d never experienced in a sporting arena before. There are an inordinate number of clichés I could trot out, “the atmosphere was electric”, “the rafters shook”. But it was more than that. It was the sound of fifty thousand Scotsman drunk on passion and camaraderie. It was undeniable and it was awe-inspiring. And I was in the middle of it.

Overcome by the atmosphere, for a brief while before kick-off I felt sorry for the visiting Dutch team. How was it possible to prevail against such a force of human spirit? But then of course there’s the playing. And if only the current Scotland team had 10% of the quality of their unquestionably loyal fans. Yes the Scots had their chances and yes on another day it could have been one of THE special nights. But there was something depressingly inevitable about Holland’s 82nd minute winner. And when the ball hit the back of the net and with it the hopes of Scotland progressing to the World Cup Finals for the first time in twelve years evaporated; it was inevitable that the decibel level would fall. And it did. But I tell you this, despite being overcome with dejection, the Tartan Army in those last eight minutes still made more noise than I'm used to experiencing at most other sporting stadia. Till the very end (and beyond) they sang and they roared. They clapped their fallen heroes once the final whistle had been blown and they were gracious enough to salute a very good Dutch team also. And so I departed with a mixture of sadness that the result had not gone as planned but also bursting with pride that I’d been briefly invited to join the ranks of the greatest set of sports fans in the World. Through the chilly Glaswegian night drifted several further renditions of “We Are Coming” except that in South Africa 2010 the Tartan Army won’t be coming…..and the football World will be all the poorer for it.


Snapshot observations from the World Cup qualifiers……

- To those Scottish fans I heard on the radio demanding George Burley's head during the interminably long drive back to Edinburgh after the game, I’d give Burley another campaign. His Scottish side went toe-to-toe with Holland without looking wholly out of place and his tactical set-up had a lot to do with that. There comes a point when you have to recognise that, at present, the talent is just not there and that by changing the manager for the sake of it you move a step backwards not forwards. Burley will have learned a lot from this campaign and will be a stronger international manager for it.

- By formulating a plan that gets the best from Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney; Fabio Capello has given England its best chance of World Cup glory since Italia ‘90. He now has to sit and pray that the insanely long and very physical English football season doesn’t rob him of too much starting talent.

- Based on what I see right now, I’d be very surprised if the winner of the 2010 World Cup doesn’t come from Spain, Brazil and England.

- I’ll believe Portugal and France won’t make it to South Africa 2010 when I see it……

- Is Diego Maradona the worst managerial appointment in international football history? The answer will be “yes” if Argentina with their embarrassment of riches does not make the World Cup finals next year.

- If Russia beat Germany in Moscow on Saturday 10th October, anyone for France vs Germany in the qualifying play-offs?


Right, back to some observations from a very entertaining weekend of action in the Premier League……

- So Man City have played four, won four. Yes they rode their luck against Arsenal but I’ll say this about the light blues: City looked like a real team this weekend. They had intensity and spirit; they were physical and had a ferocious work-rate. I tip my hat to Mark Hughes who has already successfully managed to stamp his personality on what is clearly a collection of quite sizeable egos. If Hughes can continue to foster this team ethic and if Robinho and Santa Cruz can get fit and stay fit, City have a shot at finishing in the Top 4…..no more than that right now though.

- I really liked the tone Mark Hughes set in his post-match interview, “We had a big test today and we’ve come through it, that’s all we’ve done”. Understated and focused, much like he was as a player. It’s easy to forget how much pressure Hughes was under coming into this season…..the fact that no mention of this pressure is to be found anywhere in the Sunday British press tells you how well Hughes has done so far this season.

- Nigel De Jong put in an outstanding performance for City against the Gunners in the “holding role”. Whereas the likes of Adebayor, Tevez, Santa Cruz and Robinho will command many of the headlines for City this season, it’s possible their prospects of busting into the Top 4 rest with De Jong maintaining that type of form. His general tenacity and appetite to hunt the ball down provided the platform for City's impressive win.

- Let’s call Adebayor’s stamp on Robin Van Persie’s face what it is: complete thuggery designed to cause a nasty injury. I'm not generally into over-dramatising events but Van Persie could have lost the sight in one eye. I lose track of the frustratingly inconsistent way TV replays are used (or not) to punish players retrospectively but the Premier League (for all of its positives) needs to take a zero tolerance approach to incidents of this nature. Kids across the World are watching let’s not forget. Adebayor should be banned for six games minimum in my view. A goal and a Maradona-esque dribble down the left touchline reminds us why City were so keen to sign Adebayor. Attempting to seriously injure an opposition player before almost causing a riot with a provocative goal celebration reminds us why most Arsenal fans never held him close to their hearts.

- Watching Adebayor against Arsenal I was reminded of the following point: any sportsman who requires adversity and criticism to provide the best of himself performance-wise comes a distant second to those who demand that level of performance of themselves week-in, week-out. Paul Scholes doesn’t need to be playing against a former club or criticised by an opposition manager to go out and give a master class in how to run a football game from the centre of midfield. He just goes out and does it. It’s that level of consistency that's born of self-motivation upon which great teams are built. “But Scholes hasn’t got a former club?” I hear you ask. Errrm…..good point…..but if he did…..

- How good was Shaun Wright-Philips wide-right for City against Arsenal? With him and Aaron Lennon tearing up the Premier League and Theo Walcott to come back from injury, I just can’t see how Beckham is on that plane to South Africa. Not as a player anyway……

- Arsenal have lost 6-2 cumulatively to Manchester ’s City and Utd over the last two weeks but it is very possible on the run-of-play they could have won 6-2. Run-of-play counts for nothing, of course. But it’s not time to panic yet Arsenal fans. Arsenal’s next four league games are against Wigan, Fulham, Blackburn and Birmingham and there’s points-a-plenty in that little lot.

- So how would Man Utd replace those “irreplaceable” Ronaldo goals? Well, it's worth remembering Utd “only” scored sixty-eight goals in last year’s title-winning campaign and drew a big fat zero in the Champions League final. And eleven goals in five games suggests they're likely to be just fine this time around. One of the reasons is the form of Wayne Rooney. OK Messi and Ronaldo haven't played much so far this season, but on current form Rooney is the best player in the world. Period.

- Darren Fletcher was outstanding again for Man Utd at Spurs, just as he was for Scotland against Holland in midweek. “If ever Utd needed Fletcher it was in the Champions League final against Barcelona” former Liverpool midfielder Graeme Souness said this week. Has the great moustached-one been reading the Figleaf?

- It was a recently as April 25th, 2009 that Spurs conceded five goals in just twenty minutes as they managed to turn a 2-0 advantage against Man Utd into a complete thrashing. So imagine my surprise when I laid eyes on Harry Redknapp’s starting XI for Saturday’s game. Peter Crouch, Jermaine Defoe, Aaron Lennon AND Robbie Keane were all starters. You spotting any ball winning talent among that lot? Me neither. The fact that the two “holding players”, the tireless Palacios and the mercurial Huddlestone, are yet to “keep” a clean-sheet in six attempts this season reveals the folly of thinking those two could out-muscle the Anderson-Scholes-Fletcher combination. Says Redknapp: "I’ll have to look again this week. And I wouldn't see myself going to Chelsea with such an open looking team, because they overload the midfield and we could get well ripped up". Come on Harry, you can do better than that……

- It mystifies me, and I'm pretty sure it mystifies Gianfranco Zola, how West Ham didn’t take at least a point back with them after their tussle at the DW stadium.

- 17,142. That’s how many Wigan fans turned-up to watch Saturday’s match against West Ham. 40,000 turned-up to watch Sunderland and even 27,000 pitched-up to watch the Stoke long-throw. Despite a fortuitous 1-0 win, Wigan is a football club whose Premier League membership is beginning to look a little tired…..

- I just loved the “statues” impression Hull’s Kamil Zayette pulled-off during Sunderland’s third goal. What on earth was he doing?

- Sunderland have scored more home goals (seven) than any other team so far this season. At the risk of sounding like a stuck record: Darren Bent, Kenwyne Jones and Frazier Campbell might well represent more goal-scoring depth than even Rafa Benitez has at his disposal……

- That said, such is the breath-taking skill of Fernando Torres and Stephen Gerrard (when both are fit) that Liverpool could have scored eight against Burnley. The honeymoon for Owen Coyle’s men is well and truly over.

- “We were raving about Hull City after their start last season” said Phil Brown in his post-match interview. Were we? Two things about this statement that would make me nervous as a Hull fan: (i) I'm always suspicious of people who talk of themselves or their organisation in the third person; (ii) there are just too many references to last season emanating from the KC (still). Goal difference is a key metric I keep an eye on as, more often than not, three of four teams with the worst goal difference in the league get relegated. It’s early days (clearly) but Portsmouth, Hull and Burnley (all -7) need to try and eradicate those dreadful “capitulation” afternoons. Capitulation, you see, is more than just a loss…..it’s a loss that quickly drains the reservoir of spirit.....

- “The build-up to the game had been dominated by talk of Blackburn 's failure to score in three consecutive home games stretching back to the tail-end of last season” Les Roopanarine at BBC Sport tells me. Not in the Figleaf it hadn’t and this article remains more than relaxed about Blackburn’s top-flight survival. The Halves have more than enough to secure mid-table anonymity this season. Although if more opposition players turn-up to Ewood Park and defend like Michael Mancienne maybe the top half of the table beckons?

- That was a gritty come-from-behind Fulham victory in the battle of the “teams who shouldn’t be down here” at Craven Cottage on Sunday. Everton need not panic though, they showed well and with their next six matches against Blackburn, Hull, Portsmouth, Stoke, Wolves and Bolton; the top half of the table beckons.

- Tim Cahill stands at 5ft8…..he ain’t half good in the air for a titch.

- Some local derbies are end-to-end lively affairs, some are snore-fests. It was duvets all round for Birmingham-Aston Villa yesterday. “We could have got something out of the game” says Alex McLeish. Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve makes for a bad school report when end-of-term comes around……

- Question: what don’t you need when you’re bottom of the table with zero points and you’re everybody’s favourite for the drop? Answer: a home defeat against a relegation rival via an 89th minute goal. Portsmouth better hope that the seven new players they brought in as the transfer window closed gel and gel fast.


And now to a few random non-footballing observations.....

- Welcome back the NFL season to brighten my darkening autumnal Sunday nights. Whether it’s Tom Brady back from injury, the return of Michael Vick, Brett Favre in a Vikings jersey, Jay Cutler’s high-profile trade to the Bears, Peyton Manning less Tony Dungy for the first time in his hall-of-fame career or the Cowboys state-of-the-art $1.5bn new stadium……NFL fans are salivating like never before.

- That’s more like it Brawn GP.

- If we cared about the result of one-day internationals, us English cricket fans would be drowning in a sea of desolation regarding England’s recent tepid displays. But we don’t…..so we’re not.

- What was Serena Williams doing?

- I tip my hat to Michael Jordan and his speech during his hall-of-fame induction this weekend. The speech has received criticism in the press for being bitter in the way he threw personal barbs at foes from yester-year. I take a different view by suggesting that it was refreshing to see a man who regularly stood accused of polishing his image to keep his corporate sponsors sweet speak with such honesty and freedom (particularly given he was at one of these sycophantic, nauseating back-slapping events the Yanks are so keen on). It also gave an insight into the mentality of one of the best sportsman off all-time: he was a trash-talker was Jordan during the entirety of his basketball career and that's part of what made him so damn good. If ever a man at such a ceremony has earned the right to say whatever he wants…..it’s No.23.

- Dean Richards this week: “Everybody knows cheating in rugby goes on. It does happen. Blood capsules, cutting of players, false blood on rags, faked front-row injuries, all have gone on". Will somebody take away this man’s spade……

- F1 driver Adrian Sutil is being interviewed live on TV after the Monza grand prix. An attractive young lady comes up and taps him on the shoulder before being ushered away. Eddie Jordan asks Sutil, “Do you know her?” Sutil replies, “Not yet”. Great answer…..