Premier League Preview: Are Arsenal Finally the Real Deal?

It’s not even started and we’ve already had a row. With "handshakegates" no longer de rigueur since John Terry ran out of people to fall out with, Messrs Mourinho and Arsene Wenger’s public show of affliction at the Community Shield was almost quaint.

The column inches dedicated to it were wildly disproportionate and, in some cases, bordering on hysterical. Yet, at the same time, a return to open hostilities may prove a portent omen for the 2015/16 Premier League campaign ahead of the weekend’s opening salvos. Let’s hope so.

Marketing departments may shout to the contrary, but if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it's that the fare dished up last season was more microwaveable meal than Michelin star.

Chelsea’s canter to the title was no less impressive for the failings of those around them, but with Manchester City looking portly and at the end of a cycle of success, their neighbours alternating between devilish and dire on an almost weekly basis, Liverpool suffering the world’s longest post-Luis Suarez hangover and Arsenal being Arsenal, English football owes us all a season Dickensian in its range of twists and revelations.

It’s certainly started well. Jose Mourinho may have sauntered into Wembley dressed as though he’d spent the morning chewing the fat with Paulie Gualtieri over at Satriale’s, but for all the insouciance, his post-match baiting of Wenger intimated he’d been rattled.

Given his own predilection for pragmatism, accusing his old sparring partner of having instructed his Arsenal team to "leave their philosophy in the dressing room" is not so much a below-the-belt blow but rather a backhanded compliment.

Grinding out a 2-0 victory at Manchester City in January, via the previously unheard of practice of counter-attacking with efficiency and economy, proved something of an epiphany for Wenger last season. Certainly if the Premier League’s incurable romantic can finally accept that to "out-football" the opposition is not the only way to win a football match, then the prettiest girl in the class may just prove to be the brightest, too.

Arsenal fans, traditionally prone to bouts of existential gloom, seem smitten with this new iron fist in a velvet glove way of working. Talk is for once of titles and trophies rather than resigned mutterings of a perpetual work in progress, stadium debts and whether it’s in Arsene they trust or rust.

Roy Keane remains sceptical, though, and whilst his assertion that Arsenal’s players are more concerned with selfies and six-packs than silverware has been quickly rebutted, it will have stung in a dressing room not known for winning ugly.

Whilst retention of the FA Cup has helped put the collective bit between Arsenal’s teeth, the capture of Petr Cech appears to have had the greatest galvanising effect.

That critics cite the fact Arsenal have not had a steady presence between the posts since Jens Lehmann, which is a little like the A-Team saying they haven’t had a steady driver since Murdock got readmitted, is all the evidence needed that goalkeeping has been a long-standing problem position.

And yet, for all Cech’s undeniable qualities, there does seem to be a bit of Life of Brian (with a skull cap) going on. Terry started it all when he claimed his departing team-mate would be worth "between 12 and 15 points" for Arsenal this season, with Graeme Souness joining in Cech bingo by counter-arguing he’d be value for "at least 10 points."

It’s a good job Abou Diaby has hobbled to Marseille, otherwise he’d be at the front of the queue of ailing bodies asking the capital’s new messiah for a miracle.

Cech is a significant improvement on both Wojciech Szczesny and David Ospina, but given Arsenal have ended the past 11 seasons an average of 14 points behind the champions, it would be premature to suggest further investment isn’t required to narrow that gap.

The primary question for the weekend visit of West Ham United is one that will likely be on a loop until Wenger has another "Ozil moment" and spends big on a new centre-forward. Whether it is Olivier Giroud or Theo Walcott given the nod at No. 9 on Sunday will divide opinion, and yet the theme Arsenal fans seem unified on is that none of the aforementioned, nor Danny Welbeck, are quite at the level to spearhead a title-winning attack.

Francis Coquelin could do with some cover beyond the ageing and fading Mikel Arteta and Mathieu Flamini, just in case he suffers from second-season syndrome, and an additional centre-half wouldn’t go amiss either. If that paints a gloomy picture, it shouldn’t. There is a real sense that if Wenger uses the weighty bounty supposedly at his disposal, a serious title tilt is well within reach.

West Ham’s bid to ensure they don’t wave farewell to their beloved Boleyn Ground against Swansea on May 7 with half of their supporters asleep has culminated in the removal of Sam Allardyce. Club legend Slaven Bilic has been jettisoned in with the promise of sexier football and starts his tenure from a solid base having retained the club’s key players.

The acquisition of the exciting-looking Dimitri Payet and £10 million centre-half Angelo Ogbonna bodes well. Bilic’s record in club football holds up less well to rigorous scrutiny, so the Croatian needs a steady start or booming Big Sam laughter will be heard all the way from Bolton to the Boleyn.

A capital derby at the Emirates will not have been at the top of Bilic’s wish list, with West Ham having not won a league game at Arsenal since 2006/2007. An 11-2 aggregate reverse from their last three away days there is not encouraging either.

Manchester United vs. Tottenham, Saturday, 12:45 p.m BST

As per Paul Wilson’s column in the Guardian, how Manchester United shape up after a summer that has demonstrated "[Louis] Van Gaal is not going to take mediocrity lying down" is a question that fascinates the neutral almost as much as the club’s supporters.

Such is Van Gaal’s conviction in his own methods, it’s difficult not to get caught up in his steely-eyed assessment of what needs to be done, and yet, despite having had free rein on an eye-watering budget since he replaced David Moyes, United’s squad is lopsided.

The tardy Angel Di Maria has been packed off to Paris with (little) love at a sizeable loss, but United’s midfield options remain bounteous. No problem with that, per se, but with left-back-cum-midfield-shield Daley Blind set to start against Tottenham in central defence, back-up for Wayne Rooney frightfully short and continued question marks over who will start in goal, there remain almost as many issues to address as have been solved.

With Pedro seemingly perpetually on the precipice of signing and a dominating centre-half who isn’t Sergio Ramos surely on the radar, expect Van Gaal to keep on butchering and buying between now and the close of the transfer window.

No one is seemingly safe at Old Trafford these days. The Dutchman’s soft-faced menace, at once avuncular and a bit Frank Booth in Blue Velvet, will ensure Manchester United remain the country’s box-office attraction regardless of results.

United’s 3-0 dismantling of Tottenham at Old Trafford was one of their better performances last season, but Spurs edge the previous six meetings between the two sides. A win rate of 33 per cent to United’s 17 per cent suggests it will be a close-run affair, but with the home side likely to hand debuts to Matteo Darmian, Morgan Schneiderlin and Memphis Depay (Bastian Schweinsteiger will probably start on the bench), the feel-good factor in Manchester should prove overpowering.

If the forecast for the red side of north London is sunshine and smiles, in Tottenham, it’s overcast with a chance of drizzle. Spurs travel north on the back of a subdued summer.

Daniel Levy’s ability to lever the best possible transfer fees from suitors of his best players is legendary, and he’s proved not half bad at removing dead wood either. Lewis Holtby, Etienne Capoue, Paulinho, Benjamin Stambouli, Vlad Chiriches and Younes Kaboul have all been shifted, with Roberto Soldado and Emmanuel Adebayor likely to join them out of the exit door.

Tidy business then, and yet it has the feel of a Sunday spent clearing out the garage. A feeling of satisfaction at putting the dust-covered speedboat on eBay can soon become one of regret on Monday morning, when reflecting on what you didn’t do rather than what you did.

There’s nothing to suggest Tottenham are any worse off than last season, but then that’s the point; with the rest of their rivals investing significantly, Mauricio Pochettino’s men seem to have stood still, and a top-four spot seems a lofty aspiration at present.

The acquisition of Toby Alderweireld, to the ire of Southampton where he excelled under Ronald Koeman, could prove one of the summer’s cutest buys and should help shore up a back line that shipped more goals than all but four other top-flight clubs last season.

But if Harry Kane has a "normal" season—21 Premier League goals, 31 in all competitions and a PFA Young Player of the Year gong seems a tough repeat ask—Tottenham could underwhelm if reinvestment isn’t forthcoming.

Stoke vs. Liverpool, Sunday, 4 p.m BST

Liverpool return to the nadir of their annus horribilis with a trip to Stoke City on Sunday. Brendan Rodgers conceded after concluding last season with a 6-1 defeat at the Britannia Stadium that his job was in jeopardy, but instead it was coaches Colin Pascoe and Mike Marsh who were thrown on to the tracks as the Fenway Sports Group granted the Ulsterman a stay of execution.

Much has been made of Steven Gerrard’s departure, but whether his lingering presence last season was help or hindrance is subject for debate.

What cannot be disputed is Rodgers has been backed over a summer that has seen the big-money acquisitions of Firminho and Christian Benteke to help offset Raheem Sterling’s defection to Manchester City, who were raided themselves for the perennially underrated James Milner.

However, the thing with stays of executions is they are precisely that. With Jurgen Klopp and Carlo Ancelotti both waiting by the phone, Rodgers will be acutely aware that he has to negotiate a fixture list that sees trips to Arsenal, Manchester United, Everton, Tottenham, Chelsea and Manchester City follow on from Stoke. He’s not a dead man walking yet, but expect Vines/memes featuring Paddy Considine after each and every defeat.

Stoke, meanwhile, in altogether more cheery circumstances, continue their metamorphosis from retirement home for tall players to hipster haven with glorious abandon. With Barcelona winger Adama Traore having been linked with a reunion with former team-mates Ibrahim Afellay, Bojan Krkic, Moha El Ouriachi and Marc Muniesa in the Potteries, it can only be a matter of time before free beards and craft ale are handed out with season tickets.

Joking aside, it’s an exciting squad Mark Hughes has assembled on the back of the fine foundations laid by his predecessor Tony Pulis, and whilst an improvement on last term’s ninth-place finish will be difficult, Stoke should be looking up rather than beneath them.

And let's not forget...

Daniel Kopatsch/Getty Images

Bournemouth’s first-ever Premier League fixture pits together the manager you’d most want your sister to bring home with the least, as Aston Villa visit the newly named Vitality Stadium.

Football’s curmudgeons can’t help but bring up Russian investment when the topic of Bournemouth’s remarkable rise under Eddie Howe is up for discussion, but in an age when romanticism is in short supply, what’s been achieved on the south coast deserves celebration, not cynicism.

Premier League football at a club who six summers ago looked to be heading out of the Football League, if not into liquidation, is a remarkable achievement whether it’s been aided by foreign money or otherwise.