'WWE Tough Enough' Misses the Mark with Sloppy Season Premiere

During the merciful conclusion to the season premiere of WWE Tough Enough, the bottom three contestants awaited their fate.

Chris Jericho, speaking in a contrived, low-register voice, asked judge Daniel Bryan if he'd like to save any of the contestants. Bryan offered this dry response: "Absolutely not."

It was symbolic of the messy, overproduced season premiere of WWE Tough Enough, which came off more like a cheap beauty pageant for sociopaths. If this overwrought co-ed version of Total Divas could be summed up as a WWE Superstar, it would be Fandango, who excelled in every wrestling aspect (entrance, gimmick, etc.) except the ones that draw money.

When WWE revealed the initial promotional posters, it featured two hosts, three panelists and three coaches to go along with 13 contestants. The poster more closely resembled the WWE Royal Rumble. By the end of the first episode, a crowded cast is one of several concerns.

Credit: WWE.com

With so much talent to feature in a one-hour show, several cast members were rendered invisible. They felt secondary to the cheesy dramatic music, flashy sound stage and Jericho's popped collar.

With limited time for too many people, the judges failed to establish any chemistry—in fact, they barely looked at one another—and as a result of very little speaking time, they often flubbed their lines.

The constant switches, from inside a live studio to pre-taped segments, disconnected fans from the contestants, who are supposed to be the focal point of the show.

There's a certain grittiness to Tough Enough that is lost with a grinning host inside a state-of-the-art facility. In season five, Steve Austin fit this mold perfectly as a no-nonsense Texas redneck whose show-ending verbal tirades were a precursor to the movie Whiplash.

No wrestling fan will ever question the legit toughness of Jericho. We've all heard him discuss his backstage scuffle with Bill Goldberg in WWE. But to the naked eye, Jericho is a discount Ryan Seacrest.

Despite the nice digs, the show seems out of touch as it is modeled after the modern singing competition. With American Idol set to enter its final season due to slumping ratings, this model is down to its last dime in pop culture currency.

The coaches also seemed to have a tough time fitting in as there is no hierarchy. Who's the head coach? Who are the assistants? The lack of a top dog among the coaches hurts their intimidation factor, and viewers are unable to assign a value to who these hopefuls need to impress the most.

With so many aspects taking away from the core talent—who need to be prominently featured—very few of the already unlikable cast members are relevant. Even WWE's blatant attempt to position gator-hunter ZZ as America's overweight underdog comes off as desperate and forced.

The first episode in season six of WWE Tough Enough made Total Divas look like Game of Thrones. The only good news is there's nowhere to go but up.

Alfred Konuwa is a featured columnist and on-air host for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter @ThisIsNasty and subscribe to his weekly wrestling podcast.