What Will WWE Be Like in Five Years' Time?

It's no secret that the superstars on the WWE roster aren't as young as they once were. The average age has gone up dramatically in the last 10 years or so. I started wondering what WWE would be like in five years time.

Let's just assume that the entire current roster stays with the company for the next five years, and that no new talent is brought in from development.

Let's also assume that the age of retirement for the superstars is 42 for men, and 34 for women.

Fast forward to the year 2014. There has been an astonishing 27 retirements in the preceding five years, including:

Shawn Michaels (48)

Undertaker (49)

Triple H (44)

Batista (45)

Kane (47)

Chris Jericho (44)

Big Show (42)

R-Truth (42)

Goldust (45)

Chavo Guerrero (44)

Mark Henry (43)

The Great Khali (42)

Tommy Dreamer (43)

William Regal (46)

Finlay (56)

Vladimir Kozlov (42)

Charlie Haas (42)

Kung Fu Naki (46)

Jim Duggan (60)

Beth Phoenix (34)

Mickie James (35)

Gail Kim (38)

Melina (35)

Jillian Hall (34)

Rosa Mendes (35)

Layla (36)

Katie Lea Burchill (34)

We're coming up to WWE's annual PPV Night Of Champions, where all the championships are being defended. Let's take a look at the card, shall we?

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian (c) - ECW Championship

Shelton still hasn't won a world championship, and he's now 39 years old! Hopefully he can win the ECW title and get on a roll, because everyone still says he's underrated and is so athletically gifted.

Christian meanwhile is 41 years old and is on his last title run. After the retirement of Tommy Dreamer, Christian has been the ECW Champion for 2 1/2 years because the creative team didn't think Shelton was quite ready to handle it.

Michelle McCool (c) vs. Maria - Women's Championship

Even though he's almost old enough to be getting the pension, Michelle McCool is still dating Undertaker. After 'Taker retired he joined Smackdown's creative team and booked McCool to retain the belt in every match for the last four years.

Maria meanwhile has posed for Playboy several more times, realizing that she can't wrestle very well, and hoping that she will one day become Hugh Hefner's latest girlfriend.

Interpromotional Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royal:

Santino Marella, Festus, Hornswoggle, Jamie Noble, Cody Rhodes, Ricky Ortiz, Jimmy Wang Yang, Mike Knox, Sheamus O'Shaunessy, Hurricane, Paul Burchill, Jesse.

Yes, you read that correctly. Noble and Rhodes are still jobbing to everyone on the roster. Last week we saw them in a handicap match against Hornswoggle where they had to have their feet tied together, both hands tied behind their back, and Hornswoggle was allowed to use weapons. Somehow, Hornswoggle won.

Cryme Tyme w/ Eve Torres vs. The Hart Dynasty w/ Natalya Neidhart (c) - Unified Tag Team Championship

It's been five whole years since Natalya was drafted to Smackdown, along with the rest of The Hart Dynasty, and she still hasn't had a match for the women's title.

Cryme Tyme and The Hart Dynasty are now the only tag teams in the WWE. They've been feuding for the last 28 months over the tag team belts, having a title match at each and every PPV.

Maryse (c) vs. Kelly Kelly - Divas Championship

Maryse and Kelly are now the only females on the RAW roster ever since Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, and Gail Kim retired in the last few years. This is only the third time that the Divas have been on a PPV since 2011, because Vince still isn't very high on them.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio (c) - Intercontinental Championship

Nobody can remember what the guy's name is with the bleached blonde hair. After not getting recognized in the locker room, Dolph Ziggler went to an insane asylum before eventually returning to the WWE with his new gimmick, constantly screaming "I'm Dolph Ziggler, who the hell are you!?" at anyone passing by.

Everyone still likes Jeff Hardy better than his brother. Matt went on a rampage and demanded that Vince give him a world title match.

Vince didn't like his attitude and put him in a no-DQ match with Shane at WrestleMania XXIX. Shane won after interference from Stephanie, Triple H, and even Vince himself.

Rey Mysterio is still hovering between the mid-card and main event level status without winning any world championships.

Carlito Colon vs. MVP (c) vs. Primo Colon - United States Championship

MVP still hasn't reached main event status yet, but Vince still considers him to be the future of the company, at the age of 40.

Carlito is now sponsored by Granny Smith apples. (Side note: I actually live about two miles from where Granny Smith apples originated. Yep, that's my claim to fame.)

Brian Kendrick was due to take part in this match but was taken out at short notice after he tested positive for smoking marijuana for the 17th time in the past three years.

CM Punk (c) vs. Edge vs. John Morrison vs. Jeff Hardy - World Heavyweight Championship

Edge, now getting ready to retire at 41 years of age, is returning after taking time off because he felt a little "banged up." Over the last five years, Edge has only been an active wrestler for a total of 14 months, always returning in time for WrestleMania.

Jeff Hardy violated the Wellness Policy for a third time after being in title matches for two years straight without winning the title once. Vince McMahon immediately reinstated him on a "technicality."

John Morrison has been working on his abs over the last few years, and he now has a 10-pack. He's hoping to get to 12 by the end of the year.

Punk's heel turn hasn't quite finished yet. As Jev said, he's still a "cankle."

Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena vs. Jack Swagger vs. Ted DiBiase Jr. vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston - Elimination Chamber for the  WWE Championship

Ted DiBiase did eventually turn face against Randy Orton, but went running back to him when Orton said he was reuniting the old Legacy stable.

At the last PPV, there was a match between John Cena and Randy Orton, which Orton won with an RKO through an announce table. The Miz came to the ring afterwards and declared that there was going to be a Last Man Standing match right there and then with John Cena.

Cena didn't move and The Miz claimed to have beaten Cena yet again. He now says his record over John Cena is 148-1.

Jack Swagger cut a classic promo on last week's episode of RAW, saying "John Thena thinks he'th tho thpecial! I'm gonna kick his ath at Night Of Championth!"

All in all, the future of WWE looks bright, but they still need to continue developing wrestlers so they constantly have some fresh superstars being established each year.

I hope you enjoyed my vision of the future! Please feel free to comment below.