It's Settled: LeBron James is a Weenie!

LeBron James really is incredible.

Want proof? He actually got me to write about the NBA.

There is a reason those of you who read on the NBA have never read anything from me. And there is a reason those of you who read my work cannot remember an NBA article from me.

It is because I do not care much about a league that shows ridiculous favouritism toward its stars. For instance, the most famous shot by the most famous NBA player of all time distinctly shows MJ pushing Brian Russell down to make the series-clinching shot.

Oh, wait—the NHL also favours its stars, especially when it comes to discipline, and I do care about hockey. Okay, wait with me until I find another justification...

How about this? In the NHL, road teams can compete and the different teams make the playoffs every year. The players are not narcissistic, it is faster and more physical, and of course the intensity of the playoffs is unmatched in any sport.

I did alright there, didn't I?

And speaking of narcissism, we can get back to my point. LeBron James, touted as one of the good guys of the NBA, would be derided for his pettiness if he played hockey.

People's Evidence No. 1: He's a front-runner

LeBron grew up near Cleveland and knows the anguish of the fan base that pays his ample salary. No championship in any sport for over 50 years, Jordan's shot over Craig Ehlo, the Indians losing in seven to the Marlins, the Browns leaving town...

Yet he proudly wore a Yankees hat on a number of occasions, and declared himself a fan. A fan of the Evil Empire, the richest franchise in American sports.

The team that had been in the playoffs in every season for over a decade because of the advantage that wealth gives them—it takes real stones to root for a perennial winner. The team that knocked the hometown Indians out of the playoffs more than once.

The prime team in the city he has been flirting with when he should be focused on helping the team he is actually on...

People's Evidence No. 2: He is a two-timer

To be flirting with another team in the offseason is one thing. To openly court them while still in a relationship with another is just plain wrong.

To make matters worse, he is flirting with one of the most disastrous teams in the history of the NBA. The Knicks are poorly run—over the cap and still one of the worst in the league.

Yet he makes it clear that he feels a bad team in a bigger city is alluring enough to consider over his hometown team that has been in the NBA Finals once and had the best record another time in the last three seasons. He even talked about his biggest game being a regular season performance in the rival city.

People's Evidence No. 3: He is a sore loser

It is one thing for him to walk off the court without shaking the hand of his vanquishers at the end of a series. In the NHL, Sidney Crosby got into trouble for this even though he is the youngest captain ever, was being pulled aside for an interview, and had the whole Cup-awarding ceremony to deal with.

LeBron had none of that to contend with, but could not be magnanimous for even a minute before storming off the court to sulk. And he made it worse the next day by saying that he had done nothing wrong.

“I'm a winner. It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that...It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand.”

No, LeBron, you are a loser. You lost the series, and you do not understand that it is being a poor sport not to congratulate the team that you lost to fair and square. That action is the only one that does make sense.

People's Evidence Number Four: He is a big baby

Now we find out that he cannot even handle having tape out there of a college sophomore dunking on him in his skills camp. And do not bother telling me this is Nike.

First-hand accounts are that after being dunked on, LeBron talked to a man from Nike in a strained voice and then suddenly the tapes were confiscated. But for the sake of argument, let's imagine that it was not LeBron pleading with Nike to keep the video from hitting YouTube, but the other way around.

Would Nike not defer to LeBron's wishes? After all, they have nothing to lose—only LeBron's ego was challenged, only LeBron's reputation was at stake.

And they cited the rules against taping...puh-LEASE! The taping was going on and allowed until that very moment. That is like justifying pulling over the minority driver for speeding when you did not pull over any of the white drivers by saying there is a law against it.

Thus, it is pretty certain it is LeBron who wanted this tape to go away. How insecure is a person who cannot handle one moment he was shown up in a pickup game? How little character does such a person have, and what are the bounds of his poor sportsmanship?

Never mind—I am too afraid to have you answer that. Let's just leave it at LeBron is a weenie and look for a real man to anoint king.