Quick Hit's 2009 NBA Draft Drinking Game

We’ve got a proposal for David Stern—move Thursday’s NBA draft across the coast from NYC to LA. Think about it: warm weather, sunshine, beaches, Hollywood, girls in bikinis, all those little Laker car flags everywhere…wait a minute. Scratch that last one, I guess.

But seriously, LA is a much better basketball city right now. It’s home to the NBA champion Lakers, while even the red-headed stepchild Clippers hold the No.1 overall pick in the draft. The Knicks? Danilo Gallinari and a bunch of fingers crossed for LeBron next summer. See what we mean?

Our point is this: It’s summer and the league needs to embrace that. Make the draft a party in LA instead of a stuffy suit and tie event in NYC. Have girls from Venice Beach hand in the teams’ draft picks. Let Conan O’Brien announce the picks. Stock the green room with cocai—err, scratch that last one again.

Anyway, in an effort to encourage the “party” atmosphere that the draft needs, I’ve gone ahead and devised a little game you can play at home. What kind of game? A drinking game, that’s what kind of game!

If you’re say, a Cavaliers fan, you were probably already planning on drinking heavily. You know…because they couldn’t win the title. If that’s the case, drink away. For the rest of us, I’ve got some fun rules to keep you on your toes—and that will probably end up putting you on your back like the Cavs by the last pick (Ouch! Too soon?). Here we go.


MATERIALS (WHAT YOU NEED)

TV (I’d suggest one without HD unless you want to be creeped by Stuart Scott’s lazy eye all day)

ALCOHOL (my personal preference is to play with beer, but hey, pick your poison)

CONTAINER (a beer can is our go to choice but for those tipplers with more refined tastes a mug might be preferred but a plastic cup or even cupped hands will do the trick)

FRIENDS (unless you’re into the whole drinking alone thing…I’m looking at you, Cavs fans)

THE RULES

A. When your team is on the clock:

*Drink once each minute before they make their pick

*Drink once when the Commish announces the pick

*Drink five if it’s a lottery pick

*Drink five if your team trades out of their spot

*Drink 10 if your team has no first round pick

B. When another team is on the clock:

*Drink once if a player from your college/state is selected

*Drink once each time the Commish announces a pick

*Drink again if it’s a lottery pick

*Drink twice for each trade

C. Throughout the rest of the broadcast coverage:

1. Drink ONCE

*If they show a player in the green room

*And again if he’s on a cell phone

*Again if he’s the last player there

*If they show workout footage

*And again if it involves a player posting up a chair

*For each Cavs/LeBron not winning the title reference

*And again if you’re a Cavs fan

*When they show grainy/blurry/Blair Witch-style footage of foreign players

*Whenever Dick Vitale yells about something, anything

*Whenever an analyst uses any of the following words or phrases:

upside
bust
wingspan
elite
explosive
versatility
NBA-ready
basketball IQ
natural scorer
floor leader

2. Drink TWICE

*When a foreign player or college senior is selected

*For each member of a draftee’s posse shown

*Twice more for each child a draftee is shown to have

*And twice more for each high-five exchanged with said posse

*If the player selected has a super-hot girlfriend (think Casey Jacobsen in 2002)

*For each horrible/tacky/flamboyant/etc. suit worn by draftees

3. Drink FIVE

*When the last player in the green room is selected

*If there is a blockbuster trade (think All-Stars, top-five picks, etc.)

*The first time Spike Lee is shown

* When they mention President Obama is a hoops fan and might be watching or the broadcasters make any other reference to No. 44's playing days in Hawaii or his UNC basketball bracket or his recent hosting of LeBron or upcoming visit by the Lakers (Just start pounding now)

4. FINISH your drink

*If the Clips don’t select Blake Griffin

*Hell, just finish your drink anyway… it’s the Clippers

(Credits: drinking game by John Buckley.)

Sound fun? Hope so. It’s a surefire way to lighten up your Thursday evening and wreck your Friday morning. So what if you wake up a little hung over—it worked for the guys in The Hangover! So…do you think you can handle this? Got any suggestions for rules? Predictions for the draft? Let us know in the comment section below!