A Cleveland Fan in Pittsburgh: Stranger in a Strange Land (Humor)

It was a long weekend, but a good one.

I’m a fan of the Dave Matthews Band, and they spent this past weekend playing at an amphitheater in Burgettstown, an outlying suburb of Pittsburgh. To regional readers, it’s the Post-Gazette Pavilion. To anyone over the age of 30, it’s Starlake.

Anyway, I’m tailgating with my friends in the parking lot wearing neutral clothing. I didn’t wear any of my Cleveland apparel because I just didn’t feel like getting into arguments. I just wanted to relax and have a good time.

Right next to us, though, a huge SUV pulled up and out came a bunch of guys and girls in Indians hats and Browns T-shirts. It was high fives all around.

Then I saw a bunch of Steelers flags getting raised, Pens Championship T-shirts, and some super-fan with a homemade Stanley Cup mounted to the hood of their car, riding around the parking lot and beeping the horn.

So I sank into my lawn chair and reflected on all the championships the Pittsburgh fans have gotten in the last 50 years versus how many Cleveland has achieved.

I didn’t like the numbers.

As I walked through the lot, I did see a few more Cleveland fans banding together against the overwhelming tide of black and yellow.

Now I wish I would’ve put on my Orange and Brown and fought the good fight, but there’s always next year, as we say in Cleveland.

Fast forward to the end of the two-night stand, and the DMB blogs are calling the second night at Starlake the best show the band has played in 10 years, taking the title from a New York venue.

Yep, once again Pittsburgh gets the championship.

Keeping in the spirit of my weekend, I’m going to take a bunch of DMB songs and relate them to the Cleveland Browns.

Don’t Drink The Water

This is a song about the removal of Native Americans as the Europeans pushed westward. This song also can be interpreted as a retelling of Art Modell buying the Browns and slowly removing anything resembling a professional football team, prompting the greatest running back in history, Jim Brown, to retire early to pursue a career in acting.

This is a song teased a lot, but only showing up in its full glory on very rare occasions. This is a song about Derek Anderson.

It's a crowd favorite; I’ve always interpreted this to be a plea to move on after a bad relationship and get over the past. This is definitely a song about Browns fans.

Let You Down

This song, which hasn’t been played live since 1997, sums up what the Browns do to their fans every year.

Digging A Ditch

I’m pretty sure this is what the Indians are doing right now, so I’m just going to leave this one alone in case it’s contagious.

Fool To Think

This is another song title that perfectly encapsulates our playoff dreams every year.

Lie In Our Graves

This is a song that actually touches on the theme of seizing the day and the belief that too many people pass up those chances and just let life get the best of them. Of course, as the title implies, Browns fans usually expire without ever experiencing true joy.

So, is Dave Matthews secretly a Browns fan?

DMB plays Blossom at the end of July, about 25 minutes south of Cleveland. I’ll be there, hoping the band comes through and plays the best show of their career for the hopeful fans of Cleveland.

We deserve it.