Jesus Edges Paul Pierce in Two Week Game Of Horse

A sharpshooting battle of Biblical proportions ended Wednesday when Paul Pierce failed to connect on what proved to be the deciding shot in a game of Horse against Jesus Christ.

After thirteen days of back and forth trick shots, the Messiah bested the Truth with a blindfolded skyhook from the opposite free throw line. Pierce's attempt rimmed out, giving the Celtics forward an "E" and sealing the heavenly victory.

Pierce took an early lead in the contest on day four when he drained a shot from a seat in the upper level of TD Banknorth Garden. Jesus followed with an ugly effort that clanked off the front of the rim and left him trailing Pierce, nothing to "R."

When Pierce flashed an apparent gang sign to celebrate, a bolt of lightning suddenly crashed through the roof of the arena and severed three fingers on his left hand.

The Son of God took advantage of Pierce's misfortune and won four shots over the next six days. Pierce then knocked down a shot from the visitor's locker room that turned out to be the equalizer when Jesus—outfitted in a Moses Malone jersey—responded with an airball.

Pierce's Boston teammate Kevin Garnett looked on, pounded his chest and shot a menacing glare at Jesus while emitting a string of profanity.

But just when Jesus appeared to be dead and gone, he rose to the challenge. The two opponents matched each other shot for shot over the tense next several days.

Finally, after Pierce's between-the-legs effort from midcourt was mysteriously redirected by a sudden gust of wind, the Savior stepped slowly out to the free throw line and wrapped a blindfold around his head. His proceeding skyhook sailed across the arena where it found nothing but net on the other end of the floor.

The epic match finally ended on the next shot when Pierce was unable to replicate Jesus's otherworldly effort. After the ball bounced out of the rim, Pierce dove to the floor and pleaded for a foul.

None was called.

Jesus's victory was applauded worldwide as an upset for the ages. "I didn't think he had a prayer," TNT NBA analyst Charles Barkley said after the game. Pope Benedict XVI hailed the win, maintaining that he knew heaven would take it all along. "I never lost faith," he said.