My Complete Circle: From a Member To a Senior Writer

I wrote my first article in B/R around seven months ago about my first time crush on Roger Federer and tennis. Looking back, it seems to be a thing of the distant past and sometimes when I read it over again it appears ridiculously childish, yet it is my most favourite among what I have written to date.

The article is neither laced with superlatives nor has some great usage and tweaking of the words, but still I hold it close to my heart because it set the "Writer Wheel" in me in motion; it got me my first POTD from the Community Leader: Long John Silver and got me first fan add.

I was so happy with the end results that I kept on yakking about it to my friends and family for days and days on end. Dwelling on those memories now, I realise I was so naive and eager to please everyone in the site that I kept on thinking and thinking various topics to contribute.

And contribute, I did! When some of the articles used to fail my expectations, I used to write with an even more frenzy and double the speed in order to repair the damage.

While doing that, I never realised that I wasn't giving my brain to relax and ponder over various subjects and definitely not giving enough oxygen to my grey cells to channelise and form coherent thoughts.

My articles became ramblings with most of them oozing my love for Federer and my steadfast devotion to him. There wasn't any creativity in what I used to write, let alone any difference to the all spoken words, countless times over.

When that didn't work, I tried writing about other players, other sports even other types of articles but the fledgling in me, just didn't take off! And I was so depressed with my lacklustre stint that I even contemplated forgoing the site.

What was the point of writing when no one really enjoyed reading what I presented? What was the point in continuing when the final customer is rejecting the finished product?

I felt like an impostor in the site who was up to no good yet was allowed to sell her wares; a cheat who was caught in the middle of her final act. A total misfit in the world of sports writers and fans who were better off without me.

I cried and cried the whole day when I came to that conclusion; kept on asking myself as to why the hell was I so bad, such an useless git who could never do anything right with any task she chooses to do. [I still get the notion sometimes]

It took a colossal effort from Rob York and Long's one sentence advice ["Rohini, quitting never helps anyone, always remember that!"] to convince me otherwise.

"Quitting never aids", Rob said and "Why do you want to quit", he asked me? "If you think you are that bad, which you really aren't, stay and prove yourself. Your decision to leave forever will justify whatever notions you have assumed and presumed!" This was his final strong statement.

Thanks to their encouragement, I made a fresh start. I started concentrating on cricket in addition to tennis, tried working to bring the domain forward [and am still working], took up responsibility as the Community Leader and tried to learn [work-in-progress] a few tricks of the trade. I must admit  that I love being the C/L and it's one thing that I really look forward to in here.

In the days that followed, I began to do well. This was partly because I finally understood that if I was going in for universal popularity, I was facing a huge wall and partly, because I changed my one-dimensional attitude about my writing skills.

And I couldn't have managed it all alone. I owe my development and my currently placed success to some real gems of people. LJS, Zander, Saraswathi Di, Rob, Jaa, Dann, Sid, Gil, Frankie, Anand, Rajat, Serge and so many others with whom I have got a chance to interact and take lessons from in these past seven months.

Seven Months! Seven Months have elapsed since I made an entrance as a "Member" and in those seven months, post 130 articles, and after notching up the "Senior Writer" tag, my perception and my vision as a writer has changed so much.

These days, when I come across any new posts in my BB for article reads and suggestions, I can't help but think of those days when I used to do that; frankly speaking even now, I do it sometimes though the amount of such posts has drastically reduced.

As a writer, I completely acknowledge the fact that I am still not the very best and have miles and miles of path to improve, but one thing that I can and will definitely promise, that whatever it takes, I will try my hardest to get to the likes of those stalwarts!