Ray Hudson: The Best Commentator in the World

Matthew MaloneyCorrespondent IApril 18, 2009

“How do you describe magic? How do you describe this? It’s virtually impossible. Roman applauds, the ball’s dished off for Tevez, Tevez is begging for it back, Messi sees, I see you mate!, I don’t need you, watch it, perfect pass by Tevez, Tevez is on for the square ball for the tap in, Lionel says no, I fancy a little bit of Roman in the night.

"He picks one out of Riquelme’s genius book. Messi produces the rainbow and there’s a pot of gold at the end of it, that is absolutely pure class in a glass.”

-Ray 'Rocky' Hudson (commentating on his own commentary it seems at first)

Where were you when you first heard Ray Hudson's commentary? A smoky bar in Ecuador? On a television monitor at the side of the bar in an airport lounge? Maybe like me, at home sipping coffee in an armchair on Youtube.

Wherever you were and whenever it was, Ray Hudson has brought tears of laughter to the eyes of hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

Why? Because he is a legend. He is quite simply, the funniest, most enthusiastic, and entertaining man in commentary today (I challenge someone to suggest a more entertaining commentator in any sport).

The Geordie accent, a vocabulary set worthy of Shakespeare in his prime, an in-depth knowledge of irrelevant pop culture references, or just sheer "orgasmatic" excitement whenever the beautiful game is played.... 

This guy was born to be a football commentator. 

Today, as GOLTV's colour commentator alongside his straight-talking sidekick "Pablo", Ray Hudson has made waves in the traditionally backwater side of the Atlantic (in football terms). The irony/injustice is of course that hardly anyone knows about him in Europe, the centre of the footballing world.

In fact that the Geordie first started his football career in the one of the most traditional of footballing cathedrals, St. James' Park, Newcastle.

Unfortunately however, Ray had a relatively uninspiring playing career. "Rocky" made only 40 appearances at his hometown club before he later moved to play in the USA and eventually manage, somewhat successfully there.

But thankfully his real genius was starting to show through in his off the pitch activity and press conferences as coach of Miami Fusion and D.C. United.

His quips, quotes and wit were greedily gobbled up by the small soccer press there. Famously, he hilariously once said "someone get me a blindfold and cigarette" shortly before he was sacked in his last managerial post at D.C.

Could anyone imagine Rafael Benitez or Arsene Wenger ever saying something like that if they were about to get fired?!

Ray Hudson is the exact thing fans need at the moment. A comedian-cum-commentator should be worth his weight in goldust in these tough times and I for one would scream like a little girl if I ever heard him commentating on an otherwise rubbish Stoke v. Blackburn game on Sky (I'd probably record the commentary and put it on my ipod)

How did Britain allow its greatest commentator end up on an obscure Latino PPV satellite channel in the US?! (HOW?!) GOLTV fans must be the luckiest in the world and here I am putting up with Trevor Francis and Jim Beglin week to week.

Any man that uses the phrase "like a Jedi knight" or “It wouldn’t get any more exciting here now if Elvis himself showed up in a matador’s outfit” is a legend in my book. But then again Ray would disagree and probably tell me to "roll my book up and smoke it".

See more Rocky quotes here, the guy is sensational! Also, I strongly suggest Youtube, there's a plethora of videos there you gotta see before you die!


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