No Worries, Bro: 5 Fights for Jeremy Stephens at Featherweight

If years were salad dressings, 2012 would surely be bottled hippopotamus leavings for one Jeremy Stephens.

He had a bad year, is what I'm trying to say. Not a good year for the Jeremy Stephens. What happened to him?

In May, he was taunted and battered by Donald Cerrone. In December, Yves Edwards knocked him out. Oh, and in October, on the original day he was supposed to fight Edwards, police arrested and held Stephens on an old assault charge.

Total BS, though, bro. The cops were setting him up. All he did was almost beat another dude to death. Long story short, the fight was cancelled, but not until after Dana White made a protracted and very public bid to swing a deal to bust him out that fell very publicly short. It's almost like Jeremy Stephens wasn't a 2003 Corolla.

Confronted with a three-fight losing streak and the possibility of losing his job amid what will presumably be some costly legal struggles, Stephens pulled the classic sleight-of-hand maneuver so familiar to the UFC journeyman contingent: He is planning to change weight classes—in this case, a drop to featherweight. 

Here are five possible opponents for the inevitable grand rebirth for Stephens at 145 pounds.

5. Steven Siler

A submissions ace, Steven Siler was last seen being outclassed by Darren Elkins. Still, it was only the second loss in the past three years for the tough-minded Siler. I'm sure he'd be happy to welcome Stephens to the featherweight division. 

4. Jimy Hettes

Jimy Hettes just suffered his first professional loss in September, to Marcus Brimage. I'm sure the young judoka would love to get that hype train back on track. He's got the takedowns and ground-and-pound to do just that against Stephens, if he can avoid those lethal fists. 

3. Loser Between Hatsu Hioki and Clay Guida

Clay Guida, in particular, could be an engaging foil for Stephens, assuming we get Diego Sanchez Guida and not Gray Maynard Guida.

There's a good chance, however, that either man could outgrapple Stephens fairly easily. It would still be interesting, though.  

2. Bart Palaszewski

Bonus hunter and ink-shirt wearer Bart Palaszewski has lost two straight and currently has no opponent. This could be a loser-leaves-town proposition, which stinks for the fighters but adds plenty of spice for us viewers.

1. Nam Phan

If the weight drop doesn't hamper Stephens' vaunted punching power too much, a slugfest with the technically adept Phan would be an entertaining contest.