Home, Sweet Homestand: Lakers Return to Los Angeles

"There are more things in the NBA, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." 

There must be collusion. There's no possible way this could happen randomly. Greg Popovich will probably demand a Board of Inquiry. Mark Cuban will call for a Senate Panel to investigate corruption at the league office.

With no less than eight teams packed no more than 5 1/2 games apart, the Los Angeles Lakers, the team at the top of the Western Conference, find themselves with the sweetest home schedule of all.

Having limped home Friday night, tired and depleted after a grueling road trip with four top Western contenders, the Lakers were faced with the revitalizing task of playing 11 of their last 14 games in the friendly confines of the Staples Center.

After handily disposing of the Supersonics, 130-105, the rejuvenated Lakers now get ready to play 10 of their last 13 games at home. One of the games is an away game with the Clippers, the Lakers co-tenant at the Staples Center.

But how can this be?

It's been hinted that David Stern's secret desire all along has been a return to the Lakers-Celtics rivalry of years past. Wow! Chamberlain against Russell. Bird against Magic. Now Kobe against K.G. The ratings will be unbelievable.

But collusion? Ah, come on. How can that be? Well, remember that trade for Pau Gasol? You know, the one where Greg Popovich volunteered to chair an NBA Trade Approval Committee.

Yeah, there was something fishy about the way Stern turned his back and let that one go through.

And then there was that recent four-game road trip. The contending owners fervently prayed to the basketball gods to step in and reverse the wrong that had been done.

And the gods answered their prayers.

Down went the aforementioned Gasol with a sprained ankle in the first quarter of the Lakers game against the Hornets, who finally prevailed. And then, the Lakers went into Houston and became the Rockets' twenty-second consecutive victim.

Ah, the owners were delirious, overjoyed. The Lakers had to face Dallas and Utah on the road without Bynum, without Ariza and now without Gasol. Surely, Kobe’s crew would go 0-4, and a new Western Conference leader would emerge.

But, not so fast, my friends. Suddenly, Vlad Radmanovic, Ronny Turiaf, Jordan Farmar, and Sasha Vujacic emerged off the Laker bench and started playing lights out.

Lamar Odom, who had been until then a steady performer at best, unleashed a heretofore unseen energy, jumping high in the air for rebounds, slam dunking with authority and, yes, even hitting three-pointers.

In a game that went down to the wire, Vlad Radmanovic hit three consecutive three-pointers late in the fourth quarter. Then Dirk Nowitzki’s last-second shot behind the arc hit the backboard and bounced into Odom’s waiting arms, and the Lakers had edged Dallas 102-100

Something was definitely amiss. Why didn’t gods direct that Nowitzki shot into the basket?

Okay, onto Utah, where the Jazz had a 19-game home-winning streak, and they were at full strength with Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur returning to the lineup. Tired and still without a big man in the middle, the Lakers were surely dead meat.

Then, inexplicably, Ronny Turiaf played the middle as though he were seven-foot tall, giving Odom support on the defensive boards, blocking shots and grabbing rebounds. Vlad Radmanovic played another outstanding game as did Sasha Vujacic and Jordan Farmar.

The Lakers sprinted out to a 20-point lead at the end of the first quarter, and the Jazz could never catch up. Their 19-game home-winning streak ended with a resounding 106-95 Laker victory.

It just didn’t add up. How were these Lakers flying around on such tired legs? Hadn’t they been playing short-handed and way over their heads?

And what about Kobe Bryant’s finger? How come he can make incredible shots, grab rebounds, dribble around defenders and make perfect assists to his teammates?

There has got to be only one explanation. David Stern has sold his soul.

Yes, you have read it here first. The venerable commissioner of the NBA so desires a Lakers – Celtics championship series that he has sold his immortal soul.

Ridiculous, you say. Then why doesn’t he force the Clippers to play their home game with the Lakers in Nome, Alaska or Iceland? And make the Lakers travel there by dogsled.

Stern has said on numerous occasions that he would like to see a worldwide NBA. Well, think of it, a Lakers – Clippers game in Iceland.

If Stern refuses, there may be a counter measure the other contenders can take. Greg Popovich and Mark Cuban can sell their souls. Of course, there might not be much of a market for Cuban’s.

I wonder how Avery Johnson feels about that.

Anyway, if there isn’t some kind of intervention soon, home sweet home could prove to be no sweat at home for the Lakers.