An Idiot's Guide to the NCAA Tournament: Learn 10 of the Most Used Terms

AN IDIOT'S GUIDE TO THE NCAA TOURNAMENT will help the beginner understand the buzz words that are used throughout the weeks prior to the Tournament and during the Tournament.

The following are 10 of the most used terms and phrases:

ON THE BUBBLE...or ON THE BUBBLY...refers to the fan who can't take their favorite team making an early exit from the NCAA Tournament and such person picks up a bottle of champagne. He or she is said to be "On the Bubble."

MARCH MADNESS...a mood disorder usually occuring in women who feel abanded by their significant others during March and lasting into April. Such women complain that when trying to inintiate communication...their partner's response is, "quiet, the game's in overtime".

FINAL FOUR...this was the name the Beatles wanted to go by when original drummer, Pete Best, was replaced by Ringo. After Best departed, the group became committed to not making any more personel changes and felt "FINAL FOUR" was a great name.  Manager Brian Epstein convinced the group to stay with the name "Beatles".

MID-MAJOR...used to define the new major one realizes they have to change to because physics becomes to difficult. This usually occurs in the middle of the second semester when one watches too much of the NCAA Tournament and doesn't concentrate on their studies...thus the term "mid-major."

RATINGS PERCENTAGE INDEX..."RPI"...not to be confused with Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute located in Troy, New York. This year, Kentucky thought that the term was RIP, and played appropriately!

AUTOMATIC BID...used in bridge where when East opens with three no-trump or higher—West is forced to respond. This is the opposite of an AT LARGE BID where West does not have to respond when East opens with anything less than three no-trump. This has nothing to do with the NCAA Tournament except that the NCAA adopted their designations of East and West, from the game of bridge.

The NCAA chose to go with "Midwest" and "Southeast" instead of North and South, as bridge does.

Also used to mean an offer made on a car that doesn't have a manual transmission.

FIELD OF 64...once again we are made aware of the Beatles. This was a lost track that was recently found and its title is "Field of 64." This is a mixture of two of the old Beatles songs: "Strawberry Fields" and "When I'm 64."

LIVE TO PLAY ANOTHER DAY...when parents were still allowed to spank their kids they usually asked them if they wanted to "Live to Play Another Day" before resorting to spanking. This usually worked!

BRACKETS...part of the saying "I'm Losing My Brackets"...used by fans when a team or teams, that one picks, is eliminated in the early rounds of the NCAA Tournament.  Such fans can be heard shrieking in pain, "Help, I'm Losing My Brackets".

ALSO:

No 1 SEED...highly effective kernel used for growing flowers and plants.

IT'S CRUNCH TIME...used by announcers, in the fourth quarter, to let fans know they are tired and need a Nestle's Crunch Bar for quick energy.