NBA All-Star Break Awards...Where's Your Favorite Player?

As I fight through this mid-winter annoyance commonly referred to as a cold, I wonder why the heck I keep getting sick at All-Star break.

Two seasons ago, I had one of my worst colds throughout February, and fortunately, it went away around my birthday, Mar. 19.

Last February was the worst because I had Salmonella from eating bad hamburger from a well-known restaurant I won't mention. While Superman Howard was winning the dunk contest throwing the ball at the rim, I had a fever of 103, chills, and could barely move.

Now I have this annoying cold, but that won't stop me from doing my award column and watching the festivities Saturday night. Let's just say I'm taking a hiatus from any meat this weekend.

Anyhoo, I heard one of the best comparisons recently that I can't help but mention.

Doug Gottlieb, who normally annoys me with his matter-of-factish, I know every facet of college basketball prowess, if you will, was asked who would he take out of Blake Griffin, Hasheem Thabeet. and Tyler Hansbrough.

Dumb question, as anyone with two-eyes and a smidgen of basketball knowledge would pick Griffin as Gottlieb did, but he compared Hansbrough to Tim Tebow.

Genius.

A transcendent college player who rewrote the books and brings it every game, but don't seem to be good professional talents. It seems like an obvious comparison, but I haven't heard anyone else say it.

Maybe they can each link up with a superior who suffered the same fate, and pick their brain to figure out what they could do differently.

I'd pick former Nebraska standout Tommie Frazier for Tebow and Michael Beasley for Hansbrough (joking ha ha). No, really I'd pick Robert "Tractor" Traylor for Hansbrough.

Kordell Stewart could work for Tebow also. Wouldn't it be fun to see a reality show called, "How Not to End Up Like Me" starring Stewart and Traylor. Maybe Jamal Anderson could show them how to have fun.

Maybe not.

Okay, I'm done rambling. How about the NBA this season?

It's been amazing as usual, and I feel like the Enzyte guy, Smilin' Bob, watching it unfold. Seriously, why do they show those commercials at 4 PM?

The worst nightmare for a father is to have this exchange:

Kid: Dad, why is he smiling so much?

Father: Because he's happy, Andy.

Kid: About what?

Father: Uh, because, um, well, let's just say his wife loves him.

And I thought that Janet's wardrobe malfunction destroyed children's innocence.

Back to the NBA, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant have waged an all-out war we haven't seen since Magic and Larry, seriously.

Wasn't that snippet of them complementing each other at halftime of Sunday's game like an awkward bromance gone interestingly wrong?

Seriously, how much did ESPN have to pay those guys to do that? Of course they admire each others talents, but they are competitors who really want to beat each other.

LeBron deserved an Emmy for stating the obvious when he said, "we're competitors, and we want to win." Kobe responded something like, "I would be doing him an injustice if I didn't come hard at him."

What?

I would rather watch them both liquored up after the ESPY's backstage with Bill Walton and Michael Wilbon in tow, arguing over who had the worst teammates.

Kobe: "My teammates are worse. Try going into the most hyped NBA Finals since Jordan and getting your arse handed to you while Pau Girl-sol and Lamar Lost my Scr-Odom were scared of K.G and that face he does."

(Wilbon cuts his eye to LeBron waiting for counter like he does Kornheiser when he says something good in Over/Under)

LeBron: "Well try going one-on-one with the most prolific defensive team in a Game 7 at their court, only to be showed up by Paul Pierce while your team loses their heart by the second like the Tin Man."

Kobe: "You have a point, but nothing on us."

(Walton starts to talk, and everyone promptly walks away)

If Bryant and James don't finish 1-2 in the MVP award, then it doesn't snow in Rochester. (It's snowing now)

We've watched Kevin Durant and Jeff Green mature before our eyes, the Grizzlies look like they do every year, the Cavs make it happen with Mo and the Celtics look a year younger.

Without further tangent, here are your 2009 All-Star break awards.

The Jamal Anderson Award for "Way To Destroy Yourself With No Dignity"

Stephon Marbury, New York Knicks (20 of 20 First Place Votes)

I don't know why I continue to waste valuable column space on this guy, but somehow he deserves it. He was my NBA LVP last season (Least Valuable Player) and could easily be back there again.

He's making Kobe money to just sit on the bench donning Ed Hardy tees, claims he really wants to play but won't take a small pay cut to be bought out, makes false claims that the Celtics are interested in him and sincerely believes he'll play.

Isiah Thomas probably has a price on this guy's head, and soon Mike D'Antoni and Donnie Walsh will join that list. They already have.

The Coldplay Award for "Consistency When Nobody Expects It Even Though They Should"

Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs (19 of 20 First Place Votes)

If this guy isn't the most consistent PF in NBA history, then the girl Chris Brown cheated on Rihanna with isn't fine. (Keshia Chante is her name, Google her, trust me)

Here is Duncan's stats this season:

50 games, 20.8 ppg, 10.5 rpg, 3.9 apg, 1.8 bpg, 52% fg's

Compare that to his 12 year career stats:

21.6 ppg, 11.8 rpg, 3.2 apg, 2.4 bpg, 51% fg's

This guy has been around this long and has almost identical numbers to his whole career average? Amazing. Include all of the playoff games and the pounding big men take and give, and you have a new Hakeem Olajuwon. Well maybe not new.

Combine this with the fact that people write the Spurs off every year and they keep competing with the top teams of the West with seemingly old players, and there you have it.

Tim Duncan is a special, twice in a lifetime talent who is consistent as they come. Just like Coldplay, you think they have made their last huge push, and then comes Viva La Vida.

The Fray Award for "We Made Such A Phenomenal Debut That It's Nearly Impossible to Repeat It"

The New Orleans Hornets (18 of 20 First Place Votes)

Last year around this time, the MVP debate was heating up as the seemingly out of clear space Hornets were fighting for the No. 1 seed in the West led by Chris Paul against Kobe's Lakers.

The Hornets won 56 games, and very nearly eliminated the San Antonio Spurs in last year's playoffs. Paul was ridiculous, averaging nearly 22 points and 12 assists.

Nobody expected them to be such a good squad last year, and they crept up on everyone. There was to be no creeping this season, as everyone knew what they were capable of.

As a result, injuries and reality have the Hornets underachieving a little with a 30-20 record, seventh in the West. Paul and Chandler have been hurt, but David West is again an All-Star and they added James Posey.

Of course everyone expects you to repeat your performances from last year, but that's why season's aren't played on paper.

The Maury Povich Award for "Overused Shtick That No Longer Works"

Shawn Marion, Miami Heat (15 of 20 First Place Votes)

I won't say much about this but three things:

1. Here are Marion's last two season stats:

07-08 PHX, MIA- 15 ppg, 10.1 rpg, 2.3 apg, 1.6 spg

08-09 MIA- 12 ppg, 8.7 rpg, 1.8 apg, 1.3 spg

2. Numbers fell across the board without Steve Nash.

3. Awkward game has seemed to be to his detriment this season, as he's accustomed to be fed the ball by a PG, something the Heat don't have yet.

Mario Chalmers shows promise, but he's no Nash. Bottom line, Marion's whole game works off of other players setting him up.

The Carmelo Anthony Award for "I've Grown As A Player but Nobody Seems to Notice"

Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets (20 of 20 First Place Votes)

Anthony was shafted as an All-Star this season again, and he's usually the subject of snub conversations, but none as apparent as this season.

Yes, he was injured at the time this team was chosen, but so what? The guy has done nothing but go out and take less shots, make a higher percentage and help get his teammates involved.

Yes, Chauncey Billups is a factor, but he gets way too much credit for it. The Nuggets were always talented, but needed a leader to come in there and show them their way out of the foxhole.

Billups has been that, but Melo needs more credit for putting selfishness to the side and wanting to win.

Here's Melo's stats this season compared to last:

08-09- 21.8 ppg, 7 rpg, 3.7 apg, 44% fg, 40% 3 pt., 36-17 rec.

07-08- 25.7 ppg, 7.4 rpg, 3.4 apg, 49% fg, 35% 3 pt., 50-32 rec.

The glaring differences are the Nuggets currently being 3rd in the West as compared to 8th last season, and 5 percent better 3 point shooting. His point-per-game average is down because he's shooting less.

2007: 22.4 FGA per game

2008: 17.0 FGA per game

Nuff spoken.

The Ryan Reynolds Award for "I'm Good At What I Do, Even If I Don't Get the Attention I Deserve For It"

Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

We all keep talking about how good Kobe and LeBron have been, and how good guys like Jameer Nelson and Mo Williams have been in helping lead their respective teams to the top of the league, but nobody's talking about Durant.

Maybe because he plays for a cellar team in the Thunder, and we as a sports culture have a fascination with teams who are winning. Honestly, Billups over Durant in the All-Star game? That's a direct spin-off of overall record, which isn't fair.

If Durant had guys like Carmelo and Nene to play with, he'd have a winning record too.

It's like how people don't talk about Ryan Reynolds, but know he was good in Just Friends" especially how he jumped on Chris Klein at the church when he was angered about what he was doing to Amy Smart, Van Wilder, and X-Men Origins.

Durant just keeps giving opponents the business, averaging over 30 ppg this month and actually winning a few games.

Couple that with the fact that this guy is as skinny as my 16-year-old cousin, and ladies and gents, we have a superb basketball talent. If you don't believe me, check his numbers.

There are the All-Star break awards, and congrats to the winners. I'll be back with a Dwyane Wade-like vengeance at the end of the season to give out more of my coveted awards, but until then enjoy the festivities.

I'm out like Brett Favre. At least for now.