NBA Untouchables: 1 Player from Every Team Who Is off the Trading Block

There's usually one player from every team that would inspire a certain reaction when he's included in a certain trade proposal. These are those untouchable players, the ones who make their general managers hang up when their names are spoken over the phone. 

With the exception of two teams, each of the 30 squads in the NBA have a member of the "Untouchables."

Read on to find out who they are. 

Atlanta Hawks: Al Horford

Rick Sund picks up the phone.  

"I absolutely understand why you're calling about Al Horford. I really do. 

If it wasn't for his torn pectoral muscle this season, we may have actually been a higher seed in the playoffs and avoided those Boston Celtics. Ugh, that team frustrates me to no end. 

You know, Horford is still only 26 and he's already made an All-NBA team. 

Can I interest you in Joe Johnson's mega-contract instead?" 

Hangs up. 

Boston Celtics: Rajon Rondo

Danny Ainge picks up the phone. 

"Have you seen how Rajon Rondo has been putting up the triple-doubles for us this playoffs? Do you really think we'd have a lead on the Miami Heat without him? 

Does your point guard get 10 rebounds? Does he make passes that I can't even imagine when I'm dreaming? Does he shoot the ball as well as Ray Allen used to? 

Okay, fine. My point guard doesn't do that last one either..."

But still. You ain't getting him.  

Hangs up. 

Brooklyn Nets: MarShon Brooks

Billy King picks up the phone. 

"If you're asking about MarShon Brooks, you're wasting my time.

I have more important things to deal with this offseason, like figuring out how to get Deron Williams to stay on my team and have more than three people actually on the roster." 

Hangs up. 

Charlotte Bobcats: Kemba Walker

Rick Cho picks up the phone. 

"Are you sure there's no one else on our team you want? 

Really? Kemba Walker is the only player? There is no one else? 

Ugh, how did I get stuck with this job again?"

Hangs up. 

Chicago Bulls: Derrick Rose

Gar Forman picks up the phone. 

"Derrick Rose is better than anyone on your team, even if his knee never recovers and he's forced to hop down the court on one leg. 

The only way that I would even think about trading him to you is if you could convince Joakim Noah to cut his hair and shave so I could finally convince the city of Chicago to put our entire team's picture up on billboards."

Hangs up. 

Cleveland Cavaliers: Kyrie Irving

Chris Grant doesn't even pick up the phone. 

Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki

Donnie Nelson picks up the phone. 

"I totally understand why you have so much interest in Dirk Nowitzki, but he's almost a landmark for the city of Dallas at this point in his career. 

Ever since we traded Robert Traylor for him on draft day back in 1998, he's been so incredibly loyal to this franchise. That's a loyalty that I have no choice but to reciprocate. 

Dirk is a Dallas Maverick and the Dallas Mavericks are Dirk. Sorry I can't help more."

Hangs up. 

Denver Nuggets: Ty Lawson

Masai Ujiri picks up the phone. 

"Let me make this answer as quick as Ty Lawson looked against the Los Angeles Lakers in the playoffs. 

No." 

Hangs up. 

Detroit Pistons: Greg Monroe

Joe Dumars picks up the phone. 

"This is the guy we're trying to build the franchise around so we can make the Detroit Pistons as successful as they were back in 2004. 

Greg Monroe has his faults, but he's already one of the best big men in the league and he's still so young. Plus, he's better at passing than any of the guards on my roster..."

Hangs up. 

Golden State Warriors: Klay Thompson

Bob Myers picks up the phone. 

"To be perfectly honest right off the bat, anyone on our roster is available for the right price. Pretty sure we proved that when we dealt Monta Ellis to the Milwaukee Bucks and pissed off a bunch of our fans. 

You can have David Lee, Andrew Bogut or even Stephen Curry and his glass ankles if you give us what we want in return. 

That said, we'd like to hold onto Klay Thompson after the terrific finish he had."

Hangs up. 

Houston Rockets: Kyle Lowry

Daryl Morey picks up the phone. 

"Did you see what Kyle Lowry did before he got hurt last year?" 

*Pause*

"Okay, I just looked it up: 15.6 points, 5.3 rebounds, 7.6 assists. 

You aren't getting that."

Hangs up.

Note: Kyle Lowry has requested a trade or coaching change, so this slide is more about how the Rockets shouldn't trade him. 

Indiana Pacers: Paul George

David Morway picks up the phone. 

"I really like the team we've put together here, but you could probably convince me to trade almost any player on our roster. Please, give me something good for Danny Granger. 

Just stay away from Paul George. He's got so much potential, he's still young and we have him cheap right now." 

Hangs up. 

Los Angeles Clippers: Blake Griffin

There is currently no general manager to pick up the phone for the Los Angeles Clippers. 

I'm not sure anyone would pick up the phone though if they knew it was about trading Blake Griffin away. 

Los Angeles Lakers: Kobe Bryant

Mitch Kupchak picks up the phone. 

"Look, I understand why you have interest in the Black Mamba. But let's be real here. 

He makes the decisions for the Purple and Gold, not me. If he wants to be traded, I'll call you back."

Hangs up. 

Memphis Grizzlies: Marc Gasol

Chris Wallace picks up the phone. 

"Hey there. Really? You want Marc Gasol? 

We did just sign him to a huge contract in restricted free agency and still expect the world from him. It's hard to find a lot of quality centers in this league, so I think we're just going to stick with him for now. 

Call us back in a few years if you're still interested."

Hangs up. 

Miami Heat: LeBron James

Pat Riley picks up the phone. 

He never says a word, instead just choosing to laugh hysterically until his hair gets messed up. 

Hangs up. 

Milwaukee Bucks: Monta Ellis

John Hammond picks up the phone. 

"Uhhh, you know we just traded for Monta Ellis, right? 

Look, you can trade for pretty much everyone else on our team, just stay away from our new fan favorite."

Hangs up. 

Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin Love

David Kahn picks up the phone.

"Kevin Love just put up historic numbers for an entire season and you want me to trade him to you? Get a grip, man. 

No, you can't have Ricky Rubio either. 

Oh...wait...what? I can get Johan Petro and MarShon Brooks for both of them? 

Sure!

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!!!"

Hangs up. 

New Orleans Hornets: Anthony Davis

Dell Demps picks up the phone.

"I know Anthony Davis isn't technically on our roster yet, but you're kidding yourself if you think we're going to draft anyone else. This guy's talent is just off the charts. 

In fact, I've already made my entire staff grow unibrows. There's no turning back now."

Hangs up. 

New York Knicks: Carmelo Anthony

Glen Grunwald picks up the phone. 

"I just spent the last 10 years pursuing Carmelo Anthony, and now you want me to trade him after just a season-and-a-half? Seriously? 

And yes, I know it wasn't actually 10 years. It just felt like it. 

Also, he led us to our first playoff win in forever. That's the goal and he met it." 

Hangs up. 

Oklahoma City Thunder: Kevin Durant

Sam Presti picks up the phone. 

"Did you watch Game 6?" 

Hangs up. 

Orlando Magic: None

There's no general manager to pick up the phone in Orlando right now, but it's not like there's an untouchable player either. 

Dwight Howard is very much on the block and no one else is worth calling "untouchable." 

Philadelphia 76ers: Jrue Holiday

Rod Thorn picks up the phone. 

"Andre Iguodala is always on the block, but you should know better than to ask for Jrue Holiday right now. 

I'm still holding out hope that he's going to end up being one of the best point guards in the NBA one day. After all, he had a pretty decent season this year and he's still only 21 years old."

Hangs up. 

Phoenix Suns: Marcin Gortat

Lance Blanks picks up the phone. 

"I'm drawing a Blanks about who you could offer me that would make me want to give up Marcin Gortat. Yeah, I know that was lame. 

Gortat's hard work is appreciated in the desert, even if he hasn't really received the amount of national attention he deserves. 

Perhaps another season with a 21.21 PER will do the trick."

Hangs up. 

Portland Trail Blazers: LaMarcus Aldridge

Neil Olshey picks up the phone. 

"I'm going to assume that this is a crank call, seeing as this is the first call I've taken as the general manager of the Portland Trail Blazers."

Hangs up. 

Sacramento Kings: DeMarcus Cousins

Geoff Petrie picks up the phone. 

"DeMarcus Cousins may be a head case, but he's one of the most talented young big men in the league. He has so much potential and could eventually be a top-10 player in the league. 

I'd rather that happen for my team than any other. There is a chance that he could pull a Latrell Sprewell next year though and then I'd be ready to trade him. 

The only way you can get him now though is to offer me about eight more guards so I can add to my collection."

Hangs up. 

San Antonio Spurs: Tony Parker

R.C. Buford picks up the phone. 

"I know we were just eliminated from the playoffs, but did you see how well Tony Parker played? He became the first player since 1996 to have 20 points and 10 assists in the first half of a playoff game!

Yeah, he flops some times, but who doesn't now? 

Parker is one of the best point guards in the league and I want him on my team."

Hangs up. 

Toronto Raptors: None

I challenge you to choose a player on this team, call him untouchable and then actually defend your position. 

I would, but I can't do it. 

Utah Jazz: Al Jefferson

Kevin O'Connor picks up the phone.

"Al Jefferson is available for the right price, but compared to the rest of the players on our team, he's pretty much untouchable. 

Jefferson is an efficient 20/10 guy and I'm still holding out hope that his insanely good footwork rubs off on Derrick Favors."

Hangs up.

Washington Wizards: John Wall

Ernie Grunfeld picks up the phone.

"You can't have John Wall, but you can have Jordan Crawford. 

Don't you wan–"

Grunfeld is cut off as the phone is hung up from the other end.