K-Rod Will Give Mets The Fire They Need In 2009... Despite Uni Patch

While some baseball scribes turn to stat sheets, sabermetrics, and raw intuition to predict a team's outcome or a player's performance, I find myself looking to an unconventional place. When it comes to this season's New York Mets, and, particularly, their Achilles Heel of a bullpen, one need look no further then here.

That is the sleeve patch commemorating the Mets' inaugural season at their new ballpark, (tentatively titled) Citi Field. Yes, really. That's it. That's what the players will be forced to wear on their uniforms, every home game, for the entire season. Or, more accurately, that is what fans will be forced to look at, every home game, for the entire season. As if Mike Piazza's frosted tips weren't enough visual punishment.

Now, while the casual observer might think that the Mets' offseason financial "complications" sapped their patch-design fund, shrewder fans such as myself realize the genius of this Domino's Pizza logo, I mean uniform patch. 

Now, most teams, including the Mets' crosstown rival, see the opening of a new ballpark as an opportunity for frilly yet meaningless patches, with extraneous features like stadium trademarks, more than two colors, and the team name. Sheer debauchery! The Mets, on the other hand, realize that a uniform patch has to stand for something, and embody the spirit of the team. While the Mets' patch appears to just be a nightmare for narcoleptics, it is, in fact, a window into the soul of their bullpen. Let's compare the patch and the pen (referring here to the 2008 Mets' bullpen):

Utterly nondescript and amorphous, lacking any character whatsoever? Patch: check. Pen: check.

Even if you're able to forget about it for a moment, it will inevitably rear its ugly face at some point during the game? Patch: check. Pen: check.

Gives Mets fans nightmares? Patch: check. Pen: check. 

Sure, I'm stretching the comparison a little thin, but the point remains: Both the patch and the pen, in a word, suck. The word "bullpen" could not have been more of a misnomer when describing the 2008 Mets' relievers, a stable of misanthropic pitchers whose effects on Mets' fans were comparable to those of syrup of ipecac.

I mean, Pedro Feliciano—a guy whose last name is this close to meaning "happiness" in Spanish—posts an 8.10 ERA in his last 10 appearances? What is that, a sick joke? Scott Schoeneweis? The guy got lit up more often than a menorah. And Aaron Heilman? Last time I checked, relief pitchers were not supposed to give up tie-breaking home runs in the ninth inning with a World Series berth on the line (as Heilman did in the 2006 NLCS). But hey, what do I know. I'm a Mets fan.

Luckily, Schoeneweis and Heilman are both gone, and while Feliciano will likely still be floundering in the bullpen come April, the Mets miscast relief core received a shot in the patch-plastered arm this off season: K-Rod. Forget about his 2.35 career ERA, his 62 saves last season, or the fact that he's only 27 years-old. The man oozes intensity.

He's a smoldering volcano of competitiveness, something that's been sorely lacking in Flushing, not just in the bullpen but throughout the organization. He's got the pugnacious attitude that the Mets' bullpen needs; the "all right, Santana/Perez/Pelfrey set it up for us, let's go knock them on their ass" mentality that will make last season's 29 blown saves a distant memory. Add newly acquired setup man J.J. Putz to the mix, and the Mets will have not just the skill but the temerity to surpass their NL East rivals.

Now comes the all-important question: How should K-Rod celebrate his first successful save as a Met? Screaming to the Heavens, as he so often did as an Angel? Running out into centerfield and riding the new animatronic apple as it bobs in and out of the giant top hat? Well, for me, the answer's simple: By ripping that damn patch of his jersey.