Word Life Vol. 13: Who's Not Going To WM25 and a Fast Food War

Hello B/R. AkD is back with another article. So Wednesday I had finally got out of class around 4:30.

I was tired, and hungry.

Anyway, I was on my way home to write an article, but not before getting something to eat. Shane's, Demetrus, and Daris' "Hit The Ropes", radio show was airing that night. I was looking forward to tuning in. I had two things on my mind...writing an article about Flair's return next Monday on RAW—which is horrible—and getting some food.

One of the many New York City's perks is that "food" is around every corner whether it's a deli store, and newsstand, supermarket, and so on. My stomach pointed me in the direction of Burger King. "Good choice" I thought.

I purchased some double cheeseburgers and was on my way to the train station. It was snowing and cold that day. I hear foot steps around me. I look back and see nothing. Day light savings hasn't came yet, so it usually gets dark before 5 o' clock.

All of sudden I get blindsided by a McNugget! I couldn't believe what had just transpired.

After that I woke up the next day and couldn't remember what happened. My brother said that he found me with an empty McDonald's bag near home and hopped into a taxi since he thought I might catch a frost bite or something.

I missed the radio show. "Damn" I thought. I used Thursday to write an article or two, but spent the day indoors. Friday I was back outside. I had no classes, but had to go to campus and drop off an assignment in my professor's mailbox.

I headed down to Burger King again. The weather was decent and the sun was shining so I would like to see someone try to run up on me this time.

I went to order some cheese burgers and the damn workers are in the back whispering to each other like a secret society. One guy brings one of those paper king crowns and they start to giggle.

I like to maintain posture because I want to be seen as a professional and a decent citizen, but I went off. "Yo! Where the F*** are my damn burgers!? I yelled (Whoa! there goes the PG rating). This is now rated R like Edge now. I demanded to speak to who ever in charge because I'm now livid.

This one guy come up with a blue shirt, a weird looking haircut, and some freckles on his face. "May I help you"? He said. "Can I get my damn burgers so I can get the hell outta here"! I responded. He had a little smirk on his face. I was ready to strangle this guy.

He brought me my burgers which looked a little sloppy. "Do you want to know a secret"? he said. I looked at him and thought about responding. I already violated the PG rating so I was on my way out. "You can't cause your not No. 1!" I left and headed down the road.

My burgers were going to get cold, and there was no way I was going to sit in Burger King eating my burgers with those weirdos giggling.

I had an idea for my "Word Life" articles and really wanted to get home. I didn't have a metrocard, (Train fare) So I took a detour home through a side street. I don't like it much because it's not really that safe...but what the heck.

I passed through the parking lot of McDonalds and I heard footsteps again. I see nothing, but I double back and juke to side as if I were LaDainian Tomlinson, and there was a McNugget...or at least someone dressed in a costume.

A whole bunch came up afterwards and it was like a 20-piece McNugget ambush. I was surrounded and then comes those Burger King employees and its a show off! I must be going bananas if I'm the only witnessing BK vs Mickie D's in a parking lot.

I knew they were competitive in commercials but damn! This is out of control! The BK guys all had crowns and started squirting ketchup packets at the Nuggets. "We're going to purify fast food", they yelled and the nuggets looked helpless as they turned bloody red.

Then a big purple Grimace came out of the dumpster! "What is this seaseme street?" I thought. He ran towards the BK kids as if he were going to do some sort of world's strongest slam. He looked like Mark Henry, but purple.

One of the nuggets went rogue and revealed himself to be a guy dressed up as the BK king and then we have a Royal Rumble in the parking lot. I just wanted to get my burgers and get the hell up out of there.

Soon enough Ronald McDonald showed up...not in red in white, but Goldust colors! This is crazy..but I really want my burgers, so I keep searching. The King looks confused and is having a conversation with..air?

All of sudden he runs in blind rage and punts one of the nuggets into next week. The war rages one and the BK kids manage to ground Grimace with sweet and sour sauce. "My burgers" I yelled. I was elated and navigated my way through the war zone to get my food.

The BK kids were gaining the upper hand when the Hamburglar sprung into action and tackled the King. The King is unmasked and it's..BERG!? "Who the F*** IS THAT" I wondered. Then I remembered it was that kid who wrote that ridiculous article on Mr. Ranked Uno, Joe himself. It was weird because he resembles Joe though. The haircut, the freckles, and that inquisitive look he always has on his face.

Whatever I got my burgers and tried to get home. Hambuglar wasn't having that happen though. He jumped in front of me an snatched my burgers. He tried to get away and the four-piece McNuggets that survived the battle wobbled behind him.

"King Berg" wasn't going to let that happen...nope, he blindsided Hamburglar and his BK kids kept him grounded while King Berg punted the remaining Nuggets. "We've Cena nuff" Hamburglar pleaded.

Grimace who was completey destroyed, stood up and said "One more match" as if he were Hulk Hogan looking for a pay check.

Goldust McDonald, or whatever he was also stood up and he grabbed King Berg, the rogue McNugget who punted the rest and dug down deep like he had something in his throat.

Berg! Yourrrrr Firrrrr...Berg slapped the Golden Ronald and punted him too. King Berg unmasked Hamburglar and he was...Ham-BERG-lar!? Two Bergs! Whats going on here!?

They both pledged alligiance to Joe and promised to take their fast food feuding tactics to B/R.

Hamberglar left his fallen McNuggets in the parking lot and told Grimace to drag them back into the playhouse. King Berg picked up his crown and retreated back to Burger King with his BK kids. Talk about freaky! I had just witnessed a fast food World War. I was exhausted and my burgers were beyond cold. I just wanted to get home.

I passed by a White Castle, where these people were dressed up like loyal subjects and knights. I thought I was in the middle ages. I asked who or what they were waiting for and they said.."The Pope".

Soon enough the Pope showed up and he spoke. He reminded me of Mel Gibson's "Braveheart" character. "We are going to assassinate them all! We must reclaim Jerusalem (B/R) for King Joe!"

He yelled and everyone starting cheering. "Pope Berg III". What the hell! I ran home and never stopped or looked back. I ate my cold A** burgers and hoped I never see or hear Berg again.

I've been getting my food delivered as of late, I'm not quite ready to go and buy food in person.

I haven't eaten Taco Bell since the E-coli thing, so what the heck? I called. A guy picked up and I ordered.

He was very kind to me, so I asked for his name so I could tell the manager how good he was doing. "Me llamo El Berg!" He said. AHHHHHH!!!! I screamed and hanged up the phone. I got to get some rest. I'll see you guys later...."World Life".