The L.A. Lakers and NBA Officials: Tag-Team Champions

I tuned in to watch last night's Celtics-Lakers game thinking it should be a battle between two of the top teams in the league—a rematch of last year's NBA Finals, and a possible preview of this year's championship series.

With both teams having nearly identical records, I also thought this one game might matter down the line when it comes to deciding homecourt advantage.

Who knew I was seeing another command performance by one of the most formidable tag-teams since the "Road Warriors".

This isn't about the outcome of last night's game - even the most loyal Celtics fan will admit the Celtics blew it all on their own.  Boston turned the ball over too many times, mostly in careless fashion, which led to easy points for the Lakers.

Against better teams, Boston has shown a problem closing out games, and last night was another example.  The C's had the ball with a chance to win at the end of regulation, and came up with nothing; had the ball with under 30-seconds to play in overtime, up one point, and came up with nothing; they had two cracks at winning the game, down by one at the end of OT, and came up empty both times.

Nope, this is about a Lakers team that, through their nightly antics, has joined forces with the NBA officials to try to rule the league.

The Lakers—from their head coach right down to the last player on the roster—whine, complain, and protest to virtually every call during a game. They act the same way for every non-call. They want, and expect, whistles to be blown in their favor. No exceptions. If they feel that every single call didn't go their way, they have no problem saying so afterwards.

Sure all teams protest calls, and some players are worse than others.  So what makes the Lakers different - it is both the frequency of their acts and the level of their theatrics in protesting every call.  It isn't just Kobe Bryant, who may have earned a measure of leeway, but every player on the roster.  

Watch the Lakers play. They have a Blagojevch-like quality when it comes to accepting responsibility for their actions. Not once in a while, not occasionally, but every single time a foul is called on that team, they all act totally innocent.

They can't believe an official would dare call a foul on the mighty Lakers.

When I say "they all", I don't mean they will all do it individually when a foul is called on them personally. I mean they will all do it in unison when a foul is called on any teammate.

They have their act down—whistle blows, foul on the Lakers. OK, everyone, throw your arms out to the side and make a pouting face. That is the bare minimum. Then it is up to the individual player to improvise.

L.A. also expects to get every call. If a Laker drives to the hoop, and an official forgets to blow the whistle, while the ball is going back up court, there will be the player turning to the official, arms raised out to the side, making the patented, "Don't you know I'm a Laker? I get every call!" face.

Don't believe me. Watch a tape of any Lakers game.  Don't worry about the game, just watch the Lakers' antics.  

Last night was no exception.  Here are some of my favorite examples from the game.

Pau Gasol drives to the hoop, throws up a shot that, without question, misses the rim. He gets the ball back, but the 24-second clock goes off. Gasol can't believe it. It is a pretty clear-cut rule, but Gasol still complains. He is a Laker—there should be no 24-second violations.

Let's look at this incident involving Laker Lamar Odom. A Laker takes a shot that misses.  This occurs at one of those rare points in a game where Odom has decided to show some effort.  He crashes into the Celtic who was trying to get the rebound. The ball goes out of bounds. Odom starts to complain that he didn't foul anyone.

Again, he is a Laker, which is what they do. But of course, there was no foul call. It was only out of bounds, Celtics ball. Odom must have been just arguing for practice.

And, maybe my favorite play from last night's game—with under a minute to play in the third quarter, Leon Powe once again outworks the Lakers to grab an offensive rebound off an Eddie House jumper. He gets hammered by a Laker, and the ball comes loose.

I wouldn't possibly expect a call there on the Lakers. I mean Phil Jackson pretended he didn't know how to pronounce Leon's last name, so obviously a referee can't send Powe to the line.  The ball is then on the ground, and a group of Lakers stare at it. Ray Allen comes in, dives on the ground, and gets to the ball.  The Lakers, knowing they have their tag-team partner, just bend over and whack away at Allen until again the ball comes loose.

A foul is out of the question.

Jordan Farmar picks up the ball, takes two dribbles and stops. A complete stop.  He then sees his team fast-breaking up the court. He wants to join them. So, he starts up again. He goes behind his back and begins to dribble.  Again.  Two dribbles.  

In youth basketball that is what would universally be called a double-dribble. But when you are a Laker, it is play-on. The refs could see the fast-break opportunity for L.A. and did not want to interrupt.

All this whining, all this complaining, all this flopping has helped put the officials in the Lakers' pocket. For this, watch the play where Kevin Garnett fouled out with over four minutes to play.

That is right, Kevin Garnett, perennial All-Star, lock for the Hall of Fame, fouled out of a crucial game with over four minutes to play. Well he must have really earned that sixth foul, right? Not exactly. He was outnumbered two-to-one—Lakers and officials v. KG.

Garnett had the ball out on the wing, and he was attempting to turn to face the hoop, while being guarded by that defensive legend Gasol. Gasol takes a swing at the ball but hitting all arm—Foul No. 1.  No call.  Knowing he can get away with it, Gasol takes another swipe—Foul No. 2.  Again, no call. This time the ball is jarred free.

As Garnett tries to recover the ball, here comes the mightiest of mighty mice—King Flopper himself—Derek Fisher.

Fisher does what he does best, what he has made a career out of while being a Laker —he flopped.  And the official did his part, rewarding Gasol for reaching in and Fisher for yet another flop in a long-storied career of flopping. He called the foul on Garnett.

The Lakers are a good team, no question. Bryant, from an opposing fan’s perspective, is one of the scariest players on the planet. He can be 0-20, and take over a game at a moment's notice. Gasol is a very good player. Odom, when he feels like it, is one of the most gifted and multi-talented players in the league.

They would be a good team without this cry-baby act they have perfected and taken to a level beyond anything you see with other teams.

L.A. is led by Phil Jackson.  He is a legendary coach but he is also a coach who isn't talking if he isn't complaining about something.  The players take their cues from him. Bryant, in addition to his world-class talent is a world-class whiner, and feels the need to cry and complain after every call.  Again, the team follows his example. 

Gasol is no better, although I don't remember him acting like this when he was with the Grizzlies.  

They trot Fisher out there, a guy who should be embarrassed by how he flops around on a basketball court. Having grown up with 1980s NBA, I have to believe, if he pulled these types of stunts years ago, he would have wound up with an elbow to the chest, giving him something to actually cry about.

Sasha Vujacic is straight out of central casting for "annoying player with limited skill who somehow doesn't get punched every single game."

And right on down the line, the entire team knows the drill.

Therein lies the problem, because the NBA officials are an incompetent bunch. They can't just call a game based on what actually happens. They are always influenced by which team cries the loudest, cries the most, flops the most, dives the most.

For the most part, people don't pay very close attention to the NBA regular season, especially when it comes to the poor level of officiating. This leads to outcries of cheating and games being fixed when they tune in to the playoffs and see how poorly refereed these games are.

I am here to say though, it isn't a fix, and it isn't some backroom deal. It is just talentless officials who bend over backwards to reward the squeaky wheel. No team does it better than this Lakers team, and officials fall for it on a nightly basis.

Talent may only be able to get teams so far in this league. However, if you combine an all-time cry baby at head coach, an all-time cry baby in one of the most talented athletes in NBA history and a group of role players who all know their primary function is to complain about every call, maybe someday your team can be NBA tag-team champions, too.

For now, though, your team will just have to strive to be a contender, as the Lakers and officialls walk out of the arena with their tag-team championship belt held high.