Dear, oh dear, fella. You must have done something really bad.
For now, though, let's file this under Jaime Lannister's regrettable "things I do for love."
Pushing a kid out of a castle turret? No biggie.
Standing outside the Emirates Stadium in a Tottenham shirt? Now that's crazy.
Say hello a YouTube uploader calling himself Luke McQueen (who, because of his name, would be my nephew's BFF), a bloke who claims he's a Gooner and claims he's wearing a Tottenham shirt outside the Emirates for a good reason.
McQueen, you see, says he was caught cheating on his girlfriend. To make up for it, he decided to do, well, this.
On the original YouTube entry for the video, Luke writes:
I made this video to apologise to my girlfriend. I'm making it public to increase the humiliation. Sarah, I'm really sorry and I hope you can forgive me.
Please give me a call.
Well done, Luke. This is definitely humiliating.
I'm not sure, though, that this was your best bet. What about the ol' John Cusack-with-a-boombox routine? Corny, yes, but also effective.
Or how about ripping off The Notebook? The ladies seem to love that one, processed cheese that it is.
Besides, as the guys over at Who Ate All The Pies point out, you could have picked any number of more dangerous options.
However, let’s be honest, Arsenal fans are probably the least violent in the country, if not the world. Indeed, if he really wants to impress his ex, how about standing outside Elland road in a Man Utd top? Or maybe Ibrox in a Celtic shirt? Maybe then, and only then, would she forgive him.
Let's hope Luke posts an update soon.