The Doctor's Weekly WWE Raw Recap: The 123 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerMay 7, 2012

About seven months ago I wrote my first recap list as something random to do as a different means of recapping an event. The readers here at Bleacher Report encouraged me to do them for more events. Eventually, it became a biweekly column with one for each PPV.

I can't say thank you enough to the people who come here each week to read the ludicrous things I come up with and take the time to comment. I am working on something special for you guys as a way to say thank you.

Until I get everything worked out I cannot reveal any details, but I think it is something everyone will be really excited about. It will go way beyond simply giving shout-outs to the occasional winner of a prediction contest.

Every week I put in a little game or two to make things a little more fun. Last Friday I put in several TV show references into the recap and several people got most or all of them right.

A quick shout out to Mason Sartin for being the first person to correctly identify every TV show reference from Friday's recap.

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people who knew about the show Solid Gold. I thought that would be a little obscure, but most people who guessed got that one.

Tonight's game will revolve around the Marvel universe since this weekend was the record breaking premiere of The Avengers. I threw in a few references to different Marvel comic books.

The game will not be identifying the characters, but the actual series of comic books they are best known for. Some are more obvious than others, but there is a total of six references to identify. Numbers 57-59 do not count.

My power went out for about half an hour during the show, so I was unable to list anything from that portion. I will look up the videos on YouTube Tuesday and update the list, so please check back to see the updates.

For those of you who are not familiar with this series, each week I recap Raw and SmackDown with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.

I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 123 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. Happy Birthday, Owen Hart. We all miss you. Check out what Jim Ross had to say in his Blog about Owen.
2. The show begins with a recap of the events from last week.
3. John Laurinaitis comes to the ring sans David Otunga yet again.
4. I know why he is gone, but I actually miss seeing Otunga with Laurinaitis every week. He is the Agent Coulson to Laurinaitis' Nick Fury. That's right, I made the comparison—and I don't regret it.
5. Johnny Ace says he will not allow his judgement to be questioned.
6. Perry Webb acting tough is making me laugh.
7. I like the sign that says "I'm little Jimmy" with an arrow pointing down to the little kid below it.
8. JL says that he was not punished by the board of directors because what he did to Cena was tough but fair.
9. He says Cena will not be here tonight so he can rehab his arm.
10. He will be here via satellite and JL says he will apologize for making fun of his voice.
11. Funkhauser says anyone making fun of his voice will be punished.
12. He explains how his voice was damaged by Doctor Death Steve Williams while wrestling in Japan.
13. Damn! If you have to be injured by anyone it may as well be one of the toughest men to ever lace up a pair of boots. At least JL can claim he survived a brush with Death.
14. He shows some photos of his Championship-winning career in Japan.
15. Hahahaha! He says he was the Hulk Hogan of Japan. That is priceless.
16. OK, he actually topped that by saying he was The Rock and Steve Austin all rolled into one.
17. Fun fact: Steve Austin's real name is Steve Williams. He had to change it when he broke into the business so people did not think he was Doctor Death Steve Williams.
18. CM Punk's music hits and he comes out, most likely to reshow his tribute video to JL from the Slammys.
19. At least I hope he does. That was hilarious.
20. Big Johnny is trending. Nice.
21. CM Punk says that JL is upset because he bet everything on Brock Lesnar and John Cena won.
22. Shout out to the guys wearing Macho Man shirts. Excelsior!
23. Punk says JL ran off to Japan because no one in the U.S. wanted to see him wrestle.
24. JL warns him to be careful.
25. Ha! Mr. Rooney. How did that not get more applause?

26. Laurinaitis says he would beat up Punk if he wasn't in training, so he will face Lord Tensai instead.
27. This could be interesting.
28. I like that Punk is being Pro-Cena tonight.
29. The opening segment started off slow but Punk ended it well.
30. After the break Johnny Ace is shown walking backstage, texting on his phone.
31. He bumps into Big Show and yells at him.
32. Show makes fun of his voice, sees Eve and walks away.
33. Is he going to be punished for making fun of JL's voice now?
34. Dr. Doom—I mean, Cody Rhodes—is out for his rematch with Big Show.
35. Show corners Rhodes right away and starts using his power to get the early advantage.
36. Rhodes tries to kick Show and Show grabs his leg and flips Rhodes. Nice spot.
37. Cody grabs the IC title and bails.
38. Big Show is pissed when he wins by count out. Rhodes retains since you can't lose a title by count out.
39. Big Show tries to convince Rhodes to come back and fight like a man.
40. Eve comes out instead.
41. It's hard to hate a woman who looks that good while acting that selfishly. She's no Jenna Maroney, though.
42. Ah, here it is. She wants him to apologize for making fun of JL's voice.
43. He says he is sorry but Eve says it wasn't good enough.
44. The beast looks like he wants to crush the beauty right now.
45. It looks like Eve calling Show a freak had some affect on him.
46. He apologizes and leaves as Eve smiles from the ring.
47. That was very anti-climactic.
48. We get a replay of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth winning the Tag Team Championships.
49. Kofi comes to the ring accompanied by R-Truth.
50. Why the hell did Justin Roberts forget to say he was also accompanied by Little Jimmy?

51. Vickie comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler, who also has Jack Swagger in his corner.
52. Does this mean Swagger and Ziggler are going to be competing for the tag titles soon?
53. Some guys from a USA show I don't care about are at ringside.
54. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!! My power just went out.
55. I'm sorry guys and gals but It looks like there might be a gap in my recap tonight. Hopefully the power comes back on soon and I don't miss too much.
56. Well, now I'm bored. I guess I can talk about other stuff.
57. I saw The Avengers this weekend. I really liked it a lot. Iron Man stole the show with the one-liners and I really like how they portrayed The Hulk differently from the two previous movies. Joss Whedon did a great job.
58. Most of the film was just an excuse to show off Scarlett Johansson's butt in a catsuit. That is not a complaint on my part.
59. I hope Hawkeye gets his own movie or at least has a big part in the Nick Fury movie. Jeremy Renner played him really well and I liked his character's story in the film the best.
60. OK, power is back on.
61. Sheamus and Orton are recovering from something in the ring.
62. Sheamus helps up Orton but gets an RKO from The Viper.
63. I am assuming Sheamus cost them a tag match by accidentally hitting Orton with The Brogue Kick and that was Orton just getting even. Someone tell me if I am right.
64. At least I only lost about half an hour from the show from what I can see. I will update this Tuesday after seeing the parts I missed on YouTube once it is available, so check back here tomorrow if you would like to see the complete list.
65. Eve is backstage with John Laurinaitis and they talk about how Big Show's apology wasn't good enough.
66. Chris Jericho runs in and says he should have a title shot for pinning Sheamus.
67. Alberto Del Rio says he should get one, and so does Orton.
68. All hell breaks loose and Sheamus runs in to help Orton clean house.
69. Sheamus and Orton argue over the RKO and Brogue kick.
70. Sheamus says it was an accident and Orton responds with, "There are no accidents in that ring, fella."
71. Tell that to Ken Anderson, Randy.
72. JL makes the World Title match a Fatal Four-Way with Sheamus, Jericho, Del RIo and Orton.
73. That match is going to be awesome if WWE does it right.
74. Brodus Clay and my two favorite Stepford Cuckoos, Cameron and Naomi, are out next.
75. No Hornswoggle. That's a good sign.

76. Clay gives us a reminder about Mother's Day and how we should call out mamas.
77. The Miz comes out and talks about how much it upsets him to have to face Brodus Clay instead of competing for the WWE Championship.
78. Nice reference to Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
79. Clay has a new shirt. I actually see a few in the crowd, too.
80. Miz gets beat right out of the ring to start the match.
81. Miz comes back in and actually gets in some offense.
82. Miz with a rare leap from the top rope to get what might be the first near fall on Brodus Clay since he debuted as The Funkasaurus.
83. It was pretty obvious that Miz was feeding Clay instructions while he was holding him in a headlock.
84. Wow! A second pin attempt from Miz. Clay is actually having a real match for once.
85. Line of the night: "The Miz's parents paid him his allowance in traveler's checks and he still didn't get the message."
86. Brodus catches Miz and throws him halfway across the ring.
87. Clay hits his big splash and wins the match.
88. I wish Miz would have broken his streak. It could have started a real feud for Clay and given Miz a leg up after having been on a downward slope for awhile.
89. WWE shows an anti-bullying video from an event they just had.
90. Stephanie looks great in this video.
91. It doesn't matter what the motivation is for WWE doing these kinds of events—it is just good that they do them at all. They are one of the more charitable corporations I have ever seen, and that must be commended.
92. A video is shown of Brock Lesnar and Triple H's encounter from last week and I think they used the classic Raw theme for a few seconds right in the beginning.
93. WWE has an amazing editing department. These videos always look great.
94. Brock Lesnar's music hits and no one comes out.
95. Holy Crap! It's Paul Heyman.
96. This should be very, very interesting
97. Heyman talks about how different WWE is from 10 years ago.
98. He says Brock Lesnar feels betrayed by the WWE universe.
99. He reads a statement from Brock Lesnar.
100. It basically boils down to Brock Lesnar saying he quits, which gets a surprisingly positive reaction from the crowd.

101. I thought Heyman would drop some bombs, but that was nothing special. Still cool to see him, though.
102. The guys from the new USA show are backstage with Big Show talking about how his night has sucked so far.
103. So who is Crockett and who is Tubbs?
104. Eve catches Big Show laughing at the two guys making fun of John Laurinaitis. I guess we will find out what happens to Show later.
105. CM Punk is out next and John Laurinaitis stops him before he can make it to the ring. It's clobberin' time!
106. He changes the match to CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai and Daniel Bryan.
107. I don't see Punk winning this one.
108. Punk and Tensai start things off and Tensai gets the early advantage,
109. CM Punk is being mercilessly beaten throughout this match by Tensai and Bryan.
110. Bryan missed a top rope headbutt and Punk is able to get some breathing room.
111. Punk signals for the GTS but Bryan breaks free and tags in Tensai.
112. Punk tries to lift Tensai for the GTS but can't get him up.
113. Tensai hits a really sloppy two-handed chokeslam and sets up for his finisher.
114. Tensai blows the green mist on his hand and applies the claw to CM Punk to get the pin and the win.
115. Bryan is screaming "Yes!" on the outside of the ring to celebrate.
116. Did anyone else think it looked like Tensai had trouble applying the claw because Punks hair was so greasy?
117. Bryan comes in after the match and puts Punk in the Yes Lock.
118. Punk's arm actually looked like it was at a really painful angle for a few seconds. He is either really flexible or that hurt a little.
119. The show goes off the air with Bryan screaming "Yes!" at the camera.
120. I guess those two guys at Raw had their show premiering right after the show was over.
121. USA is good at the cross promotion stuff, but I had no idea who those two were.
122. Other than the fact that I missed a quarter of the show, I have to say that it wasn't bad. Nothing special, though.
123. Paul Heyman coming out was nice to see.