Open Mike Monday: Manchester Derby, Pep Guardiola, Europa League, Roy Hodgson

This week in Open Mike Monday: Two teams from Manchester fight for English supremacy; one two-timing Spanish club fights for our attention (and our hearts); another fights not to lose its religion; and a German team fights on home turf.

Meanwhile, the bigwigs at the birthplace of football threaten to pull a stunner, though not in the exciting sense of the word. Instead, well, you'll find out.

Read on for more.

Highest-Stakes Local Derby

It's finally time for the English Premier League's title decider, and—wouldn't you know it?—the two teams involved are fierce local rivals.

Manchester City will host Manchester United later today at the Etihad, and the winner of the match will definitely, surely, probably, maybe—OK, could—win the title in a few more weeks. Naturally, the hype machine on this one goes to 11.

City won the first league matchup this season 6-1, and United exacted revenge with a 3-2 away win in the FA Cup's third round.

So, yes, the stakes will be high. But just in case you weren't sure, City's Vincent Kompany took the preemptive nuclear option, calling today's Manchester derby the second-biggest game in club football.

Never mind that this might not even be United's second-biggest rivalry (or third).

Twitter could very well liquefy.

Biggest Curveball

So. Roy Hodgson. England.

Not Harry Redknapp (not that that would have been a particularly earth-moving choice either).

Instead, this guy.

And the world reacts:

"

…

…

(Looking at each other uncomfortably)

…

Huh.

"

Well played, England.

Second-Tier Competition

Watching the Europa League is not unlike watching lower-division promotion playoffs. Either that, or dating Little Miss Wrong.

The matches are fascinating theater. Even at this advanced stage, the survivors are deeply flawed, and for every flaw there's also the possibility and promise of the truly sublime.

Even so, the matches don't necessarily feature the quality of the more prestigious Champions League—except that sometimes they're completely impossible to stop watching.

Last week, that was the case with Athletic Bilbao and Sporting Lisbon.

Most of us have developed a football crush, of some varying degree, on Athletic this season. And it's small wonder why: It's impossible not to like their quirky manager Marcelo Bielsa, their free-flowing, attacking style or their exciting young players.

Most of us, in fact, would probably wish our team would play a little more like Bielsa's team. But, then again, Bielsa's team is also seventh in La Liga, and struggling to keep up with heavyweight hitters like Osasuna, Sevilla and Mallorca.

Perhaps it's best, then, that Athletic's run to the Europa League final—as thoroughly entertaining as it has been—will be over soon, one way or the other.

As fun as they are to watch, we'll look back on them in a few years as little more than a Spring fling, placeholders for our real clubs, something to keep us occupied while the better.

But a fun ride, no?

Kinda like the Europa League.

Most Damaging Crisis of Faith

If watching Bilbao this spring has felt like a doomed-but-thrilling romance, watching Barcelona fall apart over the last few weeks has felt something like losing one's religion.

In this case, fandom wasn't even required to feel the ache, only devotion to the creed of football.

We've all taken at least some interest in Barcelona these past few years as they've conquered the universe in the service of our impeccably wool-clad overlord Pep Guardiola. And to some extent, we all admired the handiwork of Pep and his minions.

Two more trophies—admittedly minor ones—joined the pile at the beginning of the season, and for months we all took turns finding new ways to expend thousand-word bursts about the genius of señores Pep Guardiola, Lionel Messi, Xavi and, uh, those other dudes.

Then they lost to Chelsea in London.

Then they lost to Real Madrid at home and, by extension, lost La Liga.

Then they blew a two-goal lead at home, drew with Chelsea and crashed out of the Champions League.

Then Pep quit.

And now, we're left to wonder what we're supposed to think.

The Church of Barca is far from kaput, but the empire's demise, in such swift fashion, has been stunning enough to prompt scores of formerly steadfast believers to pose that most doubt-ridden of questions.

Why?

Best Homecoming

Before they could go back home for the Champions League final, Bayern Munich first had to establish their German fußball bona fides.

The test: A penalty shootout with Real Madrid in the semifinals.

The result: You really don't know?

Germans never lose shootouts, even if the German team in question isn't necessarily full of them. Bayern did their national duty, and now, because they held their nerve better—honestly, though, why can't other countries do this?—they're set for a home game in the Champions League final.

That should be a good thing, as if you needed stats to tell you that.

But even if it turns out otherwise, the Bavarians can take comfort knowing they knocked off Real Madrid, the team that knocked off Barcelona in La Liga, the league that knocked off the English Premiership as the world's best this year.

So, there's always that.

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