Grading 10 WWE Superstars and Their Rumblers Action Figures

It has been a while since I have played with WWE action figures. Not because I am mature or too old or anything like that. I am a poor college student and the small amount of money I have is spent on other stuff. 

Besides, the only people I know with WWE action figures are my ten-year-old cousins (and they never want to share). But the other day, I did notice that they had these cool, I mean totally lame baby toys, called WWE Rumblers. I decided to go on-line to check them out and while I found out that they were totally out of my price range, I also found that some were cooler than others.

In the interest of saving the time and money of my fellow pro-wrestling fans I will be grading each Rumblers action figure based on three criteria.

1. Likeness (how much the figure resembles the actual WWE superstar).

2. Playability (how likely it is that a child will play with this figure).

3. Coolness (how cool the figure looks regardless of other factors).

Purchase at your own risk!

Sin Cara

Regardless of his mediocre in-ring skills, Sin Cara is still really popular with the kids, but I don't understand his pose in this figure. What is he pointing at? His glorious past in Mexico? And why is he so ripped? Not sure if this is the best way to depict someone who was suspended for violating the Talent Wellness Program.

Likeness: B-

Playability: B-

Coolness: B

Shawn Michaels

This Shawn Michaels Rumbler may not look much like HBK himself and his pose may be limited when it comes to playing with the figure (I am not even sure it can stand up by itself), but who cares! I'm giving this figure an A+ in the coolness department, yeah Sweet Chin Music is that cool.

Likeness: B

Playability: C

Coolness: A+

Randy Orton

Imagine it's Christmas morning. All month you have been asking your parents for a Randy Orton Rumblers action figure and to your surprise there is a present under the tree with your name on it. You open the package and what do you get? A Kevin Federline action figure. Lame.

Likeness: F-

Playability: B

Coolness: C

R-Truth

Kudos to whomever designed this R-Truth action figure for paying attention to small details like the tattoo on his chest and the white glove. Speaking of white gloves, why does R-Truth wear a white glove? The only two people I know associated with white gloves are O.J. Simpson and Micheal Jackson. Is that why we can't see Lil Jimmy? Did R-Truth kill him?

Likeness: B+

Playability: B

Coolness: B

Evan Bourne

I want to make a joke about Evan Bourne going from being a high flyer to a high flyer, but I am not. Not sure if this figure is making a good case for Bourne though.

Likeness: C+

Playability: B

Coolness: B-

Justin Gabriel

Unlike other figures this Justin Gabriel figure looks like Gabriel, a little too much actually. Not sure if I want a Justin Gabriel figure to begin with. I guess he'd be useful if I needed a good guy for the bad guys to beat up.

Likeness: A

Playability: B

Coolness: C

Ezekiel Jackson

I doubt there is any kid in the world that wants an Ezekiel Jackson action figure, but for some reason this Rumbler looks really cool. A kid may not be able to do much with him during playtime, but it's not like Jackson does much in the WWE anyways.

Likeness: B

Playability: B

Coolness: A-

Triple H

A solid figure. Nothing really spectacular about. Although those black beady eyes are a little scary. I guess that's what happens when you sell your soul to the devil.

Likeness: B+

Playability: B+

Coolness: B+

CM Punk

Jesus Christ! No, but seriously, Jesus Christ. I know Punk's nickname is the Second City Savior, but this might be a little too much (at an angle the "Xs" in his wrists even look like small crosses). C'mon Mattel, the real CM Punk looks nothing like Jesus.

Likeness: C-

Playability: B+

Coolness: A-

Hornswoggle

No. Just no. I may not be a child but I am almost certain that no child wants a Hornswoggle action figure, at least not this Hornswoggle action figure.  From his creepy eyes to his toothless mouth everything about this Rumbler figures screams childhood nightmare.

Likeness: F

Playability: F

Coolness: F

Thanks for reading. If you folks enjoy this slideshow I may make a second part (and beyond).

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