Bill Parcells Saints Rumors: Big Tuna Doesn't Need Big New Orleans Headache

Sean Payton wants a big-name coach with a big-name reputation to look after the New Orleans Saints while he's serving his one-year suspension in 2012.

According to a report from ESPN's Chris Mortensen, Payton has approached none other than Bill Parcells about becoming the Saints' interim head coach in 2012. Payton also approached Parcells for the simple sake of receiving some counsel.

If you're just now joining us, Payton was hit with a one-year ban as punishment for the bounty program, masterminded by former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, that took place under his watch for several seasons. The Saints have also been fined and stripped of draft picks, and General Manager Mickey Loomis was hit with a suspension as well.

So in the span of several weeks since the end of the season, the Saints went from being one of the darling teams in the NFL to easily the most villainous. A white-knight persona with an impressive resume is exactly what the franchise needs right now.

To that end, it makes perfect sense that Payton would approach Parcells about minding the Saints next season. Parcells could step right in and right the ship, and nobody within the organization would be in a position to complain because, well, he's Bill Parcells. The media would give him a pass too for that exact same reason. 

So yeah, the approach makes sense, and you certainly can't fault Payton for coming up with the idea and putting it to his former boss and mentor.

But here's the thing—why on earth would Parcells actually want to take Payton up on the idea?

Parcells is a smart man, so I'm going to assume that the reality of the situation is not lost on him. Payton essentially wants him to be a glorified patsy, as Parcells could step in and keep Payton's house in order using nothing more than his reputation. Saints players won't mess with him, and neither will the media.

Given his age and vast experience, Parcells has no incentive to agree to be used like that. 

It would be one thing if we knew Parcells was in the market to coach again, but he said last April (via CBSSports.com) that he's really not all that interested in coaching again. He's enjoying retirement, and he has a cushy job as an analyst at ESPN. Returning to the 24-7 grind of being a head coach in the NFL would be quite the shock.

This is especially true given how much the NFL has changed since Parcells last coached in 2006. He hasn't unplugged himself from the league entirely since '06, but he'd find himself pretty out of touch with the way things are done if he were to return to the sidelines.

And then there's the matter of Parcells' Hall of Fame candidacy. If he were to accept an interim head coaching position, Mortensen claims that Parcells may have to wait another five years before becoming eligible for the Hall of Fame again.

Since Parcells' Hall of Fame candidacy is as strong as can be, it's not like he stands to bolster his resume by agreeing to coach the Saints in 2012. It would be pretty remarkable if he were to lead them to the Super Bowl, but he already has two Super Bowl victories on his resume. He doesn't need another to put himself in the Hall of Fame.

Make no mistake about it, Parcells has nothing left to prove as a head coach in the NFL.

The only reason Parcells would accept Payton's proposal is if he felt like doing a friend in need a huge favor. That would be a kind gesture, but Parcells would effectively be accepting a gigantic headache that he doesn't need. 

And of course, merely accepting Payton's proposal would just be one step. Loomis and Saints Owner Tom Benson would also have to sign off on the idea. The (apparent) fact that Payton and Parcells have discussed the possibility of him taking over as New Orleans' interim head coach is only worth so much until Loomis and Benson are brought into the loop.

It all boils down to this—the idea of Parcells taking over in New Orleans for a year is a cool idea and a neat story, but the odds of this actually happening are somewhere between slim and none. The circumstances at play all point towards Parcells staying retired.

There will be no hard feelings against Parcells if that's what ends up happening.