Ohio State Football: 10 Ways You Know You're a Buckeyes Fan

As a full-blown Ohio State fan, it can be difficult at times to stay true to my objective, unbiased obligations as a sports writer.

I can stray away from those rules for this piece.

The word "fan" is of Latin origin and means an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or a performing art), usually as a spectator. It is derived from "fanatic," which is marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion.

Are you a fan of the Buckeyes? If you fall under the following 10 guidelines, then you fit the description.


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You Won't Step Foot in Ann Arbor

Why do the ducks in Ann Arbor fly upside down? Because there's nothing worth crapping on!

In all seriousness, there is no reason—unless you're in the Big House for The Game—that you should be taking a trip to the home of scUM (University of Michigan).

No family visits, no fishing trips, no golf outings. Nothing. If you're traveling, don't even drive through it.

That is, if you're a Buckeye.

Your Dog Is Named Woody, Brutus or Sloopy

It's common for Ohio State fans to name their beloved pets after Buckeye icons.

Woody Hayes is arguably the best coach OSU has had. He went 205-61-10 (74.3 winning percentage) in 28 seasons with the Scarlet and Gray, taking home four national championships and beating Michigan 16 times.

Brutus Buckeye is the University's coveted athletics mascot. He is a lucky student dressed in Ohio State colors with a headpiece resembling an Ohio Buckeye nut. Created in 1965 with periodic updates to design and wardrobe, Brutus was inducted into the Mascot Hall of Fame in 2007.

"Hang on Sloopy" is the official rock song for the state of Ohio, along with The Ohio State University. The McCoys—a former pop group in the '60s—are the song's artist, and it was after singer Dorothy Sloop.

You Dont Shop at Meijer or IKEA

If you're a true Buckeyes fan, it's a given to not shop at Meijer. The American hypermarket was founded in that state up north in the early 1930s, and we just don't associate ourselves or support anything that comes from it.

And although it may be really, really cool, the maize and blue coloring of IKEA gives it a distasteful appearance. Sorry, but I just can't purchase anything from a store that resembles the Wolverines' team colors.

Weather Isn't a Factor

A real fan will sit in any weather condition—rain, sleet, snow, ice, 100-degree heat—to watch his or her team play and will stay through the entire game until the last second ticks off the clock.

It's no secret that Ohio has its up-and-down weather. Civilians are acclimated to 40-degree changes in the matter of a day, severe thunderstorms, snow in May, hurricanes (it's happened) and anything else you can think of.

A perfect example is the 1950 "Snow Bowl," when Ohio State hosted that team up north in unruly conditions (five-degree temperatures) likely unsuitable for today's game.

“The game was played in the teeth of a full-scale blizzard, five inches of snow on the ground and snow whistling through the air, borne on a 29-mile-per-hour gale," said then-athletic director Dick Larkins, according to the University's library. 

"Despite the fact it was the worst blizzard in 37 years in Columbus, the Ohio capital easily defended its title as the football craziest town in the nation. A total of 50,503 persons braved the elements, staying below deck, under the Stadium, until just a few minutes before the kickoff.”

You Know the Buckeye Battle Cry by Heart

Happy studying!


Buckeye Battle Cry

In old Ohio (Columbus) there's a team,
That's known thru-out the land;
Eleven warriors, brave and bold,
Whose fame will ever stand,
And when the ball goes over,
Our cheers will reach the sky,
Ohio Field will hear again
The Buckeye Battle Cry.

Chorus

Drive! Drive on down the field;
Men of the scarlet and gray;
Don't let them thru that line,
We've got to win this game today,
Come on, Ohio!
Smash thru to victory,
We'll cheer you as you go;
Our honor defend
So we'll fight to the end
For Ohio.

We'll scatter to the east and west,
When college days are done;
And memories will cling around,
The dreams of everyone;
We'll play the game of living,
With head and shoulders high!
And where in wear the spirit of
The Buckeye Battle Cry!

Repeat Chorus

You Proudly Wear Your OSU Decor

You know you're a Buckeye fan if you're bold enough to walk into any Michigan-based bar decked out in OSU loyalty, knowing the floodgates will open upon sight.

And if by reading this, you fear that you're a bit behind in apparel...

http://shop.ohiostatebuckeyes.com/

You Stay in Your Seat at Halftime

Halftime is usually where nearly everyone gets up, walks around, takes a piss, grabs an $8 Coke and returns for the second half of the game.

Not in the Horseshoe.

In Columbus, we pride ourselves on having the "Best Damn Band in the Land." It is one of the few all-brass and percussion bands in the country, perhaps the largest of its type in the world.

Known for its honorary ceremony of dotting the "i" and other illustrious traditions, the Ohio State marching band has been honored with The Sudler Trophy for outstanding college band, has performed in six Inaugural Parades and has represented the state of Ohio during the inaugurations of Herbert Hoover, Richard Nixon, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush (2001 and 2005) and Barack Obama.

You Shout 'O-H' Anywhere, Anytime

Whether you're at home, at a restaurant, in a business meeting, riding a roller coaster, at a bar or sitting in the stands of your kid's basketball game, there's no bad time to start the famous "O-H-I-O" chant.

The best part is knowing there's always at least one person that will finish it for you.

You Refuse to Call That State Up North by Name

Former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes was famous for his hatred for Michigan and anything that had to do with the state, so much that he would not call it or the team by name. He referred to it as "that state up north" or "that team up north," and it stuck for generations.

One night on a recruiting trip in the state of Michigan, an assistant noticed that the car he was driving was going to run out of gas. He let Woody, who was dozing in the passenger seat, know that he had to pull over for gas. Woody refused, and the assistant drove on. The assistant, who saw the weather was starting to get bad, began to become worried about getting stuck in the middle of nowhere and once again stressed his desire to pull over and get gas.

"No, goddammit! We do NOT pull in and fill up. And I'll tell you exactly why we don't. It's because I don't buy one goddam drop of gas in the state of Michigan! We'll coast and PUSH this goddam car to the Ohio line before I give this state a nickel of my money!"

The assistant knew he wasn't kidding, and they barely made it across the border and sputtered into the first gas station they found in Ohio.

New head coach Urban Meyer has revived this aspect of the hatred for the Buckeyes' arch-rival, calling U-of-M "that state up north," and even adding it that way to the upcoming schedule.


Story credited to Bucknuts.com.

You Are True to Your Team

A true Ohio State fan loves and supports the team no matter the obstacle, how hard the penalties are or what the season result looks like. He or she will never abandon the team despite a bonehead move, final score or even NCAA allegations.

If you're a real Buckeyes fan, you haven't given up after the team's first 6-7 season since 1898. You haven't let the one-year ban prevent you from being excited, and you support the school through thick and thin.

And you're ready for a national championship in 2013.