Shane McMahon Commits The Perfect Crime

Known as the laid back, squeaky-clean, first born of a self-made billionaire, Shane McMahon has lived the model life.

He grew up with the proverbial silver spoon, went to the finest private schools, drove the best cards, wore the nicest clothes, and married the girl next door. Yet with all that said it still wasn't enough.

For 38 years Shane quietly flew under the radar. Years earlier he studied Media and Marketing and upon graduating from Boston University he continued working in the family business. It's everything you'd expect until one day everything changed.

Vince McMahon, the Chairman of the WWE, is slated to make a return the Monday before the Rumble and he's in for the surprise of a lifetime.

After a six month absence Mr. McMahon will make his triumphant return to Raw. He'll probably address the state of Raw and make a shocking announcement about the upcoming Royal Rumble. And when he arrives he will discover their's been a crime committed.

Vince will make his way to the ring, cocky strut and all, and gloat how he know the fans truly missed him. And when he starts to comment on the reasons for his absence, suddenly "Here comes the money (Here we go)" will blast through the arena.

Vince's cocky smirk will quickly turn to a confused frown. With a "money shuffle" Shan-O Mac will make his way to the ring and this is conversation that will occur:

Shane: Hello Pops

(Silence)

Shane: I know you're probably surprised to see me here, but you really shouldn't  be. Because this confrontation has been brewing for a while.

(Vince looks on intently)

Shane: I don't know if you recall but a little while back you left a contract open and I took it upon myself to put my name on the dotted line. And on that day I became the new owner of WCW.

Vince: Why you little...

Shane: Whoa, hold on, it gets better. A year after I purchased the organization you fired both myself and your baby daughter Steph just because you could. And I'm cool with that because business is business, and that was strictly business. Now you've brought us back.

(Vince nods in agreement)

Shane: But ever since I bought the company, and that day back in 2001 when you fired me...things changed. Yeah, 'cause I've been in talk with my lawyers and together we've marked each and every time you've mentioned the WCW, used footage from WCW and the NWA, sold WCW related merchandise, and so on.

And every time you used our rights without MY permission is trademark infringement.

(Vince gulps)

Shane: So basically every Flair DVD, clips of Stone Cold's early days, WCW t-shirts in the video game...all belong to me. And with every usage the money just piles up.

And we didn't want this to get held up for years in court, so we got a little help to speed this up a bit. And thanks to the John Hancock of one Linda McMahon, you know your wife and CEO of the WWE, we got this settled out of court.

Vince: No!

Shane: Oh yeah. And to keep a long story short pop, I got paid. Paid so well in fact, I just bought your shares in the WWE. Well just about all. Now with your shares, combined with the shares I already owned, I am the majority share owner of the WWE.

Basically I'm your new boss. But don't look so grim. Check out the bright side, now we, err, those people can put an end of all those attempts on your life. That was a real shame.

Oh by the way Vince, YOU'RE FIRED!

These are the semi-true, could happen, just might take place, soon-to-come events that will take place one week from this year's Royal Rumble.

It will be the perfect crime. The day Shane McMahon stole the WWE from Vince McMahon.