John Terry's Firing as Captain Looms Over Hapless England's Euro 2012 Hopes

With John Terry deposed of the England captaincy (again) pending his trial for racially abusing QPR defender Anton Ferdinand, there is a farcical Monty Python sketch to be written around the search for his successor.

(Picture the scene at a swanky Hertfordshire hotel as England coach Fabio Capello and Stuart Pearce talk through potential candidates.)

Capello: My first choice: Wayne Rooney. He England's best player. Maybe captaincy makes him more responsible, no?

Pearce: I like your thinking, gaffer, but remember, Wazza's banned for the first two games of the Euros, and we'll probably only last three. Oh, and don't forget that nasty prostitute business. Also, not sure about the way he acted at the World Cup, if I'm honest.

Capello: You're right, yes. OK, what about Ashley Cole? Many caps, lots of experience, certain starter for my team. Has his own hair, too.

Pearce: Not sure the public will go for that one either, gaffer. Ash is no stranger to scandal himself, and I wonder whether shooting interns with air rifles sends out the right message. Plus, we'd have to ban all phones. And Internet probably, too—and women.

Capello: OK, so we go back to Rio Ferdinand, then.

Pearce: Thing is, gaffer, Rio doesn't want it. Not after what you did last time. And then there's that thing of playing alongside the fella who's accused of racially abusing his brother. Not sure that's great for team morale. 

Capello: No, you're right. Plus, he was rubbish again against Chelsea.

Steven Gerrard then. He's a good player and very, very boring in a press conference. Just what we need, you think?

Pearce: Good choice, gaffa. Good choice.

Not quite to the standard of John Cleese and Co., I'll grant you, but it should at least serve to illustrate the moral malaise which has contributed to a nation's embarrassment in recent years.

England was once soccer's Camelot. These days, it's just one tabloid feeding frenzy after another, punctuated by dismal showings at major tournaments and a succession of doomed coaches. Even our WAGs are being outclassed by the opposition.

Hopes for Euro 2012 were already slim, but the Terry captaincy issue is threatening to undermine England's challenge long before they take on France, Sweden and Ukraine in the tournament's group stage this summer.

It's the second time the Chelsea captain has been stripped of the armband, and the 31-year-old is furious at the FA's decision to act before a court has delivered its verdict.

Far more revealing has been the reaction of Capello—the man who took the captaincy from Terry when it emerged he'd had an affair with the mother of Wayne Bridge's child in 2010, then reinstated him a year later.

This time, Capello was impotent in the decision-making process. FA chief David Bernstein notified him with a phone call on Thursday night, and judging by Capello's comments Sunday, a seriously awkward conversation followed.

"The FA's decision does not find me in agreement. Absolutely not," Capello told Italian television.

"I retained and I retain the belief that John Terry could have kept the captain's armband. I spoke with the chairman and I told him that I don’t think someone can be punished until it becomes official.

"It is going to be civil justice, not sports justice, to decide if John Terry committed that crime."

And with that, England's manager went to war with the FA—one party focusing on winning a football tournament and keeping his players happy, the other attempting to do the same while salvaging a nation's reputation and playing a big-stakes hand of poker that ultimately finds its winners hosting World Cups.

Meanwhile, the public is divided into two camps—those who believe Terry's been unfairly dismissed and those who would have his head on a stake on London Bridge. Those who find it a nauseating premise he was returned to the captaincy can find themselves in either.

(I put myself in the "unfairly dismissed, but shouldn't have been reinstated" category).

The debate is fierce and was played out in deplorable fashion by the Chelsea fans who abused Ferdinand at Stamford Bridge on Sunday.

There is equal fervor in the anti-Terry camp—with Anton Ferdinand's QPR teammate, Joey Barton, taking a predictable position in ripping the Chelsea man on Twitter. And plenty agree with the oft-outspoken Barton. Martin Samuel wrote of a "social lynch mob," and you could probably keep a lawyer busy for eternity with accusations of contempt that could arise from their postings.

Whatever happens next, it seems inevitable England will go to Poland and Ukraine mired in controversy. There's even a suggestion they could go without their manager, but the financial implications for both parties deem that highly unlikely.

For England's long-suffering fans, now 46 years without a trophy, a depressing sense of deja vu is beginning to take hold.

Two years ago, England's best defender, Terry, went to South Africa in shame, while Bridge was so emotionally scarred he chose not to go at all. Meanwhile, their best player, Rooney, spent the tournament facing up to revelations that would follow.

It's hardly a recipe for success, is it? More a cocktail for acute squad disharmony, added pressure and mental fragility that has no place in the latter stages of a major tournament.

It seems unlikely to be improved upon at Euro 2012, either. Terry's looming court case will cast a shadow over preparations from here to June, and there will surely be those in Capello's squad with no wish to share a room with him—let alone a team.

England's only hope is that youthful exuberance can provide a distraction and point a way to the more palatable future.

In the likes of Jack Wilshere, Danny Welbeck, Kyle Walker and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, England boasts some of the most exciting young talents in the game. Capello should set them free this summer and let the next generation show its predecessors how it's done.

We gave the game to the world, but these days, all it gets from us is scandal, morally-bankrupt behavior and soporific performances on the biggest stage.

How refreshing it would be to talk about England winning football matches for once.