A Theme Song for Every NBA Team's Season Thus Far

Oftentimes, the one thing you can remember most vividly about some television shows are their theme song, so with that on my mind, I figured that the NBA teams around the league would be interested in having their own theme song. So, I found a song that each of them could use, if they'd like my advice.

There are songs about depression, betrayal, success, hope and determination in the slides that follow and everything in between.

Most importantly, we have songs from everyone from Chuck Berry, Sam Cooke and The Talking Heads to Public Enemy, Biggie Smalls and Fatboy Slim. Nobody is left out.

So, if you're ready to get down with the new theme song for your favorite NBA team, go ahead and click on and enjoy.

But first, a quick disclaimer. There are a few naughty words here and there in the videos that accompany each slide, so if you don't want to here that, then don't start 'em up.

Atlanta Hawks: Touch of Grey, Grateful Dead

Most Representative Lyrics: The shoe is on the hand that fits/There's really nothing much to it/Whistle through your teeth and spit/Cause it's all right.

This lyric shows that while the Atlanta Hawks are boasting an impressive record and have won quite a few games this season, there's still something off about them.

The team looked like they were going to be mediocre this season, and they've exceeded expectations so far, but they have to rely on Joe Johnson, an aging former star, and are constantly balancing their future success with success for today.

I guess every silver lining has a touch of grey.

Boston Celtics: Hey Hey, My My, Neil Young

Most Representative Lyrics: It's better to burn out, than to fade away/The King is gone but he's not forgotten.

Neil Young's song about moving on and passing away constantly balances the pros and cons of burning out (referencing Johnny Rotten, which may be a reference to Sid Vicious) and fading away (referencing The King, or Elvis), as the Celtics are burning out and fading away.

Even though their individual superstars are fading away, as a team, the Celtics were put together just a few short years ago, and yet they're already fading out of the blue and into the black. However, this year could be their year for burning out in a blaze of glory.

Charlotte Bobcats: Paint It Black, Rolling Stones

Most Representative Lyrics: Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts/It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.

The Charlotte Bobcats barely got a taste of the playoffs before they had to go back to being the Charlotte Bobcats.

This season has been mired in depression for the 'Cats, with very little looking up besides a few good games from Kemba Walker and Bismack Biyombo's recent successful start.

Just watching them play watching them project their sorrow onto the outside world, as if painting it all black.

Chicago Bulls: Ain't No Half Steppin', Big Daddy Kane

Most Representative Lyrics: Up on the stage is where I'mma get you at/You think I'm losing? Pssh, picture that.

One of the coolest rap songs from the late '80s also happens to be the embodiment of one side of the rap coin ever sense its inception.

It's an incredibly boastful song from start to finish, with Big Daddy Kane talking about why he is so awesome and why everyone else isn't on his level, which is kind of what you feel when you watch the Bulls play.

Besides that, Kane's flow in this song is about as good as it gets. He's smooth, clever and just damn cool, just like Derrick Rose.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Johnny B. Goode, Chuck Berry

Most Representative Lyrics: His momma told him someday you will be a man/And you will be the leader of a big ol' band/Many people comin' from miles around/To hear you play your music when the sun goes down/Maybe someday your name'll be in lights/Sayin' Johnny B. Goode tonight.

I'm not sure, but I think Chuck Berry was a fortune teller in his time and foretold the coming of Kyrie Irving with this song.

He talks about Johnny B. Goode as a natural guitarist (But he can play a guitar just like a-ringing a bell) as Kyrie is a natural basketball player, even though he hasn't played many games at a high level.

Dallas Mavericks: I Will Survive, CAKE

Most Representative Lyrics: At first I was afraid, I was petrified/I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side.

First off, you might ask why I picked the CAKE version of this song over Gloria Gaynor. I think the answer is obvious there; trumpet solo.

Anyway, Dallas started out this season in utter shock without Tyson Chandler or any production off the bench. Their season looked bleak.

However, as the season has gone along they've tried hard not to fall apart and they're looking like a good team again.

Denver Nuggets: Don't Stop Me Now, Queen

Most Representative Lyrics: Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time/I'm having a ball, don't stop me now.

To me, the ridiculous offensive pace that the Nuggets play at always reminds me of this fast-paced ditty by Queen.

They are an out-of-control offensive machine that only an explosion will stop, and even then sometimes they'll keep on going.

Detroit Pistons: Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

Most Representative Lyrics: It's been too hard livin', but I'm afraid to die/Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky.

Don't worry guys, this is the saddest song that I've picked out of the bunch, so you don't have to get down and depressed anymore from here on out.

However, Sam Cooke's song about trying ineffectively to break away from the past while moving into the future couldn't describe these Detroit Pistons any more. They've tried to rebuild, but at the same time they've made moves that don't make any sense for their future.

However, change is going to come, it's just a matter of when at this point.

Golden State Warriors: My Back Pages, the Byrds

Most Representative Lyrics: I was so much younger then/I'm younger than that now.

I chose the poppier version that The Byrds sing over the mellow crooning of Bob Dylan because I feel like the Warriors are an easy, poppy team, compared to a complex, multifaceted team that would be represented by a Dylan song.

However, this song is about not meeting expectations and realizing that as a young fellow the thoughts you had were a bit out there. That kind of sounds like Mark Jackson trying to turn this Warriors team into a defensive team, does it not?

Houston Rockets: Once in a Lifetime, Talking Heads

Most Representative Lyrics: And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife/And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

The quirky sound of the Talking Heads always reminds me of the Rockets for some reason, probably because they are an interesting team that plays different than most others. Plus, I like to picture Luis Scola dancing like David Byrne does in this video.

The Houston Rockets were doing one of the most difficult things leading up to this season, trying to turn their team into a contender with a swap of players.

Unfortunately, their team is the same as it ever was.

Indiana Pacers: Break on Through, the Doors

Most Representative Lyrics: But can you still recall the time we cried?/Break on through to the other side.

Jim Morrison's crooning voice and the Indiana Pacers have a lot in common when it comes to this song.

The Pacers were still feeling the effects of the brawl in Detroit even just a few seasons ago. Their team had fallen apart and they were in the throes of rebuilding.

However, now they are looking like a very good team and even though their past still looms close behind them, they're trying to break through that lower-level playoff team plateau, which can be dangerous, and get into the mid-level range.

Los Angeles Clippers: Juicy, Notorious B.I.G.

Most Representative Lyrics: Yeah, this album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin', to all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustlin' in front of that called the police on me when I was just tryin' to make some money to feed my daughters.

See, you guys were starting to think that the only hip hop I got down with was the funky fresh stuff from the '80s, but I like me some strong '90s stuff as well.

The intro to this song really speaks to what the rest of the song is going to be about. Biggie is remembering all he went through to get to this point, and if we're talking about NBA teams as a platform of comparison, no team was struggling quite like the Clippers.

My favorite part of this song speaks to the Clippers' bandwagon filling up quicker than expected with this line, "Now honies play me close like butter plays toast." Damn right they do, Biggie. Damn right.

And yes, even I can see the irony here using Biggie, and not Tupac as the theme song to an L.A team. I hope I don't get shot.

Los Angeles Lakers: Weapon of Choice, Fatboy Slim

Most Representative Lyrics: Listen to the sound of my voice/You can check it all out/It's the weapon of choice.

Besides the crazy antics of Christopher Walken dancing in this video (and flying, which I'm pretty sure he can do without a harness), it's a smooth tune from Fatboy Slim that feels like the Lakers playing ball.

Obviously, the weapon of choice is Kobe Bryant here, and then the chorus (You can go with this, or you can go with that) is the two options the Lakers have down low in Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol.

The Lakers just need to remember that if they walk without a rhythm they won't attract the worm.

Memphis Grizzlies: Kanye West, Jesus Walks

Most Representative Lyrics: I walk through the valley of the shadow of death/Top floor, the view alone will leave you breathless.

I've never been much of a Kanye fan (he's a bit of an off-putting man), but this song is too cool to dislike.

This track is about all of the terrible things going on around the world, but in the end the best thing to do is grit your teeth and bear it, keep faith and everything will work out in the end. Just as the Grizzlies are dealing with injuries, fiddling with their lineup and dealing with front office blunders, Kanye is dealing with his "haters" and staying true to himself.

In the end, he decides that the best thing he can do is be true to himself and play the game his way, just as the Grizzlies have done to win games this year.

Miami Heat: Black Dog, Led Zeppelin

Most Representative Lyrics: Eyes that shine, burning red/Dreams of you all through my head.

"Black Dog" has a few different angles to be looked at from, as on one hand it's got (obviously) huge sexual overtones, but it's also a song about determination and striving for a goal.

We can mix those two together when talking about the Miami Heat, as they are a team striving for the one lady that they want, sweet lady success.

Wade wants greatness, LeBron wants stardom and Bosh wants that ring, all of which will validate what they've done. The only problem is that they're heartache will drip on the way to their goal, they can't keep it away.

Milwaukee Bucks: Black Water, Doobie Brothers

Most Representative Lyrics: Well if it rains, I don't care/Don't make no difference to me.

Mostly, this is a song about being happy with what you have and making do with what you can make do with.

If it rains, don't make too much of a fuss over it, because it's going to stop raining eventually.

The Bucks have dealt with quite a bit of rain so far this season with injuries and players underperforming, but they've weathered the storm and everything's starting to look up for them.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Don't Look Back, Boston

Most Representative Lyrics: It's a bright horizon and I'm wakin' now/Oh I see myself in a brand new way/The sun is shinin'/The clouds are breakin'.

Obviously, it seems like it's been ages since the Minnesota Timberwolves were meaningful in the NBA, and it has been.

To me, this song is telling them to not worry about the past, the years of sorrow and just keep on moving toward that bright, shiny horizon, but also to avoid old mistakes along the way.

New Jersey Nets: Help!, the Beatles

Most Representative Lyrics: Help! I need somebody/Help! Not just anybody.

Let's put our brains together and figure out who could possibly be in need of help in this situation. Actually, it's everyone involved, but they all need the same thing, just for different reasons.

The main thing this team needs is another good player (although I would ask for depth myself, but the view seems to be that Dwight Howard would be fine). Deron Williams needs him for a reason to stick around, the rest of the team needs him to start winning and the front office needs him to bring an exciting team into Brooklyn.

New Orleans Hornets: House of the Rising Sun, the Animals

Most Representative Lyrics: Well, I got one foot on the platform/The other foot on the train/I'm goin' back to New Orleans/To wear that ball and chain.

One of the most depressing songs The Animals ever sang for one of the most depressing teams in the NBA this season.

The New Orleans Hornets have been in a spiral of self-loathing and seem to have a bleaker future every day what with Minnesota's first-round draft pick looking worse every day and Eric Gordon dropping hints left and right that he wants to leave as soon as he can.

New York Knicks: Ironic, Alanis Morissette

Most Representative Lyrics: You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up/In your face.

Isn't it ironic that all of these mostly normal things happen that bum people out? Not really, Alanis Morisette. Unless of course she intentionally wrote a song called "Ironic" and filled it with things that weren't ironic to make it the most ironic thing possible.

Anyway, I digress. It's that thought that this song really has nothing ironic in it that relates to the New York Knicks.

Do I think that a Mike D'Antoni offense can be run without a point guard and by a guy whose main tool is slowing down the ball and breaking down his opponent? Not exactly, Knicks.

It's not ironic, and it's not surprising, we should have seen this coming from a mile away.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Ben E. King, Stand by Me

Most Representative Lyrics: If the sky, that we look upon, should tumble and fall/And the mountains should crumble to the sea/I won't cry, I won't cry.

There are two ways that I see this song in relation to the Oklahoma City Thunder so far this season.

First of all, I feel like there is less of a rift between Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant compared to last season. I feel like they've got each other's backs more and they realize what they have to do to win.

Beyond that, this team seems to have a solution to any problem they run into. They can bang with harsh defensive teams and they can shoot the lights out with the streaky offensive teams. Any obstacle that comes their way, they can overcome.

Orlando Magic: Burning Down the House, Talking Heads

Most Representative Lyrics: Hold tight, wait 'til the party's over/Hold tight, we're in for nasty weather.

Looking at this song, it pretty much covers every angle that a person could have on this whole Dwight Howard ordeal going on in Orlando.

Starting out with, "Watch out, you might get what you're after," is telling Howard that if and when he does get what he wants that he better deliver. He's been a great player in his time in the NBA, but he's never been the dominant center that Shaq, Hakeem, Kareem, Wilt and Bill Russell all were.

Then, the lyrics that I started this slide with is the thought that the Magic could hold onto Howard and see if they can convince him to re-sign. It's risky, and it could lead to nasty weather, but it might be the best option.

Philadelphia 76ers: Fight the Power, Public Enemy

Most Representative Lyrics: Power to the people no delay/To make everybody see/In order to fight the powers that be.

One of the most powerful and controversial songs in rap history has to deal with Public Enemy calling out the world and the racism that permeates to the core, calling for the people to fight this unfair establishment.

This year in the NBA, everyone who we thought was going to be good and be title contenders pretty much are, but there are a few intruders in the bunch. At the top of this list of intruders stands Philadelphia.

Let's just hope they can fight the power and make things interesting.

Phoenix Suns: Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd

Most Representative Lyrics: The child has grown, the dream is gone/I have become comfortably numb.

It's easy to interpret this song as a ballad about heroine use, but on the surface it's about a burnt out performer who needs help getting through each and every show. Pink (the man in the song) has built up a wall around himself to the point where he's oblivious to the outside.

Steve Nash may not be to that extent yet, but he is basically Pink at this point in his NBA career. He wants to do well by the team, and because of that he's willing to give up a shot at a title. Some see this as loyalty, some as naiveté, it's all open to interpretation. 

Portland Trail Blazers: On to the Next One, Jay-Z

Most Representative Lyrics: I move onward, the only direction/Can't be scared to fail, searchin' perfection.

The Portland Trail Blazers are constantly forced to move forward these days, as they've dealt with injuries and guys getting older faster than they had expected. What do they do? They just move on to the next guy.

It's impressive how seamlessly they transition from the Brandon Roy Era to the LaMarcus Aldridge Era over the past few seasons, and although they aren't the best team in the league, they're still paying quite well.

Sacramento Kings: Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden

Most Representative Lyrics:  In my shoes, a walking sleep/And my youth I pray to keep.

This youthful team with a lot of exciting young talent is having troubles doing anything of merit, mostly because of the fact that they have no way of meshing together.

At this point they'll play games where it does see they're in a walking sleep, just going down the court chucking up a shot and then jogging back on defense.

Beyond that, this is a song where the phrase "black hole" is sung about 348 times. The Sacramento Kings are a team that employs roughly 348 basketball black holes.

San Antonio Spurs: Times They Are a-Changing, Bob Dylan

Most Representative Lyrics: If your time to you is worth savin'/Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone.

Dylan's smokey voice warns us in one of his most popular songs that the wheels of fortune are constantly in spin and that, "The loser now will be later to win." Of course this is a warning to those in prosperity that it could be over soon, as well.

However, unlike most of the people in the song that don't heed the advice, the Spurs are swimming, and they're adapting to the NBA today in order to survive, which they are doing quite well.

Toronto Raptors: The Waiting, Tom Petty

Most Representative Lyrics: Well yea I might have chased a couple women around/And all it ever got me was down.

Basically, if we interpret this song through the eyes of the Toronto Raptors, it's a song about them waiting for something good to happen again.

This season was written off as a loss from the start after drafting Jonas Valanciunas, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. If he comes in next season and plays well, gaining the starting center spot, Toronto can bump Andrea Bargnani down to power forward and you could be looking at a legitimate basketball team.

However, they've chased a few women around in their days (Vince Carter and Chris Bosh), but it never ended up well.

Utah Jazz: Takin' Care of Business, BTO

Most Representative Lyrics: There's a whistle up above and people pushin' people shovin'.

All the Utah Jazz do is play tough, smart basketball, mixed with a little finesse on the side. They just take care of business.

This song is about the day-to-day grind that people deal with as well as the "easy" life of a musician, both of which have their challenges.

When you equate this to the Jazz, they have those guys (Paul Millsap being first and foremost) who do all the dirty work and then those guys (Al Jefferson being the best) who finesse their way around the court and skillfully get the ball in the basket.

Washington Wizards: The Benny Hill Theme

Most Representative Lyrics: The whole freaking thing.

I feel like if every Washington Wizards game was sped up to about double or triple the speed and then this song was thrown over the background and put on a loop then we would have a much more entertaining game.

Everything would make sense then. Every time Andray Blatche inexplicably airballs a layup or falls over trying to play defense, every time JaVale McGee makes a boneheaded play or every time John Wall looks like he wants to cry it would be funny, instead of just sad as it is right now.

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